“The only unnatural sex act is that which you cannot perform.” – Alfred Kinsey

They are chic, sleek and used by nearly half the population and can totally help you and your partner spice up your sex life. I’m talking about vibrators, and if your only related experience involved a threatening penis-shaped slab of plastic, you’re missing out. Not only are the most recent vibes to hit the market way more aesthetically pleasing, but they were created by designers to make contact with your partner’s body (and yours!) in the most nerve-tingling ways.

Erotic… and elegant

What sparked the change? It started back with Sex and the City. Seeing a character like Charlotte get acquainted with a vibrator helped break stigma on sex toys. The trouble was, there wasn’t a large selection of sophisticated products available at the time. Enter designers who realized that they could apply their eye for luxe design to the untapped sex-toy market. In 2002, a few years after Charlotte got her buzz on, Ethan Imboden, an industrial designer, began fielding client requests for custom-designed vibrators. Women wanted sex toys that looked sexy, not scary. This realization caused him to start up Jimmy Jane, an upscale vibrator company based in San Francisco.

Imboden and other designers – including Suki Dunham or OhMiBod and Nomi Tang, creator of vibrators like Better Than Chocolate – began doing research with sex experts for insight into the ideal vibrator. They quickly discovered that penetration isn’t necessarily the most effective pathway to pleasure. Many women tell me the best sensations from their vibrators come when they’re being used by their partners around the clitoris and vulva. These revelations led to a new generation of toys that hit all of a woman’s hot spots and are worthy of displaying on your bedside table. For example, the Jimmy-Jane 2 vibrator looks like a postmodern sculpture of a rabbit – with each ear designed to stimulate either side of her clitoris.

Welcome to orgasm central

Even if she’s one of those lucky chicks who can climax quickly, you owe it to her to help her experience a vibrator-induced orgasm. That’s because there are actually nerve endings surrounding the clitoris that respond best to the speed and strength of vibrations, so she will be experiencing pleasure she wouldn’t feel through sex or manual masturbation.

And if reaching an O can be elusive, spending time experimenting with a vibe can give you insight into where she needs to be touched to trigger the big release. Once you’re ID-ed those precise areas, it makes it that much easier for you to follow lead. Not peaking due to a mental block? Using a vibe in front of you is a great way for her to let go like never before. A lot of women have trouble reaching orgasm in front of their partner, because they’re either self-conscious or overwhelmed by so many sensations. Focusing on her own needs can sometimes be just what she needs to lose her inhibitions. Try it out by asking her to give you a sexy show, which will double as a hot-for-teacher tutorial. Watch then take the lead to demonstrate what you gleaned from viewing her technique.

Toys for two

While vibes can help women get through a dry spell or over the, ahem, hump of performance anxiety, they can be just as essential in a long term relationship. A study has found that almost 40 percent of women have used a vibrator with a partner, during either foreplay or intercourse. Some tricks to try: Alternate oral sex with vibrator strokes to her labia, or hold it in the palm of your hands as you stroke her down there with your fingers. Or consider a couple vibe, like the innovative We-Vibe, which she uses while you’re inside her. One end of the toy touched her clitoris, and the other buzzes against her G-spot. Adding this toy to your sexual arsenal guarantees plenty of hot hookups. Which is much more than I can say for sexting.

Have a hot week,

Gabrielle Moore

P.S. If you end up inviting your vibrator into the action, make sure it receives the role of a supporting player, not the main course.

“To succeed with the opposite sex, tell her you’re impotent. She can’t wait to disprove it.” – Cary Grant

We see it all the time in the movies and on TV – couples who are ready to rip each other’s heads off one moment then are ripping each other’s clothes off the next. But is that a good thing? During a fight, anger produces an adrenaline rush that creates a response in your brain similar to sexual arousal – which explains that scene in Revolutionary Road when Leo and Kate go from bickering in the kitchen to being so hot for each other that they have to do it right then and there on the countertop.

Sex when you’re pissed off is passionate, so it’s no surprise that we’re turned on by the idea of it. Plus, angry sex has been romanticized, so everyone thinks it’s okay. But physical intimacy can sometimes exacerbate a problem. So when should you embrace it and when should you shun it? I explain.

Mad for you

There are two reasons why couples lust for each other when they’re feuding – the first is the thrill that you both get from redirecting a fight’s crazy intensity into the bedroom. It’s not uncommon for people to purposely fuel the drama in an argument out of a sense of boredom because angry sex provides exciting stimulation in the short term. The problem is, if you can’t learn to manage your feelings without having to resort to sex, the relationship isn’t going to make it.

The second is the misconception that by replacing a strained emotional connection with a strong physical one, you can mend the cracks. Sex can be healing in certain situations, but when you’re dealing with a more serious issue, that intimacy is only a temporary fix.

So what qualifies as a serious issue?

It’s any talk about breaking up, or maybe one of you feels deeply betrayed by something the other did – you shared personal details about your sex life with your friends, for example. And then there is the mother of them all: jealousy. The cardinal rule for couples who want to last is never to have sex when one of you is feeling jealous. You need to deal with the jealousy as adults, no try to make it disappear by inserting sex into the situation.

It’s also important to point out that sex means different things to men than it does to women. Men express their feelings through actions, but women really need to talk it out. Having sex indicated to you that the problem has been dealt with and that she’s okay with it, when maybe she thought you were just couching the issue temporarily.

The one exception

Minor disputes – about how she’s always late or how you constantly leave your dirty dishes in the sink – are examples of non-relationship-threatening issues when angry sex won’t do damage. What’s key is that you feel like you and her are still on the same team. When there is a forgiving spirit present, sex can recharge the relationship. Just be crystal clear about your terms: let her know you’re down with a temporary cease-fire but you are still open to discuss what happened later. Then take out your aggression by riding her like a banshee out of hell.

Have a quiet week,

Gabrielle Moore

P.S. Remember there are other ways to release your rage that are almost as good as sex: retail therapy, a massage, indulging in a very tasty, very caloric adult beverage, etc.

“Sex is like washing your face – just something you do because you have to.” – Sophia Loren

There’s a whole wide – and wild – world of naughty knowledge out there that even a carnally curious dude like yourself hasn’t been clued in on. For an erotic education, read on.

1. You’ve probably heard that it takes 20 minutes for a woman to get aroused. But using thermal imaging of people’s bodies, researchers at McGill University determined that women get aroused as rapidly as men do – in about 11 to 12 minutes.
2. Research shows that lying down can dampen sensitivity to smell and sound. So missionary is not going to be as multi-sensory as a position in which you’re able to sit up.
3. A survey by the Family Planning Association in the U.K. found that condom failure often occurs because the prophylactic is too big (and winds up slipping off)  or too small (and winds up tearing). So take your ego out of the equation and make sure your rubber fits like a glove.
4. Scatophilia: sexual gratification from talking about naughty or obscene matters with a stranger, often by telephone.
5. In Uganda, many young women pinch and apply a mixture of herbs to their labia to elongate them. They believe men find this attractive.
6. One unconventional way to prevent pregnancy: polyester undies for you. According to research, men who wore polyester underwear became temporarily sterile, possibly due to abnormally high testicular temps and electromagnetic fields.
7. Why does semen sometimes have a bleach-like smell? It’s due to the chemical spermine, a natural disinfectant that buffers the sperm from vaginal acids.
8. She’s having trouble getting turned on? Before you assume it has to do with you, consider changing her birth controls. The combination of hormones in different pills can have a marked effect on her level of arousal, including the amount of natural lubrication her body produces.
9. Ultrasound tests have revealed that male fetuses are capable of getting erections during the last trimester.
10. A University of Florida study found that narcissists are more likely to have casual sex. Apparently, these self-involved folks look at sex in terms of power, not caring and love.
11. In ancient Athens, a cheating male was sometimes punished by having his pubic hair removed and a large radish inserted into his rectum.
12. Yes, it is possible to have too much of a good thing. One rare but very real problem for some women is PSAS (persistent sexual arousal syndrome). Those affected experience constant sexual excitement that cannot be relieved by orgasm.
13. For some women, the hottest time to have sex is in the middle of their cycles. During the second week (day 11 to 15 leading ovulation), she’s bursting with estrogen and testosterone, making her especially sensitive to touch.
14. Interspecies sex is a known phenomenon. For example, polar bears have gotten down with grizzlies.
15. In Thailand, males are offered free vasectomies on the king’s birthday – often, more than 1,000 are performed in his honor.
16. A male experiences an average of four to five nocturnal erections while he’s sleeping.
17. A Durex Global sex survey found that Greeks are having more sex on average than any other nationality. They are followed closely by Croatians.
18. The length of a flaccid penis has no direct correlation to the size of the same penis when erect.
19. If your partner is a bike rider, she may seriously want to consider taking up a new sport. A study in The Journal of Sexual Medicine found that women who participate in competitive bicycling experience decreased genital sensation.
20. German researchers have found that a woman’s libido begins to drop once she’s in a secure relationship. After four years together, less than half of the study’s female participants wanted sex as often as their partners did.
21. Among the nobility in 18^th century, it was common for a married woman to hire a cicisbeo – a male escort, confidant and lover.
22. Stress and pelvic tension can cause men’s penises to shorten. On the flip side, a relaxed pelvis can help increase penis length.
23. According to research, the most common erotic fantasy is sex with a past, present or imaginary partner.
24. A study done at Wilkes University found that college students who had sex once or twice a week had 30 percent more immunoglobulin A, which boosts your immune system.
25. A small number of women are allergic to semen. Proteins from a man’s prostate gland can result in itching, burning, and hives both on the genitals and other parts of the body.

Have a great week,

Gabrielle Moore

P.S. Knowledge is power when it comes to sex as well. Who knows when you are going to find these tidbits of information particularly useful, right?

“Marriage must fight constantly against a monster which devours everything: routine.” – Honoré de Balzac.

If your next-door neighbors can set their watches by your bedroom sessions, it’s time to snap out of your routine. It’s Thursday night, 11 pm. You’ve just had sex with the woman you love. You came, she came. So why a dissatisfied niggle? Turns out, you might have got too good at sex. In a relationship, you learn what you like and repeat that technique. But it’s a turn-off knowing exactly what’s on the menu. Here’s how to bring sexy back.

It’s in the air

Remember the non-stop sex when you met? In those first 18 months, you’re charged with hormones, which keeps sex at the top of the agenda. Then discussing who’s making dinner takes over who’s making who horny. To recapture sexy banter, saturate chats with flirty jokes and saucy suggestions, or interrupt a row with a smile and ‘I can’t wait to make out with you’. And invent a code word for sex, then use it when you’re not in a sexual situation.

Take it up a level: Make sexy bets, like ‘If England beat Australia in rugby, I’ll serve you ice cream in the nude”.

Have a sexy staycation

Ever noticed how your desire for sex goes into overdrive on holiday? This is partly because your stress level drops, so your libido rises, and partly because everyday distractions are removed, so you can focus on your partner. Recapture that holiday feeling at home by turning your bedroom into a bonk-busting boudoir. Tidy up any clutter, ban the TV and make your room sexy, reddish tones and lower-watt bulbs are most flattering to naked flesh.

Take it up a level: Bring some wine and fruit – like strawberries – to bed and stay there for 12 hours.

Make friends with fantasy

Most people thing that it’s up to their partner to turn them on. But think back on your first crush on a singer or actress. You were seduced by that person without ever meeting them. You turn yourself on. Sex becomes predictable because you have turned your imagination off. To reignite your passion, take five minutes to remain undisturbed, with your eyes closed. Fantasize about your partner – either new sexy situations or a hot memory. Next time you’re in bed together you will tune into these thoughts, leading to a steamier night.

Take it up a level: Tell her that you’re fantasizing – it will free her to do the same without feeling guilty.

Swap roles

It’s easy to get entrenched in a passive or dominant role. No matter how much you used to love it when you bent her over a chair, by the zillionth time it gets boring. This can mean you’re always responsible for initiating sex which puts unfair pressure on you, and if you’re not forthcoming, she’s frustrated. Overhaul your sex persona. Normally dominant? Act coy. Normally the shy one? Turn up the volume.

Take it up a level: If you don’t usually initiate, surprise her with a dinner date, then bring her home and suddenly seduce her skirt off.

Undress for success

One of the first rituals to be discarded is undressing each other. Foreplay starts long before you get in the sheets – so never unzip your pants yourself. To strip a woman in a dress, stand behind her. With both hands holding her shoulders, ease off her dress while kissing her neck. Now face her and, keeping eye contact, slip off her bra and take her panties off.

Take it up a level: Take a bath together or lather her up in the shower. Who knew washing was such fun?

Ban the bed

A major complaint I hear from couples is that sex takes place in the same place at the same time. If sex never changes its backdrop, you’re not adding any new images to your bank of sexy memories. Have a snug in an alley you walk past every day, seduce her as she cooks dinner, or have sex on the sofa as things get steamy during a DVD.

Take it up a level: Have sex on the stairs doggie-style – it’s as raunchy as doing it standing up, but without the height issues.

Have a steamy week,

Gabrielle Moore

P.S. Also, have sex in the morning, instead of in the evening. What better start of day can you possibly envision?

“Sex is the great amateur art. The professional, male or female, is frowned on: he or she misses the point, and spoils the show.” – David Cort

You’ll tackle a spider without batting an eyelid but when you’re confronted by your partner, for example, wielding an eyelash curler, you are a little bit scared. There are some things about women that not only you don’t understand, but you’re also a bit afraid of. Here, I’m shedding light on the most important (and curious!) of them.

1. She might not be so impressed with your penis size. ‘Tiny cock’: no two words are more capable of reducing a man to a quivering, weeping wreck. You’re quite fond of your penises, you blokes. You talk about them, play with them, construct buildings shaped like them. You also like to think that your penises are… substantial. You need to believe that women are impressed by your significant other – and by impressed I mean gasping with awe at its magnificence. The thought that women might believe your penises to be anything other than the eighth wonder of the natural world is more horrifying than the prospect of being left to make small talk with her mother for more than five minutes.

2. When she’s quiet. You know how sometimes, when you’re watching Homeland and she’s trying to talk to you about a great deal she saw online (30-per-cent-off espadrilles, can you believe it?), you end up sighing and saying, ‘That’s good, babe’, without paying much attention to her rambling? You fear that it probably makes her think you wish she’d leave you in manly silence.  But you know what’s even more frightful for a man than hearing his girlfriend carping on about 30-per-cent espadrilles? Her girlfriend not carping on about 30-per-cent espadrilles. You’ll happily sit next to your best mate in a pub for hours with rarely a monosyllabic grunt exchanged, but a quiet woman is a woman to be feared. What horrible dinner parties is she mentally committing you to? What parts of your anatomy is she questioning the size of (see above)?

3. Two-hour phone calls with her mum. What could she possibly be talking about that she didn’t already covered during her previous two-hour conversation five days ago? Nothing’s happened since! She went to work, you bought a new sheet set, you had dinner at your best friends’ place, you went to a poker game with topless card dealers and didn’t get home until five the next mor… Oh.

4. She knows more about you than you realize. Like Clint Eastwood’s ‘Man With No Name’, you like to think of yourselves as unknowable loners: mysterious, firm-jawed, stoic. You only open your mouths for three things: cussin’, drinkin’ and lovin’. Yep, you’re her metaphorical riddle, wrapped in a mystery, stuffed in a polo shirt. So how the hell did she know that you like mushroom sauce on your schnitzel but pepper sauce on your steak? And what is she doing calling your sister on her birthday when you can’t even remember her sister’s name? And you’re pretty sure you never told her about that time you wet your pants on a Year Three excursion. Hang on… has she been talking to your mum?

5. She’s funnier than you? Let’s be clear: you’re the funny ones, okay? She can be smart and socially competent and thoughtful and all of that other touchy-feely stuff, but you’re the gag masters. When her friends want to come over for dinner, it’s not because of her buttered asparagus spears. It’s because of your instant recall of Family Guy quotes and clever use of sarcasm. Right? Damn right!

6. Eyelash curlers. Get. That. Away. From. Your. Face. When a bird flu pandemic wipes out 98 per cent of the world’s population, rendering the planet a post-apocalyptic nightmare of scarce resources and cannibalism, and you’re forced to resort to inhuman, violent acts to survive, eyelash curlers will form a crucial part of your deadly arsenal, along with battery-operated hair straighteners and bikini line wax strips.

7. She might realize she’s too good for you. The great irony of men is that even though you invariably behave like you don’t realize how good you’ve got it, deep, deep down in your souls (past the part of you that knows strippers don’t actually think you’re really great guys), you fear that you don’t deserve the women in your lives and some day they might leave you. This fact, this truly sincere fear of yours, though never expressed, makes a woman never want to leave you.

Have a great week,

Gabrielle Moore

P.S. This piece was meant to put a smile on your face, of course I know you’re not afraid of eyelash curlers! How could you be, they’re harmless, right?

“Remember, if you smoke after sex, you’re doing it too fast” – Woody Allen

Behold! All the latest sexy, fascinating and useful pieces of information you’ve ever wanted to know about female anatomy, your own, and the awesomeness of sex itself, plus a few “what-the-hell-is-going-on” surprises. Because the more you know, the more you O!

1. A woman’s breasts can swell up to 25 per cent when she’s aroused, making them super sensitive. Plus, nipple stimulation activates the same part of the brain as clitoral, vaginal and cervical stimulation – so engaging all of them at once makes for a whole lot of fun.
2. The average speed of a guy’s ejaculation is 45 km/h. And semen can keep the smile of your partner looking gorgeous. It contains zinc and calcium that fight tooth decay. At the same time, know that semen isn’t low carb – it’s mostly made of sugar. Also, it’s possible for you to orgasm and not ejaculate. So if she doesn’t see any, uh, evidence, calm her down, that doesn’t mean you were faking it. This is a piece of information worth sharing with your partner, since the majority of women have no idea this actually happens.
3. Nerve endings in the clitoris extend out to the mons pubis (where a woman’s pubic hair grows), which is why grinding against you feels so good for a woman. Therefore, even though the clitoris has 8000 nerve endings and it doesn’t stop growing (by age 32, a woman’s clitoris is four times larger than it was at puberty, that’s why a woman’s odds of climaxing increase as she ages), resist the temptation to just hit the jackpot. Diversity is always good.
4. Not only does it feel amazing, your orgasm also has other things going for it. It releases endorphins, which are natural painkillers, and oxytocin, which makes you feel more connected as a couple and overall happier. The National Bureau of Economic Research in the US found that having sex often can make you feel as happy as earning an extra 100,000 $ a year does. Even though the typical female orgasm lasts 25 seconds (boo-hoo!), all these feel-good hormones rush through her entire body in no time. Also, studies show that sex can boost your immune system while sex during her period can ease menstrual cramps.
5. She can amp up your pleasure during oral sex by stroking your inner thighs. Because this area is so close to your genitals, the extra flow of blood will heighten your sensations. Also, she can apply a minty lip balm before kissing – it will send tingles to your package. If you’re close to climaxing, she can buy some time by squeezing the head of your penis. If she’s the one prone to not lasting very longer during oral, tell her to sprinkle salt on her tongue before going at it. It helps lessen her gag reflex. Another tip: touching the sides of your torso triggers a nerve that makes your erection harder.
6. Thrusting flexes a woman’s pelvic floor muscles, which triggers orgasmic spasms. That’s why a woman can feel that she has an overall orgasm during the whole period of having sex, if your technique of thrusting is really amazing. Also, compliments in bed make her more likely to orgasm. Another piece of quirky information: a woman is more likely to orgasm if her feel are warm, so even though socks are the least sexy item in the bedroom repertoire, have her wear them during sex. It will feel more amazing than ever. If you want to be the one that makes her temperature rise, touch her chest of face, it’s more effective than touching her arms or hands.
7. Research shows that men who have sex within a relationship report greater pleasure than guys who have no-strings-attached sex. That’s because having sex at a certain pace and with a certain constancy helps. Sex three to five times a week can also prevent erectile dysfunctions, as it keeps your package in shape. Also, your relationship happiness is related to how often you’re touched by your girl. So grab away. Especially since hugging for 30 seconds is also a good way to get in the mood. Cuddling boosts oxytocin (aka the bonding hormone) and libido.
8. Women can have wet dreams too. It happens in the REM cycle (about 90 minutes into her sleep), when blood flow to the vagina increases. Also, fourteen per cent of women have experiences a “zone orgasm”, which happens when a part of the body other than the boobs or vagina are stimulated. Another good news for your lady counterpart: core-gasms do exist. In a recent study, 51 per cent of women reported having an orgasm during an abdominal exercise. And it’s not just for crunches. 20 per cent said they’ve experienced orgasm while practicing yoga.
9. A guy whose girlfriend hangs out with his mates too much is 92 per cent more likely to have difficulties getting erect, because he feels emasculated. So be careful before you change your partner into “one of the guys”.
10. Eating celery while with your partner? You may want to jump her – the vegetable releases odors that make you horny.
11. When you kiss someone, you exchange hormonal and health information. It’s nature’s way of allowing you to assess if you click sexually. A good sexual match is more important to women than to men. Fifty per cent of women say bad sex is a relationship deal breaker, but only 44 per cent of guys agree.
12. If you find it hard to stay hard, avoid girl-on-top as your penis will be fighting gravity. Also, don’t hold your breath during sex. The more oxygen that gets to your genitals, the more aroused you’ll be.
13. Women with a more prominent upper-lip tubercle (the puffy spot) have greater odds of having an orgasm.
14. Sex can actually blow your mind: transient amnesia (temporary memory loss) can be triggered by wild sex.

Have a sexy week,

Gabrielle Moore

P.S. Forty-six per cent of Americans think they are more likely to see Bigfoot than to climax at the exact same time as their partner. I guess they haven’t been reading my column.

“My mother told me that life isn’t always about pleasing yourself and that sometimes you have to do things for the sole benefit of another human being. I completely agreed with her, but reminded her that that was what blow jobs were for.” – Chelsea Handler

Naughty girls can teach good boys a few things about oral, and sex in general. And when I say naughty girls I don’t mean Playboy bunnies, porn starlets or Pamela Anderson, mind you. I mean girls who know what they want in bed and are not afraid to say it in their most awesome and desirable orgasm voice. If enjoying sex makes me, for example, a bad girl, I’m more than happy to assume the title, thank you very much. Therefore, in order to help you put you’re A game when it comes to toe curling cunnilingus, I’ve talked to women and asked them bluntly what it is that they want. Their answers are simple and all you have to do is follow them “a la lettre”.

1)    Verbalize. Understand this is an immutable truth: when it comes to oral sex, women want to be sure you’re feeling pleasure as well. Otherwise we’ll start thinking we’ve somehow forced you into doing what you otherwise wouldn’t and we won’t get any pleasure at all from the entire experience. Only when you are satisfied and we can see our down there region and what you’re doing with it have made you satisfied, will we be truly satisfied ourselves. So speak up. Talk to us during oral sex. Tell us what you want to do to us next, how good you feel when you kiss us there and you touch us like this. But without babbling. Nothing’s worse than running commentary, fake smiles or insincerity. Also, ask us if we’d like something different, if there’s a certain touch we’re fond of or certain moves that are proved to get us there. We’d love the same openness when we perform oral sex on you. If we’re not hitting the right spot, we want you to point us the right direction. All penises are different. Sometimes even the most experienced women can find themselves lost down there.

2)    Remember there are other spots too. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but simplicity isn’t always the answer when it comes to oral sex. It’s not enough to just suck on the tiny clitoris like there’s no tomorrow and expect a woman to be done in sixty seconds. Use your fingers and palms to arouse the entire vaginal area, not only the clitoris. Also, practice double arousal movements, for example massage our thighs and buttocks while you’re swirling your tongue up and down our vaginal lips. And don’t forget our breasts! Nothing will gratify a woman more than a man who pays attention to her entire body. This means taking it slower and building arousal step by step, which is the most important thing when it comes to how a woman is supposed to enjoy the full oral experience. And try to maintain some level of eye contact while you’re down there (we’ll thank you later).

3)    Initiate. When it comes to oral sex, don’t expect a woman to bluntly ask for it. She’d rather go without. Be the lead dance partner in this game and she’ll thank you for it. Place your hand under our skirt while we’re still at the dinner table. Stop us on the way to the bedroom, push us against a wall and go down on us. Stop mid-session, take us to the bed and continue. Be just as audacious as you’d be when it comes to sex itself. Tie our wrists to the bedposts, blindfold us. An assertive man, especially as far as oral sex is concerned, is very appealing.

4)    Don’t forget the love. Inside every bad girl is a soft center as well. She might want it hard and aloof a lot of the time, but at the end of the day she’s just as vulnerable and sensitive as any other woman. She wants love too. She’s just prepared to enjoy herself in the process of finding it. It just boils down to one thing in the end: a woman is looking for great sex with intimacy, empathy and attraction. If the physical and mental attraction is there, the sex is electric, the post-coital conversations are entertaining, and if you spoon, she’ll love you forever. Love is everything, even for sex crazed people.

Have a spectacular week,

Gabrielle Moore

P.S. You might think it’s kinky, animalistic, and “out there”, but it’s not a woman’s idea of a great time to be pulled into a French kiss straight after you’ve swallowed her juices. We love that you do that, don’t get me wrong – but the last thing we want to do is taste our own sort of ejaculation.

Gentlemen, are you one of the many, MANY men out there who has questions about performing oral sex on a woman? If so, you are certainly not alone. Questions about giving a woman oral pleasure are as common as stars in the sky. What do they like? What do they not like? How do I do it? The questions go on and on. The smart men know how to look for the answers and finding your way here is a good start.

Is Everyone Doing It?

The truth is, oral sex is one of the most common sexual behaviors. However, for some reason, a lot of men lack confidence when it comes to working below the female equator with anything but their penis. Oral sex can be particularly nerve racking for some men. But why? Come on guys, giving a woman pleasure through oral sex is not as difficult as you may think it is! No need to shy away from it.

The Heart of the Matter

Women love oral sex. Not only does it show them that their partner is accepting of their body and willing to give them pleasure, it feels wonderful! More women climax through oral sex than intercourse. So many women are taught that their bodies, especially their genitals, are dirty and something to be ashamed of. They worry about how they look, feel, taste and smell. When a man goes down on a woman, she often sees it as a bigger act of intimacy than intercourse. She can feel especially vulnerable as the focus of pleasure is all on her at that moment and many women are not comfortable in this role.  Part of your job is to make her comfortable so she can enjoy the pleasure you want to give her.

Finding Your Way Around

By far, one of the most important things you can do to increase your oral sex skills is to get to know your woman’s anatomy.  When you are trying to make her crazy with pleasure pause a moment and take a good look down there. Find her clitoral hood. As you stimulate her, it retracts and the clitoris comes out and gets erect. Get to know her entire genital area, her labia, vagina and anus included. Knowing what you are working with is a must if you are going to have any ability to give her pleasure. Going in blind only makes things more difficult.

Slow, Slower and Slowest

First, start slowly. No need to dive right in. Let her anticipation and arousal grow. Slowly undress her and have her lay on her back. Kiss your way ever so slowly down from her lips to her neck, then her breasts and tummy until you get to her genitals. Kiss the inside of her thighs while using your finger to lightly stimulate her clitoris. Then head back up to her lips. Repeat this trail of pleasure as many times as you like, or rather as she likes.

A Compromising Position

Second, remember the importance of positioning. Make good use of the pillows on the bed and put a couple under her hips to elevate her pelvis. This gives you easier access to her sweet spots and you won’t have to feel like you are sheet diving when trying to reach important areas.

A Warm Wind Blows

Third, think about different ways to give sensations to her clitoris. Try gently blowing warm air on her clitoris while you are kissing inside her thighs and getting her excited. Not necessarily directly on her clitoris but maybe in small circles around it and on the insides of her thighs.

Wet your Whistle

Performing oral sex on someone while you have dry mouth is setting yourself up for an epic fail. Not only does it make it hard for you but it feels terrible for her. A dry tongue feels like sandpaper against a clitoris. Make sure you are hydrated. Take a drink of water or suck on some hard candy to keep the juices in your mouth flowing so you can keep the juices between her legs flowing.

With some effort on your part to make her pleasure a priority, there is no reason why your oral sex skills cannot increase tenfold. Remember that diversity is the spice of life so do not be afraid to mix it up and try something new. If it doesn’t go as planned the first time, keep trying. She will appreciate your effort and know you really care about her pleasure.

„I like to see oral sex and manual sex and intercourse as foreplay for my vibrator sex”- Betty Dodson

There’s a persistent myth floating around that women don’t really dig oral play, that all they really crave is intercourse. Not true. Not one bit true. The mix-up lies in the fact that women simply desire a different type of oral sex than men do- moves that take into account the way girls’ erogenous zones work and the specific touches they desire.

Bellow, I detail six woman-pleasing moves that will slowly bring her lust to a boil.

1) Really see her naked

Even if she’s stripped down with you before, there’s a good chance you never feasted your eyes on her completely bare body for more than a few seconds. Maybe it’s because she undresses quickly in a passion frenzy or your bodies are too close for you to really take her in. But it’s a surefire arousal trigger for a woman.
When a woman sees desire in her lover’s eyes, her oxytocin levels rise, spiking her sex drive. Plus, she’ll feel sex-kittenish knowing you’re so mesmerized by how she looks naked. Therefore, the longer you let your eyes linger, the more aroused she’ll be.
While you’re on the bed, peel off her clothes slowly. Keep the lights on, so that you take in every inch of her body and she can see you doing it. Swivel her naked body around, so that you can view it from different angles, then lean in for a few close-ups.

2) Tell her how excited she gets you

Before any touching has taken place, lie close to your partner and whisper how hot she’s made you. Most women aren’t used to softer, sensual talk from their partners, so this will take her by surprise and create the much needed anticipation. Also, don’t be afraid to be explicit- for example, tell her how hard you are down bellow. Once she’s under your spell, graze your fingers precariously close to her private parts. By physically hinting at the action to come, her desire will be on fire.

3) Pleasure two body parts at the same time

After planting your lips lightly against hers, coax her tongue gently into yours. Gradually make your kiss more urgent by licking and then sucking the tip of her tongue. This suggests a primal kind of passion women love just as much as men.
While you’re thrilling her with your mouth, slowly move one hand down to her groin and cover her hot bits with your palm. As she gets more moist, build up to coarser, faster, tighter finger play. The duet of sensations above and bellow the belt will be ultra-pleasurable.

4) Lick her cut lines

Lots of women love it when a man teases the sensitive areas we call cut lines- the creases that separate a girl’s thighs from her torso. But most men don’t realize what intense erogenous zones they are. The ultimate take-her-prisoner move: while she’s on her back, scoot down so you can nibble and lick along one line, then the other. Soft touches like these warm up the skin and awaken the nerves, so you get her ready for more direct stimulation later. Boost her bliss even further by gliding your tongue along each crease while her knees are bent and her legs are spread slightly. This position will make her feel more vulnerable, magnifying every sensation your mouth makes.

5) A just-the-tip tease

Before she soaks up the entire bedding, go ahead and start licking her now more-than-eager vagina (its intense throbbing will demonstrate the sky high state of arousal you have brought her into). Form an upside-down V with your index and middle fingers and place it over her vaginal lips, as if framing them, and start licking inside. You can widen and constrict your fingers depending on exactly where you want her to feel your mouth. Plus, the feel of your hand on her labia increases her pleasure.

6) 69… but sideways

Women don’t want oral sex to be all about them (we’re generous like that!), so if you hint at trying 69, she’ll be more than happy to follow your lead. You already know the standard 69- she lying on top of you while pleasing each other orally- is smoking hot. What you may not be aware of is that it can be difficult for a woman to position herself at the angle that feels awesome for you but doesn’t result in muscle strains for her.
So try this 69 spin: you and your partner lie on your sides, your face by her pelvis and vice versa, each of you bending one knee so you form a triangle-like frame around your private parts. This gives you better access to her V yone, so you can pleasure her for a longer period of time as well as see her facial expressions and watch how blissed out she is.

Have a sexy week,

Gabrielle Moore

P.S. Giving her an oral orgasm will help relax her body and actually prime her for another orgasm later in your sack session.

Many women find themselves suffering from a lack of confidence when the topic of oral sex comes up, worried about how they look, feel, taste or smell when their partner goes down. If your lover is having a difficult time feeling good about her precious parts, she might benefit from a bit of primping and preening… but there are so many options! What’s best for her?

Hair Removal

From a full bush to bare skin, and every amount of curly hair in between, women have a vast variety of ways they can tend, maintain or beautify their pubic hair. Most options come with some level of pain or discomfort, so not all women will be interested. Don’t pressure her if she doesn’t care about her hair! It is perfectly natural for a woman to have body hair… don’t forget it.

• Shaving and Creams: if she shaves regularly and enjoys it as a beauty ritual, you may want to invest in a non-disposable safety razor. Get a high quality, natural shaving cream or lotion that will leave her skin feeling smooth and soft, and something antibacterial (and sweet smelling) like lavender to help prevent irritation. Suds up together and teach your partner how to shave you, then turn the tables and spend time shaving her. Be careful down there! Spend at least one or two shaving sessions just watching each others technique.
• Waxing/Sugaring: Both waxing and sugaring use a liquid substance, placed flush on the skin (often with some kind of fabric on the outside layer), which cools and is then pulled away, tearing the hair roots from their follicles. Some women find it incredibly painful and others can tolerate it as a minor discomfort, depending on the characteristics of their hair. This method lasts a lot longer, but isn’t quite as sexy an experience to share, unless she’s into pain.
• Threading and Depilation Devices: Similar to waxing, threading pulls hairs out by the root, but only a few at a time. A skilled practitioner can be much more efficient at threading than with a pair of tweezers. Depilation devices perform this same function at home, using motors and a textured “razor” style head to pull hair from the root with spot-application.
• Laser Hair Removal: The next solution for the dedicated, laser hair removal is for those who don’t want to worry about ever shaving, waxing or ingrown hairs again. It can take a great deal of time to cover any significant area, and it is definitely pricey, but for those who are absolutely sure they won’t ever want to see that hair again, it can be a great treat.

For most women, removing some of the hair from the lower lips can greatly improve sensation and lubrication, but many don’t feel comfortable removing all their hair. Leaving a small bush on top, or the now infamous “landing strip” can be a great compromise. Don’t pressure her, but if you are going to discuss it, talk up the sensory benefits rather than your personal preferences. She wants to know what’s in it for her!

Body Art

Decorating the body is the next step after grooming for quite a few women, so it is no surprise that this urge often extends to their genitals. If you want to play with body art in the bedroom, try out these artistic endeavors.

• Body Paint/Henna: Be sure to use non-toxic varieties. If you don’t care how long the paint lasts, try some edible body paints to brush on and lick right off!
• Airbrushing/Tattoos: Temporary or permanent tattooing can be a wonderful way to dress up the body and personalize it. Vulva tattoos are definitely painful, over such a sensitive area! Whether you are considering something permanent, or just looking for a fancy way to dress up the view, airbrushed tattoos can make a lovely addition to any body. They are great for test-driving tattoo designs before taking the plunge.
• Vajazzling is “The act of applying glitter and jewels to a woman’s bikini area for aesthetic purposes.“ Many women find this to be an incredibly erotic procedure which helps them to feel more confident in their naked bits! It is a great reason to encourage a bit of shared shaving, so long as you’re careful not to get glitter in your mouth when you finally stop admiring her beauty and go down.
• Body Jewelery: Again, either temporary or permanent, genital jewelery is an incredibly intimate gift to give! From wearable clit-clips and clamps to permanent hood or labia rings, there are dozens of different ways to dress of a vulva with extra dangly bits. If you are interested in permanent genital jewelery, visit a piercing specialist to talk about the details. Costume jewelery for vulvas is available at most sex toy shops online.

Get pretty and get down!