It’s a sexy scene that most men spend far too long just dreaming about, having a woman ready and willing to take the lead and get on top. What will it take to get your wife riding with her hands on the reins? A few simple moves and she’ll be grinding her way to the finish line!
Talk Her Up
The first step to getting her up there where you can get a good look at her is to convince her! If she’s shy about her body, devote each and every day to making her feel awesome about her body. What does she love about her body – her hips, her breasts, her face, her hair, her thighs, or her eyes? Talk about how beautiful she is and how you want to be able to watch her in pleasure, see her in ecstasy, touch her breasts, lock onto her eyes. Give her a reason to want to be so captured by your gaze!
Women who don’t get on top because they are shy are likely to already have the inclination in them somewhere. Try getting her used to the idea by getting into positions with her “on top” before you get your clothes off and hop into bed together. Pull her onto your lap when you’re sitting on the couch so she can get a feel for the power she has gazing down at you. Pull her into you as you lean against a wall or the kitchen counter and place your feet firmly between her legs as you lean back, giving her the chance to “straddle” you while standing up. Get her comfortable in these positions while she still has all her clothes on, as it will help to make a smooth transition when you make it to the bedroom.
Get Her Close
For some women, it isn’t so much a lack of confidence but simply a lack of desire that prevents her from taking the reins. To be quite honest, some women just don’t like being on top all that much. It isn’t that the positions aren’t enjoyable, just that they happen to be a lot of work! You know how much work it takes to be on top, because you do it all the time, but most women aren’t used to this kind of exertion during sex. Typical heterosexual intercourse involves a masculine assertion and exertion of energy with feminine receptiveness. Changing this up can be exhausting for someone who isn’t used to it.
If she is ambivalent towards the idea, you are going to have to take the lead, at least in expressing your desire. Try introducing the idea at different times during lovemaking. For best results, ensure she is more than adequately warmed up through manual and oral stimulation, because when she is turned on, she is much more likely to be receptive to your ideas about what to do next.
You may want to begin intercourse first and try to wear yourself out a bit first, so she needs less time on top before you both reach orgasm, but don’t rely on positions that require her to support you with her legs or keep her body in a stationary exertion position for any length of time. If you wear her out before you start, she’ll be less interested in doing more work when you’re ready to take the next step. Alternatively, you can try beginning intercourse with her on top, so she has a chance to find the right spots and control her pleasure more precisely. In this case, you can lay back and rest while she exerts herself, and when she has an orgasm or gets close enough, you can switch up the dynamic and take over the exertion to finish you both off right.
Make it Easy
The most important aspect to getting her up on top is making it easy for both of you. If she has minimal lower body strength or stamina, these are things you can focus on for improvement, but you can also find simple aids to make exertion easier. A sex swing, something hanging from the bed’s banister, or even just the back of a couch can make it easier for her to move around on top by supplementing her exertion with her upper body strength. Try out several positions so she can find one that really fits for both of you. And don’t just roll off of her and expect her to climb on top! Give her the encouragement she needs to feel sexy and satisfied as she gets into position and rides off into the sunset…