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Come On Baby Light Her Fire: 4 Facts to Help Increase Her Libido

Increasing Female Libido

Come On Baby Light Her Fire: 4 Facts to Help Increase Her Libido

Come On Baby Light Her Fire: 4 Facts to Help Increase Her Libido

You may or may not know this but low sexual desire is the most commonly reported sexual dysfunction among women. When women are experiencing a decrease in their libido it can be frustrating for her and for her partner and can wreak havoc on a relationship. It is normal for a person’s sex drive to ebb and flow over the course of their life, however if a once rocking sex life suddenly disappears or even significantly slacks off it can leave a couple confused and trying to find a way to get back in the groove.

Trying to Put the Pieces Together

Low sexual desire among women is a puzzler. So many factors can contribute to it yet there is still so much we don’t know about it. Trying to sort it all out and overcome it so you can return to a life of sexual pleasure and satisfaction can seem like an overwhelming task, but in the end it is worth it.  Being sexual is a big part of life and it is natural to feel discouraged when things are off kilter.

If your sweetie is having issues with decreased libido there are some things you can do to help her recover that lost loving feeling.

Is There a Doctor in the House?

Start with a visit to the doctor. Many sexual dysfunctions including low sexual desire are caused by medical issues. Sexual side effects of medication are also common. Many times if the medical condition is treated, the sexual dysfunction resolves itself. It is also important to remember that sexual dysfunctions themselves can be a symptom of an underlying medical condition. In any case, a visit to the doctor for a complete medical check-up is the first step to finding and fixing the problem.

Do a Relationship Check

For many women, sexual desire goes right out the window when they are unhappy in their relationship. Ask yourself if you have been as attentive as you should be. Relationships are like a plant. They are living things that need to be nurtured continuously if they are to grow and thrive. Is your relationship blooming or dying on the vine? So often couples get caught up in the day to day grind of living and responsibilities and they unintentionally let their relationship grow stale.

Talk About It

Communication is the key to every part of a relationship and sex is no different. Do not let low sexual desire or any sexual issue go unaddressed. It will not just go away if you don’t acknowledge it. Tell your partner that you are concerned about what is happening or not happening in the bedroom and reassure her that you want to work on the problem together. There is no shame in having a decreased libido but many women let it affect their self-esteem. When you do bring up the subject, make sure you do it on neutral ground. Please do not do it in the bedroom right after a failed sexual encounter. That is the worst possible time and place. Instead try making her a nice breakfast on a weekend when neither of you has to work and calmly and lovingly bring up the subject. Don’t try to be a mind reader and guess at what she is thinking or feeling. Ask her how she feels.

The Race is Won by Those who Keep Running

Getting back to where you were or where you would like to be when it comes to sex is a marathon not a sprint. Someone’s libido does not vanish overnight and it doesn’t come back overnight.

An important thing you can do when one partner is having libido issues it to actually not try to have sex. That may sound like it defeats to the purpose but it can be very helpful. It takes the pressure off. Focus instead on other forms of intimacy such as holding each other, spooning in bed, take a bath together and kissing. Show her that you are satisfied with that for now and that will do wonders in helping her relax. When the pressure is decreased and she is not so concerned that she is failing you with every attempted sexual encounter, it gives you both time to work through any issues that may be contributing to the problem. At the same time it still makes her feel loved and desired.

Patience and persistence are important tools for overcoming low sexual desire. Keep this in mind as you work toward reclaiming the sexual part of your relationship.

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  1. Frank,

    October 31, 2012 at 5:28 am

    I wish you would know how many relationships you have saved? keep it up,You are God sent.

  2. k

    October 31, 2012 at 12:29 pm

    thing is, this asks a lot of the person whose sexual needs are going neglected. it’s asking that the sexually neglected, as well as doing all the work sexually to start with, have to then coax someone who says they love them and want nobody else into desiring them physically. i’ve never ever witnessed this done by the women i’ve met who are feeling sexually neglected to their men. where is the equality? i don’t see it

  3. Shari

    November 1, 2012 at 6:25 am

    k, you say that you don’t see the equality but I think you just aren’t looking in the right place. For years me and my girlfriends get with a guy and make an effort to take an interest in all of HIS interests; Nascar, motorcycles, sports of all kinds, computer games, hiking, fishing, etc.

    However, few guys ever make any effort at all to take an interest in any of our interests; stage plays, dancing, running, photography, books, music, etc.

    Women don’t expect a man to suddenly love shopping but it would be nice if our man took some kind of an interest in doing something WE want to do. Sometimes it feels like if we don’t do the things that the guy wants to do the only time he would be around is when he wants sex. This sort of thing doesn’t make a woman feel like having a lot of sex.

    My point is that both sides of the couple needs to put forth an effort to spend time together. Take an interest in what the other is interested in. Pay attention to where the other person might need help and do what you can to help and support them in their challenges.

    If a woman feels that her man is involved in the relationship, loves and supports her outside the bedroom she is way more likely to have an interest in having sex.

  4. nasser

    May 8, 2013 at 8:39 am

    thank you very much.

  5. Craig

    November 30, 2013 at 9:12 pm

    Spot on Gabrielle. We’re a married couple of 42 yrs, and had to find a way overcome a ‘lost libido’ issue between us. We first recognized the problem existed, opened up and talked about it, and discussed possible fixes. Our solution was a little unconventional, but the excitement is back.

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