Men always ask me how female attraction works. Why can’t they get a woman’s attention by being nice to her? Are women indifferent to good men out there and prefer to go nude with jerks? And my answer is no. You don’t have to be rude or aggressive towards a woman in order to get her (sexual) attention. On the contrary – women are much more in control of their lives and sexuality nowadays, and many of them will not tolerate being mistreated. The jackpot is actually a mix between nice and… dominant.
You can be a good man and a dominant man. And trust me, this combination makes you irresistible to your woman, leading to hotter than ever sessions in the bedroom.
Why do women like dominance? Well, first of all, it’s a biological instinct: at the beginning of human evolution, women didn’t have much to say in who they were mating with. Men had total control and the goal was to procreate. And second of all, ironically, the modern woman craves that same pleasure of abandonment. The reason is purely cultural: more and more women are taking control of their day to day lives, they are making more money than ever, they have loads of responsibilities and they are fierce bosses. So it’s natural to want to let go in the bedroom. To want a confident man who knows exactly what he’s doing – which makes them more relaxed and free to enjoy total pleasure.
And dominance is even more effective when it’s subtle because it immediately triggers long-lasting attraction and even emotional connection. Being more sexually dominant does not always imply handcuffs and whiplash (although it can be very thrilling), it’s often about confident gestures and attitude. Because it makes her give in, relax and enjoy the moment.
No matter how bossy, every woman loves confident men. It just takes the pressure off, not only in day to day life but also in the bedroom. And confidence has a lot to do with a dominant attitude. Here are my favorite ways of letting your woman know that you’re in control… which helps you intensify her sexual emotions.
Start by dominating her brain
No, I’m not talking about demonstrating you’re smarter than her. I just want you to demonstrate your mental power. This has nothing to do with how fit or tall or handsome you are. Mental power may be the reason why an average guy gets to date a gorgeous supermodel – it just instantly makes you sexier and more masculine.
Subtly lead the conversation by being the one who asks questions. Start with random, “nice” questions and then suddenly move into the erotic territory by asking something like: “So what turned you on today?”. This will catch her with her guard down – she will feel submissive and turned on by your dominance.
Introduce foreplay dominance
Don’t be that man who doesn’t care about foreplay if you want to make your woman so wet that she begs for you to have your way with her. It’s no secret that women like foreplay, and why wouldn’t they? Sexual play is fun and intense and makes her orgasms stronger. It can be equally as fun for you if you change your perspective: imagine you’re the big lion in the room and you have nothing to fear. You can do as you please, without the fear of being judged or not being enough. As long as you make sure she’s enjoying it, you can let go of any inhibition.
Small but powerful gestures like grabbing her neck while kissing her deeply or pulling her closer with one arm will put you in charge… and she’ll love it.
Introduce “strictly forbidden” elements
Remember, you make the rules, so you decide what’s strictly forbidden during your hot sessions. Bans will make sex hotter and intensify her arousal, so tell her, for example, that she’s not allowed to speak or even make a sound. When she starts to moan, “punish” her by covering her mouth with your right hand. This will make her give in to pleasure completely.
Keep an open mind
Even if you’re the one in charge, at some point it will get boring and uninteresting to only recreate your own fantasies. Indulging in her erotic scenarios while maintaining your dominant attitude is the sexiest thing you could do for your woman. As a dominant male, your job now is to provide a safe space for your submissive woman to really let her imagination go wild. Challenge her to surprise you and NEVER make fun of her fantasies or fetishes.
P.S.: Don’t ever forget that even the “nicest” women love a dominant male who is able to reassure them during hot sessions. No matter your looks or level of experience, you can show your sexual power through subtle gestures that put you in charge. And if you want to learn more about what those gestures trigger in your woman’s brain, check out this interesting video which is key to becoming more confident with your woman.