“One whiff of him and her libido went first-grader on her: hand raised, butt dancing in the chair as her hormones screamed, “Pick me! Pick me!” – Coreene Callahan
She usually wants to climb you like a tree, but all of a sudden, meh. Before you turn her over to the Berman sisters, consider these common desire-killing culprits.
- Morning chaos. Her boss’s 9 a.m. status meetings… a full load of papers to file before noon… a pre-work doctor’s appointment… knowing she has a jam-packed morning to contend with all make her worried and wired the night before – and that shrinks her desire. When a woman is stressed, her body pumps out the hormone cortisol in response to the flood of anxiety. And managing stress is a more pressing demand on her system that getting turned on. The night before a crazy a.m., invite her to write a to-do list for the next day to give her a sense of control and order. And if at all possible, bump up booty a few hours to an earlier time in the evening, before she’s too racked with tension to enjoy it.
- Spinning class. A cycling session can leave her with more than just jelly legs. A recent study from The Journal of Sexual Medicine found that female cyclists who rode with their handlebars lower than the seat developed diminished sensation where it counts. When the handlebars are positioned below the level of the seat, you’re forced to lean forward, so that can put pressure on the pelvic floor. Early signs of excess pressure are tingling and numbness, and over time, the vagina can become less responsive sexually. Whether she pedals in the gym or on the pavement, make sure her handlebars are level with her seat, which should be wide without any cutouts. Her bike has the narrow, pointy kind? Hit up a bike shop for one that’s female anatomy-friendly.
- Taking a drag. Smoking is a vasoconstrictor, meaning it reduces blood flow throughout the body, including the blood that heads to our private parts when we are in the mood. Without that rush of blood, a woman won’t lubricate as much and her odds of having an orgasm may go down dramatically. She might think she has a good reason for needing that cigarette, but I doubt it’s worth losing an O over.
- That fourth drink. You know that time she felt insanely hot and bothered after a few too many beers… then passed out cold during the cab ride home? A bellini or two can be a libido booster, sure, but there’s a tricky tipping point that sets the opposite effect in motion. A small amount of alcohol enhances blood flow and decreases inhibition, both of which make a woman feel more aroused. But alcohol is a depressant, so too much eventually slows down her responses and puts her brain and body in a fog. To keep herself lightly buzzed without losing her lady-bones, help her experiment to find her drink threshold – or just make sure she sticks to no more than one per hour and a limit of three per night. After that point, alcohol’s downer effect will drain her erotic energy.
- Dehydrating meds. You already know that some meds, such as the Pill and antidepressants, can decrease her sex drive. There’s another drugstore offender: antihistamines. They clear congestion by drying up your nose’s mucous lining, which is why they’re found in cold and allergy formulas. But they can also decrease secretions in the vaginal lining. When your partner is unusually dry, it doesn’t necessarily mean that her body is saying she’s not aroused. Next time she needs to buy allergy pills, get a container of lube too. Problem solved.
Have a loving week,
P.S. As you can see, even certain healthy habits can have mood-busting side effects, so make sure none of these will ruin your partner’s libido.