If you want to move into the spiritual end of things when in bed with your woman, consider learning how to give her a genital massage.
Common as part of tantric sex activities, genital massage is referred to as “yoni massage”. “Yoni” is the Sanskrit word for vagina or loosely defined, “sacred space”. Genital massage, then, is often called “yoni massage”.
Here’s how to give your partner a yoni massage. You don’t need to perform this perfectly. The idea here is to bring your lover pleasure, and if you are being gentle, loving and giving, you’ll also bring her that desired and deserved pleasure.
First, make sure that she is comfortable. Place a large pillow behind her head. Ideally, she should be able to see you and make eye contact with you and also see her genitals.
Because the idea here is complete relaxation for her, make sure she’s completely comfortable. Often, there will be a soft blanket or towel placed under the hips. This will give her some comfort, especially if her legs are drawn up a bit. For her to fully enjoy a yoni massage, she must be totally relaxed and comfortable.
It should be a given that she’ll lie on her back with her genitals exposed. She should have her legs far enough apart that you can easily see her genitals and can have easy access to them.
Starting the Sensual Massage
Once she’s fully comfortable, begin massaging her body. Gently and lightly massage her breasts, her stomach, her legs and her feet. Do this gently and with a soft smile. There’s no need to be talking. This is about her relaxation and too much chatter will distract her from fully relaxing.
When you give a genital massage, you are only giving a massage and expecting nothing in return. That means you might not have the favor returned. This is useful in two ways – you are more likely to focus just on her and her pleasure if you know that your own pleasure isn’t at stake, and it allows her to fully relax knowing this is all about her.
Make solid and meaningful conversation with her as you begin and complete the massage. This isn’t chatter, but a ‘give and take conversation’ as she tells you what feels good. This is a way for the two of you to really connect, so take it seriously and enjoy the process.
It’s also important to know, as you begin the massage, that the goal of genital massage isn’t orgasm. Often that will be the end result, but it’s not a requirement.
Some women will simply soak up the attention and the good sensations without ever coming near orgasm; others will orgasm, perhaps more than once. Much depends on your woman’s personal threshold. Genital massage is often used for women who have a hard time reaching orgasm as it allows them to relax and learn to enjoy the sensations.
The Genital Massage
Now that your woman is relaxed, you can move more fully into the genital part of the massage. Here’s how:
Start by putting some lube on her. You can use some high-quality massage oil, or a lube you get from the drug store. The brand doesn’t matter. Don’t use too much; you just want to lightly lubricate the area. Now gently begin massaging her genital lips.
Watch her reactions. As she enjoys something, do it more and ask her to tell you what feels good. Again, avoid chatter for the sake of chatter, but do let her tell you how she’s feeling and what you can do more of.
After you have gently massaged the lips (even occasionally pinching them together, again lightly), you can move onto massaging the clitoris. This area of the woman’s body is extremely sensitive, so sensitive that most experts agree it’s three to four times more sensitive than the most sensitive part of a man’s anatomy, the glans.
Focus some attention here, but again, be gentle. Your objective here is to give her pleasure, but gentle pleasure. You’re not digging in looking for an orgasm. You’re looking to bring relaxation and pleasure.
Now insert one or two fingers in her and find her G spot. You can lightly massage it, flick it with your finger, or move your finger up and down on it. Continue massaging her outer parts as you do this.
Some women will tolerate a pinky finger in their ‘backdoor’. This, combined with the gentle yoni massage, is intensely pleasurable for some women. Again, let her guide you and be sure to respond appropriately to the clues she gives you.
Though, as we’ve said, the primary goal here isn’t orgasm, many women will find their orgasm during the process of genital massage. If yours does, let her enjoy that orgasm and then gently continue massaging her if she wants. Some women will have multiple orgasms this way, so give her time and space.
Once she has either had orgasm, or you both have relaxed and enjoyed the process, remain close to her. Cuddle or hold her if she wants.
And then pat yourself on the back! Giving a woman a genital massage is as much about her pleasure as your desire to give. Your generosity will be remembered and appreciated. Count on it!