When I talk to the readers of my website and other materials, they all have one resounding message in common: they want to having more sex. Some of them are in great relationships, but just wouldn’t mind having sex more often, and others are in relationships where they’re totally dissatisfied with how much sex they’re having. Then there is everything in between. If you find that you fall somewhere on that scale of dissatisfaction, I’ve got good news for you. I have a week long plan of how to have and give pleasure for 7 whole days. If you’re successful in pulling of this 7 day challenge, you’re sure to be having more sex with your partner, once she sees how amazing it can be with her.
In order to be totally successful in this challenge, you need to be focusing on the emotional, as well as the physical connection you have with your partner. So, everyday you should focus one action on improving your emotional connection with your partner and one action on connecting on a sexual level.
Sexual – Give your partner a full-body massage, complete with massage oil, dimmed lighting, and soft music. Let it end where it ends. She might want to give you a massage in return, she might want to have sex. Or she might just say “thank you.” Don’t have any expectations and don’t ask for anything in return. If something happens, great! If it doesn’t, just enjoy giving pleasure to your partner and leave it at that.
Emotional – Sit and talk for at least 30 minutes, sharing stories and information about your day and how you’re doing. Don’t look at your cell phones, computers, TV or any other distraction during this time.
Sexual – Today is a day to try mutual masturbation. This can be defined in a few different ways. First, you can each use your hands to masturbate the other person (you can finger her and gently massage her clit with your hands and she will jerk you off). You can do this simultaneous or you can take turns (I suggest taking turns so that each person can focus completely on either giving or receiving without any distractions). The other way to mutually masturbate is to touch yourselves while you watch each other. This can be really sexy and a huge turn on for some couples.
Emotional – Ask your partner to invite you to share one of her favorite activities with you. It should be something that you don’t usually do together, but that it important to her.
Sexual – Ask your partner to be the boss in the bedroom tonight. She gets to decide what you do and how you do it. Pay attention! This is a great opportunity to learn more about what she likes and how she likes to be touched.
Emotional – Take your partner to do one of your favorite activities so that you can experience something you love with her.
Sexual – Have sex somewhere in the house that is NOT your bed. It can be on the dresser in your bedroom or on the floor… or you can get wild and do it in another room all together!
Emotional – Commit to eating every meal together today. Have breakfast together in the morning (no screens, no newspapers), try to have lunch together if it’s possible and then again at night for dinner.
Sexual – Try out some dirty talk. You can either try talking dirty to each other while you’re doing foreplay or having sex, or you can try sharing some personal fantasies that really get you turned on. This will help increase communication and comfort around sex, which is really important to a healthy relationship!
Emotional – Go out on a date. This time she picks the place and makes the plan.
Sexual – Take a shower together. The act of washing each other and being wet and naked is VERY erotic for most people. Have fun, but do it without any expectations of where it will lead. No pressure.
Emotional – This time it’s your turn to pick the date night and plan it out.
Sexual – This is the final day, you’ve made it! Today it’s all about oral sex. Get your partner to be specific about what she likes (and doesn’t like!). Oral sex is the ultimate gift you can gift in the bedroom.
Emotional – Spend an hour cuddling together. You can do this on the couch or in bed, but it should be strictly cuddling, no sex. Intimacy is about a lot more than sex!