No doubt about it: Fast, hot, rip-your-clothes-off sex can add plenty of excitement to a relationship. But when it comes to overall coupled-up bliss, slow, sweet, sensual nights in bed have the biggest impact. These sexperiences capitalize on the power of bonding hormones to make you both feel more physically and emotionally intertwined. So try the following 15 (scientifically proven!) moves to max out on lovey-dovey feelings.
Try a Tender Touch
Often when we’re having sex, it’s passionate grasping, which is delightful, but switching up the intensity of our touch can create new sensations that enhance the romantic bond. During intercourse, try caressing your mate softly, running your hands and fingertips over their skin to stimulate nerve cells that respond to light touch.
…IN SURPRISING SPOTS
Roaming over unexpected areas of each other’s bodies – your faces, jawlines, collarbones, inner thighs or legs – signals that you’re enjoying every inch of one another, not just the sex. Use your hand as a magic wand of exploration. If it wants to go somewhere it typically wouldn’t, go there anyway.
The power of touch is immense, and Silent Seduction, a new program by my friend Brett, taps into it and offers you a stealthy way of seducing women. Don’t think pickup lines or anything, but a real technique with real results, that will change the sexual dynamic between you and the woman you’re with, even if she’s your partner for years and years or a beauty you’ve just met and are trying to get into bed. NOTE: This program was NOT created by me.
Have a Tantric Kiss
During positions in which you’re face-to-face, bring your lips in super-close so that you’re almost (but not quite) kissing, then inhale when your partner exhales. The sensation that you’re almost breathing for each other is extremely potent and quite erotic.
Use Your Words
Speaking up as the action intensifies can boost the happy chemicals serotonin and dopamine in your brain. Here are three intimate AF ways to express yourself.
WHISPER SWEET THINGS
Murmuring to bae prompts an automatic bodily response that can feel like arousing tingling down their neck. Use the word you (as in, ‘You turn me on so much’) to let your SO know you’re zoned in on them. Bonus: research suggests they’re likely to follow your steamy instructions if you whisper in their right ear.
DRAW OUT THE DETAILS
As you’re making love, go out of your way to express your reaction audibly to every good touch and sight. It doesn’t even have to be a sexual reference; try flattering phrases like ‘I love the way your skin feels’ or ‘I like how you curve right here’. When you let your partner know what you see as special about them, it builds your bond.
MAKE MOANS MEANINGFUL
People love hearing their own names. It lets us know that we matter, which may seem silly, but the subconscious thrives on recognition. Moan your lover’s name whenever the sex feels amaze. Or as you’re about to orgasm, call out their name (‘Oh, yes, X…’) to experience a powerful emotional connection as you climax.
Keep Your Eyes Up
As you’re going down on your partner, look into their eyes with a sexy, steady gaze. Eye contact with a lusty grin can communicate volumes in one look.
Be Open to Receiving
All too often, people – and especially men – enter sex with the expectation that they need to be the giver throughout the session. But allowing yourself to receive pleasure can help you feel more love and attention from your partner. By being vulnerable and letting go of what you think you should be doing, you can accept the full breadth of what your partner is offering you.
3 positions for making sweet love
The Sugar Spoon
As the big spoon, hook your partner’s upper leg back over you. Rub her clitoris with one hand.
WHY IT’S ROMANTIC. Maximum body contact signals ‘You. More, please.’
The Couch Rocker
Sit on the edge of a couch, then have your partner sit on your lap and rock gently while holding you tight.
WHY IT’S ROMANTIC. It’s basically a hug with orgasm potential. And it’s easy to make out face-to-face.
The Figure 8
While your partner lies on her back with her knees raised and bent, and a pillow under her butt, you can grind against her in slow circles.
WHY IT’S ROMANTIC. The friction gives you both time to build up to an intense climax.