I couldn’t cover the broad subject of tantric sex in just one article, so here’s the second part of my tantric sensual journey so that you truly get close to your partner this holiday season. Check all these tips out and try them when mood hits.
Utilize all senses during kissing.
Kissing in tantric sex isn’t just about the act itself — it’s important to engage all of your senses.
Sight: As you are able, look at your partner’s lips, their face, their eyes. What do they look like to you? What about them makes you smile and feel loving? Keep your eyes open while kissing, at least in the beginning.
Smell: I recommend focusing on your partner’s pheromones, rather than artificial smells like perfume. The way your partner’s breath smells is just as important as the way their body and hair smells. If you really let the pheromones do their job and the chemistry between you two work, the smell of their breath will titillate you!
Taste: Since your senses of taste and smell are connected, try playing with different flavours to enhance your erotic experience. You can both share delicious palette cleansers, like strawberries, blueberries, chocolate, mint, or even chew fennel seeds to spice it up a bit.
Touch: The lips aren’t the only erogenous zone on the face. I encourages exploring your partner’s lips, cheek bones, eyelids, and eyebrows with your hands, lips, tongue, and even your eyelashes. Touching the jaw, lips, or chin while you’re tongue-kissing can also be a huge turn on. This can be done softly, firmly, or some also like this done roughly while kissing.
Sound: We know it’s important to be vocal during sex, but that extends to kissing, too. Listen to the feedback your partner gives you when you kiss them (and make sure to give feedback of your own). Focusing on the sensual sounds you make while kissing can propel you to another level of arousal entirely.
By exploring kink and BDSM, you can channel an open-mindedness that allows for the connections tantra is all about. When you’re putting yourself in a vulnerable position, you’re putting yourself in a position to be cracked open, which is such a huge part of tantra. Whether that means you’re blindfolded and waiting for a whip to make contact with your bum, or you’re simply sharing your secret fetishes, you can really tap into tantric sex principles, including making eye contact and being aware of your breath. Once you learn how to make yourself vulnerable to your partner, that’s where transformation happens.
Talk during sex.
When it comes to kissing, touching, and sex, it’s all about the connection — and one of the best ways to foster this connection is to talk to your partner while you’re doing all of these things.
Rather than simply guessing that a moan during oral sex means your partner enjoys that technique, or being worried that silence means they’re bored, step up your tantric sex game and actually talk about what you enjoy while you’re enjoying it. Moaning is great, but try to use your words to verbalise exactly what you like about your partner’s technique and what’s happening in the moment. When you discuss your pleasure with your partner and give her praise and appreciation, number one it makes them want to do it more, number two it builds intimacy and trust.
Synchronize your breathing.
Stop what you’re doing and take 10 deep, long breaths. Feel better? I thought so. I recommend taking 10 deep breaths before initiating touch with your partner to ground yourself. Once things start to get sexy, you can take your tantric breathing exercises a step further by synchronizing your breaths with your partner. These breathing practices are best done when facing your partner, so try a face-to-face sex position like Lotus, and then look into each other’s eyes and follow each other’s breaths until they match. When you harmonize your breath, this allows for this juicy energetic connection to occur, specifically if you’re sitting genital to genital.
P.S. For more tips on how to enrich your lovemaking this holiday, check out my program on the matter, Energy Orgasms.