Sexual energies tend to move in cycles, for both men and women. Sometimes you may find that an excess of sexual energy send you barreling forward headfirst into intercourse so quickly that you lose yourself in the moment and it’s over before it’s even begun. Other times, you may struggle to maintain arousal because of a lack of sexual energy.
Not only do the fluctuations in your sexual energy affect your ability to be a reliable sexual partner, but they can have a number of effects on the rest of your life that leave you feeling ill and out of sorts. When you can recognize the symptoms of excess or diminished energy, you can remedy the situation with exercises for harnessing and channeling your libido.
Having an excess of sexual energy can be just as destructive to a marriage as not having enough. It is often during these times of excess that we give in to temptations that might cross boundaries like using pornography or seeking out new stimulus in other ways. Do you find yourself constantly thinking about sex, seeking out erotic stories and images, and masturbating to the point of distraction.
What are the symptoms of an overactive libido?
- Pent up energy, an inability to keep still, lack of mental focus
- High blood pressure, hot flashes, cold extremities due to poor circulation
- Stiffness in the joints, lack of flexibility
- Swelling in the ankles, poor digestive and metabolic functioning
- Heavy hair, dull fingernails,
- Infertility and lack of sexual potency (or on the flip-side, constant arousal)
- Poor personal relationships and lack of connection, social anxiety, inhibitions and lack of personal and creative self-expression.
A lack of sexual energy not only means you are unlikely to perform, but also are unlikely to even initiate sex, leaving your lover feeling not only unfulfilled, but completely rejected!
What are the symptoms of an under-active libido?
- Aversion to physical pleasure, over-sensitive skin
- Depression and low self-esteem, emotional instability, irritability, over-sensitivity
- Low blood pressure, sudden fevers and hot flushes
- Weak or brittle bones, hair and nails due to vitamin deficiencies or anemia
- Sleep cycle problems, insomnia, chronic fatigue
- Swollen extremities, water retention
- Premature ejaculation, premature aging, muscle weakness
The steps to regulating your sexual energy can be super simple! Here are a few suggestions to get you started out on the path to a sea of smooth sexual sailing:
- Plug the Leaks:Don’t let out vital energy on things you don’t love, don’t care about, don’t want to be doing. Engage in the kind of sex that gets you passionate. Be creative. Spend your life and your time doing the work that calls to you and the play that makes your heart sing. Explore your kinks and sexual interests. Forcing yourself to do things that your body and spirit don’t wish to do only causes you to deplete your vital energy even faster than hard work normally would, leaving little left for fun and games with your lover.
If you have an excess of sexual energy, you can expend that energy in ways that aren’t overtly sexual – go to the beach and enjoy some kind of extreme, heart-racing physical activity; go for a run or a hike up a mountain; tackle a new vocational challenge; begin a new artistic or otherwise creative project. Spend your energy where it deserves to be spent.
- Fill Up:Do things that enhance your vital energy. What kinds of things make you feel energized? Many people find music and dancing to be incredibly revitalizing. Other people enjoy a hearty laugh, deep breathing, singing, poetry or other great literature, the scent of fresh flowers, a hearty meal with loved ones, a glass of wine and good chocolate, a walk in the sand, a prayer of gratitude… whatever it is that makes your heart beat a little bit faster and the sun seem to shine just a little bit brighter.
- Break Down the Blocks:Massage is a great way to break down walls built up against intimacy and allows relaxation to soothe the body into a state of balance and desire.
- Get Grounded:Put your bare feet on the earth. New scientific discoveries suggest that this simple act can be the most balancing thing a human can do on a daily basis, leveling your sexual energies, healing emotional and physical imbalances and creating a sense of connection with the earth.
- Balance:Energy, in general, is polar – balanced between negative and positive, plus all that is neutral in the center. When we engage in intercourse, we create friction between the two poles, which causes a build up of energy that is released through orgasm. When we have too much friction, whether through physical actions or fantasies, the energy builds up too quickly! Balance can be learned through breathing and meditative exercises, and enhanced by caring for your physical and emotional health.