Early ejaculation, premature ejaculation, and rapid ejaculation all describe the problem of not having the amount of control you desire over your ejaculation. You may want to be able to delay ejaculation so that you can prolong intercourse or other sex play that requires an erection. It can be frustrating not to have control of the timing of your ejaculation. Luckily, you can rely on others’ experience and find a way to sort this out once and for all. Thanks to my friend David Messent’s 3 Steps Stamina program, I have found this incredible shortcut to every man’s dream.
Early ejaculation affects a lot of men at some point or other in their lives. It is very common in young men who are just beginning to explore their sexuality. It can also happen with men of any age, particularly if you have not had much sex recently, if you have performance anxiety, or if you are in some way challenged by your relationship dynamics. Fortunately, lack of ejaculatory control is rarely the result of a physiological problem.
Ways to Improve Ejaculatory Control
Ejaculation control is a skill that can be learned. Mastery over your ejaculation is best gained by experimenting while self-pleasuring. Start by masturbating until you are close to orgasm. Carefully notice the sensations that tell you your orgasm is approaching. When you can identify these sensations, you know when you need to distract yourself or stop the stimulation if you want to delay orgasm. After you have mastered deciding when and when not to orgasm during masturbation, you can begin experimenting with a partner. The challenge then is to assert yourself in whatever way you need to control the stimulation you are receiving.
There are two simple ways to decrease your arousal when you feel orgasm may be approaching, self-distraction and the stop-and-start technique. In self-distraction, you mentally distract yourself from the pleasurable sensations. You can think of things that have a neutralizing effect on your arousal, keeping it in a holding pattern, or that actually have a counter-effect and decrease your arousal. This works to delay ejaculation for some. The stop-and-start technique involves stopping any genital stimulation before you reach the point of ejaculatory inevitability, taking a break and resuming stimulation until you approach that point again.
Other methods include the squeeze technique, wherein you squeeze the penis hard just below the glans for twenty to thirty seconds just before you feel you are about to come. Do this several times before you finally let yourself ejaculate. Doing pelvic floor exercises can also help significantly with ejaculatory control. If your PC muscle gets strong enough, you should be able to control ejaculation by simply squeezing it just before the point of no return. Yet another method is to desensitize your penis with the use of thicker condoms, two condoms, or desensitizing cream. The creams will also affect your lover, so make sure she is okay with that.
If you also have problems with getting and maintaining an erection…
Erectile difficulty is sometimes the result of a medical condition or aging, but the problem can also be psychological or interpersonal. Knowing the cause will help in assessing what kind of treatment may help. To figure this out, ask yourself whether the erectile difficulty happens primarily with a lover or if it also occurs during self-pleasuring. If everything works fine when you are self-pleasuring, then chances are the cause is emotional or interpersonal.
Interpersonal difficulties are common. Men often don’t realize when their preconditions for having sex are not met. Most people need to feel comfortable with their partner for their bodies to perform naturally. Your mind might say yes to sex, but your body may not be ready if you do not feel emotionally safe. Lack of erection can be a sign that your mind and your emotions are in conflict. If you are having difficulties in your relationship, particularly with intimacy, you may want to see a couples’ counselor who specializes in sexuality.
If the erectile difficulty occurs while self-pleasuring, there still could be an emotional cause. You may be unconsciously carrying around some shame about sex or you may have fears of being an inadequate lover. Unfortunately, erectile inconsistency can itself lead to performance anxiety. This anxiety can make getting an erection even more difficult. If you are experiencing this kind of negative spiral, it is important to get support. Stop and talk with your partner about how you feel and what you need. When you become more skilled at meeting your preconditions for sex, your sexual functioning is bound to go more smoothly.
P.S. Don’t believe for a second that sexual performance is an innate attribute. Learn more about how to become the master of your manhood by learning the techniques from my program Last Longer Tonight.