“Blake said that the body was the soul’s prison unless the five senses are fully developed and open. He considered the senses the “windows of the soul”. When sex involves all the senses intensely, it can be like a mystical experience.”- Jim Morrison
You can count your senses on one hand, but there are limitless ways to use them to turn up the bedroom heat. You rely on your senses to help you savor a delicious meal, sniff out a fabulous new fragrance, and feel the quality of a cashmere sweater. But you probably didn’t know you can use these perceptions to enhance your pleasure. Fact is, the more senses you engage, the more amazing sex becomes.
Unfortunately, most of us tale the senses for granted because we use them all day in nonsexual situations. Well, that ends here. I’ve mapped out ways to reap the carnal rewards of sight, smell, touch, taste and sound. Bust them out during foreplay, the main event and beyond for thrilling new tantric sensations.
The human brain only needs three seconds to process images- so arousal can spark in the blink of an eye. Guys rely on visual clues more than women do because your other senses aren’t as nuanced as ours. You’re also left-brain oriented, so you’re more stimulated by shapes. Make the most of your partner’s immediate sense with these eye-popping tricks:
• Before you do something to her (sucking her finger, stroking her scalp), do it to yourself. Not only are you priming yourself for pleasure, you’re creating anticipation for her.
• Focus intently on her body and down-there area. Then look up and give her a knowing smile. This broadcasts that you’re fully absorbed with her body- and feeds her ego, making her de-stress about the imperfections or irregularities of her body.
• No matter the position, lock eyes with her. If you’re entering her from behind, have her turn to meet your gaze mid-thrust and sweeten the visual pot. It sends the message that you’re really into her and keeps your arousal high because your partner is mirroring her desire back at you.
Smell mainlines into the area of the brain that controls memories. That’s why we can recall smells with 65 percent accuracy after a year, while visual recall of photos sinks to 50 percent after three months. Keep this sense up to snuff by treating each other to new scents in unexpected places.
• Pick a scent that relates to a hot memory- light a pine candle in honor of that romantic night you spent together in the woods or a tropical jasmine scent to evoke that steamy vacation in the tropics. Speaking of candles, be sure to invest in quality wicks. Bonus tip: soy-based candles release a purer aroma than those made from wax.
• Wear the same scent each time you have sex with your partner for the next 30 days and have her do the same. By month’s end, you’ll both associate these perfumes with passion.
• According to a study from the University of Pennsylvania, we’re able to smell better the more we sniff. Alternate your breathing by taking short inhalations of the smells around you- the deliciousness of her skin, the fine scent of her hair- followed by long, slow ones. This makes the scent linger longer in your mind.
Studies show that massages, either erotic, or quasi non-sexual, reduce stress and transmits feel-good vibes all over your body, creating a stronger sense of closeness and emotional connection.
• Have her straddle you during sex. With legs interlocked and arms embraced, you’ll cover more tactile territory.
• To sharpen your tactile abilities, try closing your eyes and writing with your non-dominant hand or feeling the nubby texture of an orange. Take your newfound abilities to bed and treat her to a long session of “finger-mapping”.
• The more subtle a touch, the better, studies show. So caress her body over her clothes. The feel of your fingers and palm together with the softness of the fabrics will create extra arousal for your partner.
The human tongue has 10,000 taste buds, and stimulating those bumps sends signals to the brain’s pleasure center. Taste and sex go hand in hand, since they activate the part of the nervous system that controls relaxation.
• Keep your taste buds alert by experimenting with new flavors. There are amazing exotic fruits that many people have never tried- star fruit, persimmon, pomegranates. Not only are they fleshier and more evocative of sex, but they’ll stain your lips an alluring reddish hue.
• Nibble on each other’s lips and ears. Note the differences between body parts: how the inside of the arm is salty and the small of the back is sweeter.
• Research out of the University of Wisconsin found that taste buds alone do not determine what something tastes like; expectation plays a big role. So imagine that you’re sucking on your favorite ice-cream during oral sex and she’ll taste even more delicious.
With aural sex, less is more. Our brains like to analyze sounds, which can be distracting in bed.
• Women are turned on by hearing their name. Say her name during sex, varying the pitch, tone and volume.
• Whisper in her left ear. A study from Sam Houston State University found that women are able to recall more than 70 percent of emotional words like “kiss” and “passion” with their left ear, compared to 58 percent with the right. Why? The left ear is controlled by the emotional part of the brain.
• Play music with a steady bass line, which echoes heartbeats and can be highly arousing. Pick songs that you both love, so you won’t be distracted, and keep the volume set at its “sweet spot”: not too loud or soft.
Have a sensual week,
P.S. Intense, soulful sex requires prime concentration. Clue in to the sound of each other’s heartbeats and sighs.