Lots of women have trouble orgasming — and a lot of women can orgasm just fine but take a damn long time to do it. Now, taking a while is nothing for a woman to be embarrassed about — she should take all the time she needs and know that there’s nothing wrong with her if it takes a while to get off — and it’s partly down to the way that women are built. It can take women around 20 minutes to reach peak arousal. For men, on average, it’s rather fast — touch, a thought, something visual can do the trick. Of course it is.
But if you want her to finish faster, whether it’s to sync up with you or because you’ve got things to do and people to see, there are plenty of ways to do it — techniques, products, and general ways to explore. It’s important that you play around with different tips and find what works for you and your partner. Then, the next time you want to give her an orgasm really quickly, but you’re worried it’s going to make you late for work, you’ll be in a great position to fire one out in a hurry.
Here are the different techniques you can use, because there are so many ways to approach it.
Try plenty of foreplay
If her problem is that she’s taking a long time to orgasm during penetration — which isn’t a problem, by the way, she should take all the damn time she needs — you can speed things along by spending more time on foreplay. It not only gets her aroused — it can improve your connection too. Sex play can be just as gratifying as the rest of sex, in fact it can increase anticipation and spontaneity so that arousal and orgasm are improved, while the bonding hormone oxytocin gets released through extended touch. Oxytocin increases your sense of connection and overall wellness.
Go for blended stimulation
One is good, two is better. Seriously though, most women need that clit stimulation, but the intensity of combining it with G-spot stimulation can really get things moving. The G-spot is located two inches inside the vagina, on the topside of the vaginal wall, and has a spongy texture. To find the G-spot, insert two fingers, palm-up, with a ‘come-here’ motion, and press up against the front wall of the vagina. The G-spot responds to direct pressure. Want to try it during sex? Try shallow thrusting or woman on top positions to get the G-spot, then you or your partner can give her clit a hand.
Lube just makes everything better. Lube revolutionizes sex lives and opens up a world of erotic possibilities. And you can go for one with a warming or tingly sensation for extra stimulation. It’s not just if she needs it — lube is totally fun as an addition to any sex experience.
Learn about her body
Want to really get a handle on how to give her an orgasm in hurry? Learn about her body. Every woman is different, and factors like the size and position of her clitoris can have a large impact on how she orgasms. Research has found that women who have a clitoris that sits closer to their vaginal opening have a greater chance of achieving orgasm than women who have a larger distance between these two body parts. The ‘rule of thumb’ states that women with an ideal distance of about one inch (or a thumb’s distance) between their vaginal opening and their clitoris will have a better chance of achieving this form of orgasm.
But everyone is different and there’s no wrong way to be built. Just utilize techniques that work for her specific anatomy.
Try a toy
Vibrators work. For a lot of my patients, they were the first way that they experienced an orgasm — or the only way they still can. Vibrators kind of level the playing field for women in the bedroom. A lot of women really need the consistent stimulation on their clitoris to have the same experience as men have. Adding one in always speeds up the process.
Try a new technique
You may be trying the sex position that works best for you— and there are a lot of sex positions out there. Practice them with your partner — you might find your own secret to a super-fast orgasm.
If you have trouble giving your partner a quick and easy orgasm, know that you’re not alone. Invest some time in finding the right toy, technique, or more about her body and you’ll be speeding things up in no time.
P.S. For more saucy information about how to decipher the mystery of the female orgasm, check out my program on the subject – Orgasmic Addiction.