“Sex is a big question mark. It is something people will talk about forever.” – Catherine Deneuve
Even in the throes of passion, a woman is making surprising observations. You might not know this, but women, just like you guys, spend an inordinate amount of time thinking about sex – so much so that we think about it even while it’s happening (and right beforehand and immediately afterwards). Here are some of the things your girlfriend might be focusing on… behind your back.
If you premeditated the action
Candles, fresh sheets, a hot bath with exactly the type of bath oils you know she likes, condoms: their presence tells her you want your sexual encounters to be as pleasurable (and safe) as possible. You don’t have to break out every accessory on night one, but just knowing you’re stocked up and always ready to go is a turn-on for ever woman. “It’s confusing when a guy invites you to stay over and then doesn’t have condoms – was he really not anticipating this?” asks Jenny.
Your signature moves
It could be a sweet, soft kiss behind the ear, a charming grin you give her as you’re changing positions, or something naughty you do with your… well, the point is, it doesn’t have to be the Most Shocking Sex Act of the Year. Do anything small that she’s never encountered before and she’ll still be ruminating about it when she reaches the retirement home. “Right after I climaxed, my boyfriend runs his fingers down the full length of my back,” says Julia. “I get shivers that extend my pleasure a few extra precious seconds.”
Your body confidence
When you first get nude, she gets a sense of how comfortable you are with your body. Do you arm cover your abs when your shirt comes off or stand up straighter so she can see? Do you walk across the room naked after sex or swaddle yourself with sheets? “I went out with a guy who always kept his t-shirt on during sex”, says Carol. “It was a hot idea, but every time? I hated that he was so worried about showing her belly.” Here’s what a woman is thinking: If you have issues about living inside your own skin, what other issues might you have?
The noise level
Just like with potato chips and presidential debates, moderation is key. Utter silence makes her think you’re praying for it to end, but crazy porno wailing seems kinda disingenuous – what’s with the dramatics? Urgent moaning, loud sighs, whispers instructing her what to do next – all this tells her you’re doing something right. When in doubts, just purr the classics: “Yes”, “More”, “Faster”, and so on. That way, when things do get so hot that you’re brought to wild banshee screams, she’ll know it’s authentic.
The morning after routine
Every morning after sex is the perfect morning. You have slept well and you feel relaxed. The perfect morning after for a woman is with you making sure she has an ideal time. Sneaking out to fix her breakfast in bed usually works nicely. Waking up and cuddling is also good, but don’t go straight to passionate kisses, women are self-conscious about morning breath. Another good idea: a hot bath to start fresh after a dirty… encounter.
Have a nice week,
P.S. A woman also notices how often you decide to initiate sex. Even though she might not be in the mood, she still wants you to initiate it, so that she feels desired.