Anal sex is one sex act plenty of people want – but, despite this, it’s still rarely discussed or understood, and I really don’t get why. Since it’s highly pleasurable when done properly, a bit of backdoor action shouldn’t be overlooked as a great addition to a couple’s sex life, that’s what I always tell my patients when they confide in me they’d love to give it a go but are too afraid of getting hurt. Thinking of trying it with your partner but she’s antsy and not sure? Here are 11 tips that will ensure your anal sex experience together is a good one for both parties involved.
Anal sex is an acquired taste and definitely not for everyone. So, when it comes to bum fun, a no definitely means no, so don’t even try in forcing yourself into your partner’s anus. The most important thing about anal sex, when it comes to the ladies, is that they don’t have to do it to please their partners, they should do it only because they want to explore the experience and see for themselves what the whole thing it about. It’s not for everyone and that’s ok.
- Take it easy
Regardless of how keen you are to try anal sex, it is something that should be taken slowly.
Being relaxed is essential in order for it to be a pleasurable experience for a woman and the back door definitely and certainly isn’t the place to practice your ‘wham, bam, thank you ma’am’ moves.
- Experiment first
Using your fingers or tongue to arouse your partner can be a highly pleasurable way to turn your partner on before the act itself. There are a number of other ways to prepare for anal sex too – sharing warm a bath together with some candles can help release the tension in the pelvic area. You can even take the chance to explore ahead of time whilst bathing, with water itself as a sort of lubricant.
Alternatively, there are a great range of toys on the market which will do the job just as well and can be the perfect way to start experimenting with anal sex. Butt plugs are a great way of experimenting if your partner isn’t ready to take the plunge yet. There are some great beginner plugs to help with the ‘full’ feeling one can get when having something in the back door for the first time.
5. Lube up
The holy grail of enjoyable anal sex. The key thing is relaxation through lots of foreplay, lots of lube, and a sensitive lover who is going to take their time. The key to enjoying anal sex is relaxation and LOTS of lubrication. ‘Going in dry’ will be unpleasant and painful for all involved.
Despite the obvious avoidance of pregnancy, practicing safe anal is as important as using condoms during regular sex.
Masturbating whilst you penetrate her is a great way of adding extra enjoyment to the anal sex experience, it can also help your partner relax, without focusing solely on the job in hand.
- Experiment with positions
Despite people thinking of anal sex as a bit of a one trick ‘doggy style’ pony, there is no reason why it can’t be enjoyed in a number of different positions. For example, lying on her front with a pillow under her hips can be more comfortable and missionary, a different sensation with more intimate eye contact.
9. Don’t withdraw too quickly
Anal entry can be uncomfortable – and withdrawal no less so. So, if you don’t want your partner to literally feel the shooting pain of what feels like half the world falling out of her bum – slow withdrawal is advised.
- Don’t swap around
Poo is an obvious potential side effect of anal sex or, more specifically, poo on willies, fingers and toys – and even if it’s not visible, back door germs do linger and are not something your partner wants directly inserted into her vagina.
- Don’t eat a curry an hour before (or an hour after)
I’ll leave you to do the math.
P.S. For naughtier and saucier information on how to make anal sex an enjoyable and pleasure-filled experience, check out my program on the subject – Anal Ecstasy.