If backdoor things used to be a hard no for your partner, but now she’s ready to maybe start exploring that particular nether region (except that she’s not ready for a full-on penis going up there quite so soon), try easing into it with some almost-anal sex positions. Why? Because if your partner has never done it before, you’ll want to do everything in your power to make it a positive experience, so that the two of you can work back door into your usual carnal repertoire. And that means doing your homework to make sure you’ve done the necessary prep work, and knowing all of the best practices when it comes to putting something in another person’s butt. So gather your lubes, anal toys and techniques and follow my advice for a smooth sailing through her backdoor.
Your partner’s bum (and yours, for that matter) is rich in nerve endings, so for your first try at things, you don’t even need to go in — just hit the nearby real estate. But first, take whatever steps are necessary to put your partner at ease and get her in the mood. Muscle tension is not your friend in ass play, because it can add discomfort or pain if she doesn’t get past it and relax. So lie her on her back for a hot, steamy session of oral sex. When she is super turned on, gently press a vibrator to the area between her labia and her butt. Keep sucking and stroking, while experimenting with vibe patterns and pressure and watching how she reacts (99 percent chance that reaction will be: “Holy f*ck! I’m coming!”).
Phase two is fingers. If you’ve been skipping regular nail trimming lately, either skip phase two, or wear some lubed-up gloves (safety first, dudes). Lie on your sides facing each other like an X-rated yin and yang symbol, and toy with each other’s front-junk while you experiment with a (well-lubed!) finger or two up your partner’s bum when things start getting serious. But don’t rush things, you don’t want to “convince” your partner she was right in hesitating to do it when it suddenly hurts.
Make some initial exploratory journeys via toy. Not only do you not actually have to put fingers or mouth down there if you’re not feeling it, but a curved vibrating toy will work magic for relaxing very tight muscles. Find something super thin and, if it’s an issue for your partner, decidedly non-penis-looking. Lube the living hell out of it and do a reach-around to slide it on in. If you hit your woman’s G spot, she may get super, super wet. If you keep doing it while you’re inside her, she may also have a beyond-huge orgasm. Go for a trifecta with clitoris stimulation, the bum thing, plus internal stimulation — via toy or finger. Oh. My. God.
Park and ride
Get your partner into reverse cowgirl and when she feels ready, slowly insert a string of high quality beginner anal beads. The slow part is important — the idea is for your lady to get a feel of how much she can take and noticing whether she likes the feeling or not. You can insert and remove them as you go or leave them in, sliding them out right before orgasm to intensify her experience.
Get a pair of butt plugs and pop them in pre-vaginal intercourse. To make sure you don’t have butt plugs popping out mid-fuck and possibly putting someone’s eye out or something, have your partner lie facedown with her legs slightly spread. You lie flat on her back entering her from behind. Notch it up with vibrating plugs for insane reverb via magically vibrating penis/vagina.
P.S. For more crucial information about anal play and the right way to experience pleasure through it, check out my program – Anal Ecstasy.