A big sex myth floating around out in the sexual universe is that women do not like anal sex. Not true at all! They may say under their breath so no one hears them. The problem that comes with anal sex is not the lack of desire on the part of the woman to do it. The problem seems to come more from fear that it will hurt, be embarrassing or that they still think of it as taboo. The flip side of the anal sex coin is that anal sex can be very erotic and pleasurable.
Maybe you are looking to push your sexual boundaries and try anal sex for the first time or maybe you tried it and it didn’t go as planned but like someone who likes sex the cowgirl position, you want to get right back up on that horse. It’s all good. Some people secretly crave anal sex play their whole lives and never tell their partner about their desires. Others venture into the unknown backdoor unprepared. Whatever the situation, here are some pearls of wisdom to get you started on going through the back door so you can get have a pleasurable booty call.
First: You want to have anal sex. You are curious about it. Admit it. Take the taboo out of it and give yourself permission to add it to your sexual to do list. Some call anal sex the last sexual taboo but the fact is people have been engaging in anal sex play since sex was invented. I am not saying you have to broadcast this or any sexual behavior you engage in to the world but you have to be comfortable with your own sexual desires or you won’t be able to relax and enjoy them. There is nothing wrong with anal sex and many people find out there is a lot right about it.
Second: Understand the anus has a lot of nerve endings and that helps make anal stimulation very pleasurable. Like other sexual acts, it feels good. If it didn’t feel good people would pretty much stop doing it. However, unlike the vagina, the anus does not have natural lubrication. Lube and plenty of it is a crucial part of anal sex. You have to provide what nature doesn’t. So spend some time shopping for lubricant. Don’t be afraid to try more than one. Make sure it is NOT oil based because that will break down a condom very quickly. There are a lot of lubes that are made with anal sex in mind. Remember to use lube on both of you. The guy should put lube on his penis ALL the way up the shaft. The woman should have lube inside her anus as well as around the rim. Do not hesitate to stop and add more if you are experiencing discomfort.
Third: Use a condom. Unprotected anal sex is the riskiest sexual behavior for contracting HIV. If HIV is not a concern keep in mind the anus contains a lot of bacteria that are not good for the rest of the body. You don’t want it swimming up his urethra and you certainly don’t want it going from anus to vagina. Never go from anal sex or oral or vaginal sex without washing the penis well with soap and water.
Fourth: Start getting ready by using anal sex toys. Start with a small butt plug or vibe and play with that for a while then move up to the next size and so on. This will help your anus get used to something going in when it has always been for stuff going out. Be sure to use toys that have a flared end as things have been known to disappear and get lost up there as they are sucked in. Next time you talk to an ER doc, ask them what the most interesting thing they pulled out of someone’s rectum was and you will get a variety of interesting answers.
Now that you have the preliminaries under control you are ready for the main event. Try doggie style position or lay on your stomach with some pillows under your hips the first time. These positions make the rectum angle in a way that makes penetration easier. When you are all lubed up and ready for the big entrance go slow. He should go in a little bit and stop letting you get used to the feel of him inside you. When you are ready he should go in a little more and you should keep repeating this until he is all the way in. Then he should slowly start to move in and out. Be the guide and tell him when you are ready for it to go faster, slower, harder or gentler.
Breathe and relax. Tensing up will only make it more difficult. The more you relax the easier it will be and you soon find yourself preferring a back door entrance as a way to spice things up in the bedroom.