“Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed.” – Albert Einstein
Perhaps she’s been waiting for ages for something new and exciting to happen in bed, but if you put out the effort to do something different and she’s still struggling with the same predictable routine, your lack of interest will show. We know that seeing you enjoying yourself is a big part of getting your wife turned on, so how do you work up the confidence to get her to pleasure you in a way that really gets you going without hurting her ego?
The exercise of body mapping is an incredible experience not to be missed. Aside from offering you a deeper look at your wife’s hot spots, but when you turn the tables, she can have a chance to explore your body as well!
While most men have a slew of interesting spots that can be kissed, licked or stroked to get them going, there are four mainstays that can’t be ignore: the penis, testicles, nipples and anus. Most foreplay technique involves learning how to handle each of these sensitive areas, and that will vary greatly with each individual. You know best what you enjoy, so your guidance here can’t be rivaled to assist your wife in pleasuring you!
Yes, it’s a bit cliche, but communication is still the most important aspect of great sex. When you stop talking, you fall into routine and things go right back to boring. When she does something that blows your mind, tell her so! If she is doing something that isn’t quite right, gently guide her to some other more pleasurable move.
Exploring your fantasies is an important aspect of healthy sexual relationships, but if you are just learning to communicate about sex, take caution. Take some time to consider if your fantasy is attainable, realistic. If some of your fantasies range on the extreme, even if your lover shares some of these, they may be intimidated instead of turned on. Remember, keep an open mind yourself and let her suggest some ideas. You may be pleasantly surprised, but don’t overreact if it’s not what you had in mind.
Try to think of how to integrate the themes and feelings from your fantasy in a tamer, safer way. If you are into a threesome, perhaps suggest some sex-toy double penetration! If bondage intrigues you, perhaps a light tie around the wrist is a good place to start. If you spend most of your fantasy-time thinking about the most unattainable thing possible, it’s time to shift your focus for a while and think about what kind of new, fun things you can do with your wife today! Enjoy the first step, sleep on it and then talk about what went well and what didn’t work another day.
Getting Her to Go Down
If it’s been a while since she’s gone down, then maybe it’s time you asked her why? But don’t judge – be gently and prepared for the truth. How long has it been since you went down on her? Don’t play the blame game – get to it!
Go There First
That’s right. If you want her to go down on you, but aren’t willing to start things off, it’s time to rethink. If something other than lack of confidence is stopping you, it’s time to talk about it.
What will it take to get her to to show you some oral love? The same things you want when you are enjoying sexplay – cleanliness is incredibly important! Take a luxurious bath and enjoy shaving each other carefully. A pair of small, clean scissors works well to trim and the drug store carries several products for both men and women for shower hair removal!
Discuss the Details
Cumshots are hot, we agree. But it doesn’t matter how edited or scripted the porno makes it look, a woman appreciates a bit of a heads up! Don’t just assume that we want a mouth, face or chest full. Try to discuss it before anyone is too excited, or at least ask before there’s no turning back!
Recovering from a Comfort Zone Invasion
The raw emotion of scintillating sex is part of the appeal, but sometimes all that energy can lead to overload. Something you say or do can unleash an angry or sad reaction, other women just seem to shut down. Do not overreact!
Encourage her to talk about it. If you don’t know what it is you did wrong, don’t let her get away with brushing you off. You may need to sleep on it to both calm down, but don’t ignore the issue either. If you decide to play with edgier fantasies, consider agreeing upon a safeword to end play immediately, or to try and move on to something else – many find a ‘red light, yellow light, green light’ system to work well.
Don’t let another day go by wishing you were having the kind of sex you want. Everything you need to know about fantastic foreplay is at your fingertips!