“An intellectual is a person who’s found one thing that’s more interesting than sex.” – Aldous Huxley
On paper, so right. Between the sheets – not so much. Where did it all go wrong? Bad sex is one of life’s unfortunate realities. But when it’s your first time getting naked with a new girl, how do you give your hook-up some va-va-voom? I home in on the four most common sexual disasters and recommend simple ways to de-cringe them, so you can both have the sex that you deserve.
Uncomfortable – Drunken Disaster
While you were down at the pub, all those shots of tequila seemed like the best idea in the world, right? But once you’re home, somewhere between the sloppy kisses and eager hands, you realize this boozy hook-up is never going to be good for either part involved. Plus, that one tequila too many make you struggle harder than ever to get a rise of… you know, and your partner is giving signs of admitting defeat.
How to fix it: We all experience drunken fumbles at least once in our lives. In order to not store it under the “most embarrassing sex memory of my life”, all you have to do is relax into it. Make pleasure the goal, not the orgasm. Stop looking with blurry eyes for signs of ready-to-climax. Sometimes it’s nice to just fall into a snooze together. Or, if you’re feeling up to it, stop and watch a bit of comedy together (while drinking plenty of water to diffuse the booze) and then give it another shot.
Awkward – Let-down lover
You’re about to have sex with your new woman and after weeks of flirty banter, the anticipation is killing you. But she’s frustratingly timid in bed. She knows it wasn’t great and you both feel really disappointed. The silence is growing bigger and bigger and you don’t really know what you should be doing. Her eyes might well up in any second and all you can think of is getting dressed and going home to chill with a beer and forget all about it.
How to fix it: Don’t write her off after one try. It might just be the nerves getting the best of her. Nobody knows what to do right from the first go, especially since we’re all so different when it comes to the pleasures we take from sex and how our bodies are built. At first we all just try what we know worked with the person before and wish for the best. Explore her body in the way you would like to be touched and she’ll soon swiftly move on to your satisfaction.
Embarrassing – Try-too-hard tryst
Sex with someone new can be nerve racking, but in a bid to make it amazing you pull out all your moves – and she looks scared! Now you’re feeling about as sexy as the on socks on the bedroom floor. And, what’s even more baffling, you don’t know what you did wrong. After all, you tried your best routine and pulled out all the aces from both of your sleeves.
How to fix it: That’s precisely the problem. It’s like when you’re eating. You don’t need to have a taste at all the delicacies in the world in one go. You have to try them one at a time to fully enjoy the experience. Watch how she reacts when you initiate new positions. Does she look like you’ve just strangled a cute fluffy bunny or is she closing her eyes and moaning in delight? Thus you’ll see if she’s not comfortable and you can either step it down a notch or back off altogether and try something new. Sometimes it’s best to save your signature move for a later date.
Seriously!? – Prankster encounter
The lights are down low; the sexy tunes are on. But just as she starts to remove your underwear, the girl you’re with gives your penis a playful squeeze and lets out a “honk”. Mood (and your mojo) gone, and to top things off, given her attitude, you start to doubt she’s even eighteen. What is this girl doing!?
How to fix it: She could be covering up her anxiety and thinking that a bit of humor will liven things up, or maybe she’s inexperienced or her previous boyfriend was into it and she thinks all guys are. Get her in a serious mode by locking her gaze until it feels intense, and you both feel a connection. And take the lead as far as what you’re doing between the sheets is concerned. She’ll silently get the message and succumb to your method.
Have a splendid week,
Gabrielle Moore
P.S. Whatever the situation you’re in, talking it off with an honest approach will always make things better for both parties involved. Sometimes it’s all just one big misunderstanding. For more information about using your fingers in hot new ways, check out my program on the matter – Flirting Fingers.
