“Once, power was considered a masculine attribute. In fact, power has no sex.” – Katharine Graham

As a woman gets older, her desires change in a few very specific and kinda kinky ways. When we’re younger, we’re pretty much happy as long as we’re having sex – a guy naked and willing is a guy naked and willing, after all. What more can a girl ask? As it turns out, as we exit our twenties and march into our thirties and forties, they kind of booty we’re after suffers some pretty dramatic and drastic changes. But don’t fret, they’re for the better. Younger women are usually just excited to be having sex. Once we enter our thirties, the novelty has worn off and we’re looking for a deeper connection and for ways to successfully fight sexual boredom. The great news for you? Women get more experimental with age… and a lot more generous.

There’s a move they are more willing to do

Most women in their twenties say that there’s nothing like a good, sweet and hard session of cunnilingus to put them in the mood for sex. But the hotties in the 35-40 age range? Most of them said going down on you is the best way to get them hot and bothered. Mature women understand that pleasure is better when you’re both experiencing it and they realize that they are not going to have an orgasm simply from being penetrated, so they do whatever it takes to make sure that they are well lubricated and you are especially hard. However, this doesn’t mean that you should stop going down on her, on the contrary. Returning the favor is especially important. And make sure your technique is spot on. She won’t be accepting any “average” downtown session and she’ll get bored more easily if there’s no pleasure in it. The good news is that she’ll be more than eager to give you instructions on how to do it better, faster, more awesome. You just need to know how to listen and don’t get easily offended by her straightforward methods.

There’s a new place they want to be touched

While only about 23 percent of women under thirty are open to the idea of your knocking at their back door, almost half the women in their thirties and forties said it’s an idea that they can, uh, get behind. Older women are more comfortable with their bodies and want to explore different potentially arousing areas. Slowly massage her anus while making sure you’re using more than enough lubricant on your fingers. If she doesn’t object, work your way back and make the most of one of the hottest sexual experience out there: anal sex! However, this doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t have a discussion before heading back. She is indeed willing to try it but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t know the risks. As a matter in fact, she knows them fairly well now and she isn’t willing to try anything that will make her feel uncomfortable or that will hurt. So next time you’re sipping coffee and talking about yourselves and your relationship, bring the issue up and see how she reacts to it. If she smiles sheepishly and said she’s willing to give it a fair shot, make sure you prepare and make sure the experience will be amazing for the both of you. You want to do it a second time, don’t you?

There’s something they now want to share

Eighty-one percent of 30somethings said it turns them on to watch porn with their partners – a big step up from 61 percent of 20somethings. Experts say that’s probably because younger women are more likely to worry that you’ll judge them if they suggest watching porn together. When a woman reaches her thirties, she’s confident enough in her desires to share them with you, often as a way to keep things hot in a long-term, committed relationship. But more than the excitement and the arousal potential of watching people get down to it on the screen, she’s now looking for new insights and more creative ways to better the sexual experience between the two of you. So make sure you keep in mind some of the more daring moves you see there and try them with her the next time you get between the sheets. Her moans will be a sign of not-so-silent approval.

Have a quiet week,

Gabrielle Moore

P.S. Also, don’t be afraid to ask her what specific moves and touches she most likes. She’ll be more open than ever with you.

“Later I would come to believe that erotic ties were all a spell, a temporary psychosis, even a kind of violence, or at least they coexisted with these states.” – Lorrie Moore

A few drinks can make a Marnie in the street a Jessa in the bed. But sober sex, if done right, can feel tequila-crazy too (that’s a promise or next round is on me). After a glass of Prosecco, two glasses of wine, and a vodka soda (standard date-night drinking order), who hasn’t said something they would never say? Even shy girls go all “Smack my bottom and tell me I’m a bad girl!” – while assuming a very complicated, very unflattering position in bed. (No? Just me?) A little liquid courage goes a long way in terms of loosening inhibitions and giving women the body confidence of Kate Upton. A recent survey of 2,835 women from across Europe by international online dating service C-Date found that 50 per cent prefer to have sex while tipsy. Sex under the influence is often a little crazier, a little dirtier than what you get on your average Thursday evening. But the downside to a boozy romp is that it’s harder to orgasm. Alcohol slows a woman’s blood flow. That prevents blood from reaching the nerve endings in her clitoris – which has to happen in order for an orgasm to occur.

Not to mention, it’s all fun and games until you both wake up the next morning unable to remember your wild hookup. Or worse, you do remember and realize with horror that last night’s romp was sloppy rather that fun. So the question is, can you have the fun of drunk sex without actually drinking any alcohol? Yes, you can still get a little freaky, have a happy ending, and not want to crawl into a hole the next morning. Try these tips, and bottoms up (literally… depending on how you both feel about that, of course).

1)    Tease it out. Flirty banter over beers and a game of Big Buck Hunter, hips grazing as you push your way up to the bar, those hungry eyes… drunk sex is marked by a heated buildup that culminates in ripping each other’s clothes off, banging against furniture, and tripping your way to the bed. Cultivate that feeling of anticipation by planting a sexy seed. Whether it’s a look you give her in the pharmacy of a quick make-out in the hallway, do something that serves as the appetizer to a really wild (faux) waste-y sex.

2)    Create a (blurry) vision. When you picture a bar (a nice one, not your local watering hole), you probably see good-looking people rubbing elbows in an intimate, dimly lit space. That sets the mood for things to come… Bring that sexy, hazy feeling into your own bedroom with a red light bulb. As one reviewer on Amazon.com said, “Not much of a light source, but sets the tone in a dark room where you are enjoying anything that’s cool to do in a dark room.” That’s the kind of review that will make you click Add to Cart without thinking twice.

3)    Relocate. The novelty of getting it on in an out-of-the-ordinary space mimics the rush of alcohol-assisted sex. “I used to prefer drunk sex to sober sex, but since I’ve made the effort to have more sober sex, my partner and I have been trying it in the craziest places – like on top of a picnic table by the lake”, says Alex. “We replaced the adrenaline factor of getting drunk with the risk factor of getting caught.” If you’re a play-it-safe king of guy, do it in a different room of the house, in the shower, on the floor, or against the wall. Or try a hotel room – you’ll reap the novelty benefits without having to explain yourselves to an officer of the law while half-naked.

4)    Drown out awkward body noises. When you’re all liquored up, it’s easy to not give a damn. To channel that carefree attitude, create an environment where the sex sounds are not skanky. Music is a key part of that. Silence can be a scary thing, you hear the bed creaking or focus on the weird sex sounds your bodies are making. Drown that out with a playlist that makes you both want to move in a seductive way.

5)    Unleash the badass within. The whole point of drinking before sex is to help you let go of your inhibitions, so do something that signals to her and to your own brain that things could get a little out of hand. A few moves that work like tequila shots: a well-timed expletive (“that feels so good”, right as you enter her), your fingers on her arched back, or grabbing a tuft of her hair while you kiss her. Drunk sex is like really good cardio – you’re rolling around, flushed, sweaty, and out of breath. So initiate position changes to up the physicality. She may be surprised, but it will make her want to up the ante too. That’s how you get to unrestrained, unselfconscious sex – the kind that makes you see stars… without the rude hangover.

Have a sweet week,

Gabrielle Moore

P.S. It also helps to break out your night moves. There’s something about the middle of the night that feels illicit, so next time you wake up at 2 a.m. to pee, don’t go back to sleep – go to town on her instead.

“Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.” – Robert A. Heinlein

Take this test and find out!

1. The woman you’ve been dating for a month asks you to her parent’s house for her family-reunion weekend. You’re thinking:

a)    Oh my God, she’s probably already planning the wedding! I got to check her computer for wedding-themed Pinterest boards.

b)    She’s moving too fast. Does she rush into things with every man she dates?

c)    I’m excited to see her old bedroom and teenage sneaker collection.

2. You’re out to dinner with the boys and the hot waitress who’s been flirting with you all night writes her number on your check. You:

a)    Assume she’s into you. Nice! You just might call.

b)    Figure she’s just looking for a big tip.

c)    Drum your fingers at the bar until she finishes her shift. Why waste time?

3. The cute new girl at the office asks you out for a post-work cocktail. You:

a)    Plan an elaborate outfit and rehearse your stack of compliments. It’s a date!

b)    Assume she wants to get inside your… head and talk business.

c)    Think there’s a spark… but you’re not going to make assumptions. You’ll go with an open attitude.

4. You’ve just been on the best first date ever. You’re making out in the street, and you ask her to spend the night but she refuses. You:

a)    Assume she sees you as only interested in getting some action. Ugh, just another woman who sees men as players!

b)    Dig the awesome chemistry and you take her word for it. You’ll call and set another date.

c)    Think it’s her loss for being a prude. You definitely don’t want another date.

5. The woman you really like only calls you twice a week around 11 p.m. to ask if you want to sleep over. You think:

a)    The time you spend together is so fun, she’s bound to want to see you in daylight soon.

b)    It’s pretty obvious you’re her booty call.

c)    Next step, fancy dinner with your parents. You’re dying for them to meet her!

Scoring:

1. a) – 2

b) – 0

c) – 1

2. a) – 1

b) – 0

c) – 2

3. a) – 2

b) – 0

c) -1

4. a) – 0

b) – 1

c) – 2

5. a) – 0

b) – 1

c) – 2

0 to 3 points

Boy, take off your blinders!

If you’re calling your once-a-week, late-night hookup your girlfriend, you’re probably ignoring her signals. If you don’t spend any time together outside the bedroom – and not for lack of your trying – she’s not looking for more. On the flip side, don’t be clueless and repel your crush without knowing it. See someone cute? Smile in her direction. It gives you something to go on. A little encouragement goes a long way.

4 to 7 points

Congrats, you’re a woman whisperer

Not only can you tell when your new woman is totally smitten, you know just the right time to start and end the perfect date so that you keep her (and yourself as well) on her toes. Your confidence and stellar ability to read women’s signals put you in the perfect position to connect with eligible women that come your way. You can tell she’s interested – the next step? Mirror her body language and ramp up the eye contact to strengthen your bond. Let the flirting begin!

8 to 10 points

You’re a classic over-reader

Slow down, boy! You’re reading way too much into women’s cues. When that hot waitress leaves you her number, she’s hoping you’ll call, not hover at the bar for three hours. Don’t risk sabotaging a great connection by jumping the gun. If your radar is a little wonky, it helps to zoom out. Imagine your best mate in your situation. How would you tell him to respond? Playing it a little cool helps build momentum in a relationship.

Have an awesome week,

Gabrielle Moore

P.S. Make sure you answer this questions in complete honesty. Don’t answer thinking how you’d like to behave, but rather how you actually do, when in similar situations.

“When you touch a body, you touch the whole person, the intellect, the spirit, and the emotions.” – Jane Harrington

She is a woman of many moods, and sometimes those moods are not consistent with having insane, contortionist, bend-over-backward-and-balance-on-one-hand sex. Sometimes, though, that sounds just about right. Keeping this in mind, I’ve paired 20 amazing sex moves to 20 different moods. So go ahead, don’t call her moody or crazy, just serve her the kind of sex her mind needs and her body will follow.

1. She’s feeling cuddly. When she just wants to snuggle up, lie with her head on your chest and trace cute little messages across your torso, be a gentleman and reciprocate by writing your own love notes across her back. This will make her feel more connected and will give her the push she needs to go from cuddly to naked and full of desire.

2. She’s feeling sexy. These are the days when she is on: her hair is behaving brilliantly, and she’s owning her skinny jeans – and those are the days she’s feeling more eager than ever to show off her goods. Let her straddle you while you’re lying on your back on the bed and have her lean back so her elbows are resting behind her. Her body should form a semi-bridge. From here, you take charge and do the work. You can thrust up while getting an eyeful of her rocking body. It’s a total rush for her, especially knowing that you’re taking in every inch of her and loving every moment of it.

3. She’s feeling shy. Then there are the days when she’s not feeling so skinny-jeans-ready… the days she seriously considers becoming a never-nude. This is the perfect time to employ half-dressed sex. Keep her mini dress on, push her undies aside and don’t get totally naked either – it will feel urgent and charged, without putting her on full display.

4. She’s feeling naughty. Go commando on a date – while she’s driving or while you’re sitting in the movie theater, slyly slip your hand underneath her skirt and give her a saucy little smile. She’ll know that when you get home later, it’s on like never before.

5. She’s feeling crazy. Doggie-style sex – in front of a window! – taps into her wild, exhibitionist side. You will literally steam things up. If you have nosy neighbors, be sure to do this at night, with the lights off.

6. She’s feeling voyeuristic. Touch yourself while she watches. It’s hot for a woman to see her guy completely lose control while she maintains it. Plus – learning opportunity!

7. She’s feeling lazy. Have a pizza picnic party in bed. No TV allowed – put on a sexy playlist and sit across each other like you would do at a restaurant. Serve the pizza on plates, pour some wine, and don’t be afraid to get messy with the margherita.

8. She’s feeling experimental. Hot-cold play is not Chris Martin’s side band: it’s when you alternate the sensations to build tension, because you don’t know which you’re going to experience next. Take turns blindfolding each other and teasing sensitive spots like the neck, nipples, and inner thighs with ice cubes and your warm breath.

9. She’s feeling romantic. Dim lighting plus a backrub is very romantic, and a massage candle kills two lovebirds with one stone. A massage also releases the bonding hormone oxytocin, so you’ll feel more connected to each other post-rub.

10. She’s feeling playful. I know it sounds weird, but hear me out: play-wrestling with your woman can be supersexy and fun. All that pushing and rubbing up against each other, grrr. Just be sure to hold the smackdown on an area with a soft surface – like your mattress or a fuzzy carpet. There are no losers in this round, and it may just put you both in the mood for some behind the belt wrestling as well.

11. She’s feeling submissive. Bind her wrists behind her back or to your headboard with one of your silk ties before going down on her. It’s much more comfortable than a pair of handcuffs.

12. She’s feeling like taking charge. Have her climb on top of you and pin your wrists against the bed. Holding on to your arms gives her leverage so she can really go for it, and it adds to the she-is-in-control vibe. The diagonal angle also provides more contact between your pelvic bone and her clitoris, upping the orgasmic potential.

13. She’s feeling stressed. Orgasms are tension busters, so after a hard day at work, pull your woman close and whisper, ‘All I want is to make you come.’ When there’s a problem, men like to fix it, so you’re making her feel protected and desired while getting your own pleasure at the same time.

14. She’s feeling relaxed. Slip into a hot bubble bath together. Have her sit between your legs, with her back against your chest. You can reach around and give her some manual loving while she grinds up against you (gently). Water will definitely slosh on your floor, but you’re Zen, baby, so c’est la vie.

15. She’s feeling patient. When you want to draw out the experience (or if you’ve got a streak of masochism in you), try stop-and-go sex. How it works: bring yourselves to the brink, then stop. Don’t move, don’t grind, don’t do anything for at least 30 seconds. Then resume your activities, and repeat the stop-and-go move two more times. Delaying your orgasm makes the release feel superhero powerful.

16. She’s feeling groggy. There’s just something about slow, languid sex the morning after a late night… mmm. Spooning is perfect because 1) it allows her to remain lazily on the bed, and 2) your hands are free to roam her body, meaning even less work for her to do in her sleepy, possibly hangover state. Roll her over to her side and guide yourself inside her.

17. She’s feeling generous. ‘It is better to give than to receive, right?’ ‘Yes!’ says every boyfriend, ever. When the giving mood strikes, lie back and relax and let her go down on you. Knowing that you don’t have to do anything will feel much more intense than usual.

18. She’s feeling nostalgic. Remember how exciting making out was when you were a freshman in high school? Tap into that. Rather than rushing right into sex, go for 10 solid minutes of kissing, groping and dry humping (grossest word ever, I know, but all the friction it creates is very girl-orgasm friendly) – and that’s it.

19. She’s feeling ambitious. Simultaneous orgasms – not easy to achieve, but when you do, oh, the glory! The next time she’s feeling focused, try side-by-side 69. Turn onto your sides, facing each other. Since you never have to raise your heads off the pillows, you’ll be comfy as you get each other there.

20. She’s feeling kinky. On nights when she wants to let her freak flag fly, assume an alter ego. (What? Beyonce does it! Sasha Fierce, anyone?) It’s easier to get into character when you don’t look like you, so buy her a kinky present: a wig! Her night just got a lot more interesting!

Have a fantastic week,

Gabrielle Moore

P.S. The term ‘moody woman’ doesn’t seem so frightening any more, now does it?

“Anticipation makes the hard-on longer.” – Itsby Stevintary

Sex and the Olympics go together like Michael Phelps and water. At the Olympic Games in Beijing, athletes were provided with 100,000 condoms (that’s more than 10 each!), and things got even hotter with 150,000 condoms shipped into London’s Olympic Village this year. But it’s not just the athletes who might want some podium-worthy action – all that Lycra is getting us a little flushed, too. If you’re feeling a similar stirring, grab your nearest female competitor and gear up for some Olympic-inspired fun. Just work out your competitive sex styles and how you can align them and you’ll be out of the starting blocks before the gun’s even fired.

If you’re a sprinter

Sharing a bed but your climaxes aren’t even in the same postcode? Part of the reason could be that women can take around 20 minutes to reach full arousal, while you’re perfectly capable of enjoying sweet post-coital dreams by then. So how can you have her join in the hard-and-fast run without her feeling unsatisfied at the end? The key lies in separating mind and body – getting the former psyched for what the latter is about to experience. So take foreplay down a notch, speed-wise. While she slips into her lingerie, after having taken a bath, start touching her lightly, brushing her thighs and breasts will make it feel extra hot once you finally take over and do the deed. Then once you’re in bed with her, don’t settle for just one position. If you’re a sprinter, if you linger on one single way of doing it, you’ll finish even faster. Alternatively, you can choose a less familiar spot to get naked (kitchen table?) as it will get her adrenaline pumping. She could also take hold of your penis and squeeze just below the head – the pressure will push blood back down your penis and diminish the sexual tension. Finally, try some dirty talk to ramp up the tempo for her and have her crossing the finish line neck and neck with you – if not first.

Too fast… It could be that you’re suffering from premature ejaculation – not necessarily a problem as long as you’re both happy. If not, there are things you can do about it – from mastering techniques during sex, to using shallow movements instead of deep thrusts. And if you’re often over keen, you could be looking for swift release from stress, or you might be simply so into her. Yeah, I’m guessing that’s it.

If you’re a diver

Going down on a woman is one of the most intimate moves a man can make, so it’s no surprise 43 per cent of women are keen for oral sex. If you love diving down below, try this trick. Suck her gently, as if through a straw. Once she’s aroused, form an “O” with your lips, pulling and releasing. It can be intense, so you should follow her cues to ensure the pressure works. If oral doesn’t feature in your repertoire, too bad! Especially if you’re more than keep on her giving you deep-sea action. And don’t think she doesn’t want it just because she never asks for it. A woman will never do that, so take the lead and you’ll both reap the benefits.

Victory Lap… Win! You are now an unselfish lover who wants to showcase how dedicated he is to her partner’s pleasure as well as his own. Let the reciprocal loving… and blowing begin!

If you’re a gymnast

Men fall into camps: the “lie back and let me do my thing” variety, versus the guy who sees sex as an extension of his gym workout. If you’re type two and boast good upper-body strength, you’re suited for positions that require you to take your partner’s weight. Indulge your inner caveman by going for sex against the wall with your partner’s legs wrapped around your waist, or take it to the shower to steam things up. If that doesn’t work for her, start in the missionary position and kneel up straight, holding her hips so her torso is at 45 degrees to the bed. A rocking motion should have both of you grinding to a climax in minutes. On the other hand, she can hone her inner gymnast by training her pelvic muscles – strong muscles result in strong orgasms!

Flex your muscles… Showing off your super-toned body and demonstrating your strength and flexibility are classic mating rituals designed to impress. You’re an alpha male and you enjoy the feeling of being in charge in the bedroom. However, that’s not to say you shouldn’t accept some female domination from time to time. So by all means, feel free to let her take over the spotlight.

If you’re a marathon man

A major scientific sex survey conducted found the perfect sex session lasts between seven and 15 minutes- and that some of us think even three minutes is “adequate” (really?). However, forget what the scientists say – taking it slowly could be the path to your most mind-blowing orgasm ever (and hers!). And if you’re the type of guy who enjoys pleasuring your partner, tantric sex could reap huge benefits for you both. If you can keep going, you could be in for a marathon session. Tantra isn’t just about opening your chakras and trying not to picture Sting naked: it’s also about enjoying each intimate moment of sex, not just the race to orgasm. First, plan a sexy night at home and find a way to bond that doesn’t involve sex – whether it’s taking a bath together or sharing a bottle of red wine. Then, when you’re both totally relaxed, it’s time to explore what turns you on physically and mentally. Just about any activity can be made erotic. To find out what works for you, try playing Yin Yang – where each of you takes it in turns to be Yang, in charge of requesting pleasure from your partner. A massage? A little bit of oral attention? Gentle stroking? Aim to spend three hours over the whole experience and you and your partner will be feeling a connection for days.

Long-distance lover… If your grinding leaves your partner feeling sore or bored (of the 60 per cent of women who’ve faked it, many cite this as the reason), speed it up by switching to the girl-on-top position. That way she gets to set the pace.

Have a lovely week,

Gabrielle Moore

P.S. The longest passion award goes to a married couple from Tayland that shared an unbroken kiss for 46 hours, 24 minutes and 9 seconds – that’s nearly two days! Who said romance was dead?

“I think that I shall never see a poem as lovely as a hot-gushing, butt-cramping, gut hosing orgasm” – Chuck Palahniuk

They did it with smoothies, they’ve done it with soup… now they’re doing it with orgasms. It’s time I give you the lowdown on this new type of orgasm.

If the thought of putting your genitals anywhere near a blender is making you do involuntary Kegels, I don’t blame you. But don’t worry – you’ll be pleased to hear there’s no machinery involved.

The blended orgasm gets its name from combining a C-spot and a G-spot into one giant Holy Grail of a climax. Now I’m sure this isn’t an entirely new discovery – there were no doubt Elizabethan-age women getting their kicks thusly – but by giving it a name, writing articles about it, and generally getting the word out there, more of us can hopefully get on the blended bandwagon.

Statistically speaking, a woman will probably have already experienced a clitoral (C-spot) orgasm, and hopefully many women also know the awesome power of a G-spot orgasm, not to mention how different they are. So, with that in mind, let’s skip ahead and discover how you can combine the two so that your partner gets what she deserves in the sack.

Lone Star

Before you go demanding one from your unsuspecting partner, have her try it out herself at first. It’s like cooking a new recipe – you’d taste the sauce before slathering it on the steak, right? She’ll need two hands… or a hand and a vibrator… or, if she’s very dexterous, she might be using one hand while texting with the other.

Here’s what she has to do: she should get cozy and stimulate her clitoris however she sees fit. Then, right before she hits XXX-town, she should move her administrations to her G-spot. She’s not sure where it is? There’s no other way to put this: she has to insert a finger and feel around. It should be on the front wall of her vagina and feel rough, like the roof of her mouth. She’ll know when she hits it – mostly because it’s amazing, but also because it might make her want to pee (this will pass). When she’s almost there, she should let her other hand (or vibrator) walk back to her clitoris. Boom – double or nothing?

Two Star

Once she’s mastered the Lone Star (it might take practice), it’s time you get your hands dirty as well. Start off by propping her up with a pillow so her hips are elevated (very, very important). Then, after a little foreplay, you may enter. This works best if she has her lower legs hanging off the end of the bed with you standing over her. You should hit the spot instantly, but if not, she should tilt her pelvis higher to meet you. When things are cooking, stop. And then start up with the clitoris attention – alternate both fingers and penis moves until she’s a piece of gum ready to burst, then rock them in tandem for the big finale.

Rock Star

By now, you’re all, “Oh yeah, blended… We do that all the time. Yawn.” Which means it’s time to make like Curtis Stone and add a little extra spice. There are ways to bring the blend to almost any position you choose. What’s that? You like doggie-style? While she’s on all fours, she’s in Mother Nature’s version of the pillow tilt – everything’s already lined up for you erection to hit her G-spot, and you can reach round and stimulate her clitoris, too.

If she’s more of a woman-on-top type, try reversing it and have her straddle you backwards (this is to get the right angle going on). While riding you, she could also caress her own clitoris. Fear not, you’ll reap rewards, too. Because the blended orgasm means lighting a fire under two distinctly different areas of her anatomy, the extra effort slows the whole thing down and helps you last longer. Not to mention that feeling and watching her having the climax of her life will send you bonkers.

Have a sensual week,

Gabrielle Moore

P.S. Gosh, we learnt a lot in this story! Does anyone else need a nap?

Orgasm Confusion is Nothing New

Women having orgasms is not a new phenomenon. Unfortunately neither is women faking orgasms. Both have more than likely been around since the caveman days. Who knows if our Neanderthal brothers were as confused about female orgasm as modern day man, but one thing is for certain, for many men, female orgasm remains a mystery.

For you men, the process of arousal and orgasm is pretty basic. Arousal leads to erection. Erection, when you are lucky leads to stimulation and stimulation leads to ejaculation and orgasm. Then you fall asleep with a smile on your face right?

Women are a little more complicated which seems to sometimes freak you guys out. Women need different kinds of stimulation for different kinds of orgasm and sometimes we can keep having orgasms one right after the other. It can be like a roller coaster or a dead end depending on many factors.

Orgasm 411

For those of you who are looking for some 411 on female orgasm here are four interesting facts and tips that may help you better understand them and help keep your woman coming back for more:

Variety is the Spice of Life

The more variety in your sex life, the greater the chance she will have an orgasm. Women tend to have more frequent orgasms from different types of stimulation. Try oral sex before intercourse or better yet, try a vibrator. Also consider the psychological factor in having new sexual adventures. It can help break a couple out of the same old dull routine and that in itself can be very exciting. Think about having sex outside the bedroom. Try the shower or the kitchen table. Do the unexpected. What are you waiting for? Mix things up!

Where is Her Clitoris?

Hot off the research presses is the finding that women who have clitorises lower on their vulvas have an easier time climaxing from intercourse. This is because the friction of the penis in the vagina has an easier time rubbing against a clitoris that is closer. Women who have a clitoris up higher need more direct clitoral stimulation Makes perfect sense right? Since we all know women’s vulvas are as diverse as the stars in the sky, take a good look down there and see how far her clitoris is from her vagina. Obviously she will be able to tell you if she can feel the clitoral stimulation during intercourse but knowledge is power so don’t hesitate to educate yourself on your partner’s parts. It will help you determine if she needs some finger or sex toy action during intercourse or if you want to follow the always popular “Ladies First” rule about orgasm.

Slow and Steady Wins the Race

As I said before, men are different when it comes to arousal and orgasm. Perhaps it is a big part of our evolution to help men be able to spread their seed to as many women as possible. Regardless, for women you must remember it is a marathon not a sprint. It can take women longer to become aroused, to be physical and mentally ready for penetration and to orgasm. Those are just the facts. A good lover’s job is to take those facts and apply them to their everyday sex life. Instead of rubbing her clitoris like you are trying to erase words on a piece of paper, try starting by touching her slow in gentle circles and then up and down. Slowly work down to her vagina and insert your finger and go after her G-Spot. Then go back up to the clitoris and pick up the pace and intensity. During oral sex do the same with your tongue, slow circles and then faster and more intense.

Expectations can lead to Disappointment

One of the most important things to remember about women and orgasm is that the more mental pressure you put on her to have one the less likely she is to have one. Guys, take it from me, there is nothing remotely sexy about a man asking you every 30 seconds, “Did you come? Did you come? Did you come?” Fact is, it is annoying and it makes women get so worried about whether or not they are going to have an orgasm they can’t focus on the moment and are afraid they will disappoint their partner. Then they fake it. Then the next time they have sex they are so worried they won’t orgasm after their partner thinks they did last time they fake it again. Thus begins an endless cycle. Try simply enjoying the moment and focus on giving her the best experience you can. Relax and the orgasms will come.

Hi honey, I just found this video for you.

I’m sure you will love it. You’re about to find out what REAL WOMEN think about faking orgasms.

Enjoy!

And please…. don’t forget to leave your comments below!

Kisses,

Gabrielle Moore

“I know how to tell a woman I love her in seventeen syllables or less. I’m not talking about a haiku, I’m talking about grunts from an orgasm”- Jarod Kintz

It’s a sad fact of life that general consensus considers the end of the sexual act to be when the man comes- not when a woman does. This means, 99 per cent of the time, you get to climax during sex while your partner misses out big time. Welcome to what’s known as „The Orgasm Gap”.

But this doesn’t mean you should accept this! Here are the three main things that make it harder for women to reach climax than men (no, biology doesn’t hate the ladies, don’t forget we can have multiple orgasms and you, well, can’t!), and how you can fix this.

1. Lowered Libido

Symptoms:
• Never being in the mood for sex
• A decrease in her usual sex drive
• Feeling so stressed or tired that a shag is the last thing she wants

Most likely to affect: Women in long-term relationships

In those first few precious weeks or romance, it’s easy to go at it like animals. But, after a while, it can become predictable and boring (you’ve memorized every single aspect of each other’s bodies and know the exact moves needed to get the other person in the mood). Losing the initial element of surprise and exploration can mean, for a woman, at least, that she stops looking forward to sex. Another thing that can keep her from wanting „it” is not feeling confident about her body. If she’s constantly trying to get into positions she thinks are flattering, she’ll never relax enough to reach orgasm. I know what you think right now: seriously, when you’re doing it with your partner, the last thing you think about is rating her body out of 10- you think how damn sexy she looks while all hot and sweaty. Well, blame it on women’s need to split hairs endlessly.

Sexperiment solution
If your sessions have become routine and unexciting, sit down with your partner and make a list of different positions or sexual acts you’d like to try. Not only will you have some things to look forward to exploring but, for many women, getting turned on is as much in the mind as the body, so you may find just talking about what you’d like to do in bed (or out of it) is enough to get her aroused.

2. Limited arousal

Symptoms:
• Hard or even impossible to reach orgasm
• Not finding intercourse satisfying
• Dryness in her „down there” region

Most likely to affect: Women who aren’t getting enough foreplay
Sticking to just a couple of moves during foreplay (an ear nibble here, a nipple lick there) and then racing to intercourse won’t lead to a bed-shaking finale. A woman’s body needs to be prepped for orgasm, and you can do that only by making sure you „wake up” all her erogenous zones. Also, don’t stick to the same foreplay routine over and over again. When you touch her in a familiar way every time, her body becomes desensitized and it won’t feel as arousing. Also, one of the biggest misconceptions holding women out of reach of climaxing is the belief that an orgasm is easily achieved through vaginal intercourse alone. The most common reason for not achieving an orgasm is generally not enough clitoral stimulation before sex. Make it your goal to study her body geometry and uncover uncharted erogenous zones so packed with powerful nerve endings, that just touching them takes her from 0 to Oh!

Sexperiment solution
Using either your hand or your mouth, start touching her all over until you find what feels nice for her. Pressure is the number one enemy of orgasms, so don’t stress if it takes a while. If she gives you signs that what you’re doing feels pleasurable, you’re headed in the right direction. For example, get her turned on by perfecting the way you kiss. I’m sure you know how to do it, but what you probably don’t know is that there’s an undercover pleasure transmitter, the buccal nerve, surrounding the edges of the mouth. This area is extremely sensitive to touch, but it’s often overlooked since most people focus on the plump part of the lips. Try lightly tracing the edges of her lips with the tip of your tongue. This technique triggers thoughts of what your tongue can do down bellow.

3. Clumsy lovin’

Symptoms:
• She can orgasm alone but not with you
• You are unwilling to do what it takes to make her climax
• You change position too fast

Most likely to affect: Women who don’t feel comfortable talking about sex

In my experience as a sex educator, I found that a common complaint of men was that women aren’t clear on what they like. Yes, it is rather depressing that so many women are still reluctant to show men how to please them, given the fact that only a woman truly knows what feels good for her.

Sexperiment solution
What you have to do in this situation is mix things up by taking control of the situation and asking for a little direction. Ask her how it feels when you touch her in different ways and pay attention to how her body responds to your hands, mouth or penis. And go slowly at first, to help her get used to your movements and get pleasure out of them. Also, try using positions that stimulate the clitoris plenty, like the CAT (Coital Alignment Technique), an upgraded version of the missionary, where you lean forward to her so that your pelvis rubs itself against her clitoris, creating truly head turning sensations.

Have a delightfully erotic week,

Gabrielle Moore

P.S. Initiate sex more often; doing it more than one time a week will get her body used to the good feelings and make her orgasm more easily.

One of the strangest and most precious things about orgasm is how long it can really last. Most of us ascribe only the violent, explosive climax of pleasure with the orgasmic experience, but there are so many more elements to erotic desire and female orgasm.

Learning to be a master of each of these elements is all about becoming the Prince of Tease. Can you handle taking control of the situation, slowing down for a while, and getting to know every nuance of her erotic body. Are you ready?

To Tease: 101

What does it take to be a tease master?

You need a few key traits before you can really take full advantage of her body’s orgasmic potential:

• patience
• self-control
• perseverance
• observation skills

Get comfy and prep yourself for a long, slow build up she won’t forget.

Patience

The first important aspect of being the kind of tease that ladies love is patience. You need to be more patient than your lover! Can you do that? Can you wait for sex not just until she’s ready, but until she is begging for it? I believe in you!

You need to learn to be strong and firm. Your wife may jump right into the usual routine and start working towards pleasuring you. Don’t let her distract you from the tease! Gently remind her that you want to focus on her tonight and really get her worked up. Be assertive but don’t get aggressive unless she specifically asks for it (ie. When she says, “Harder!” that’s a good indication you can talk about upping the intensity). If a little bit of stimulation from her helps keep you aroused, you will also need your…

Self-control

This is great training for you in orgasmic control and performance. Let her give you some pleasure, but be sure to let her know when she needs to step back so you can hang on to your focus. If you aren’t paying attention to giving her pleasure, you need to take the lead again. If you are going to be in control of her pleasure, you need to be in control of hers too.

Perseverance

Whether your wife is easily orgasmic or could take hours to come, you will need time, energy and serious stamina to really make an impression with the tease. Take your time. Try not to keep looking at the clock, but find some way to ensure you are waiting long enough. Try getting started around sundown and working up to orgasm slowly until it’s fully dark. Vary your position, use toys when you need a break, do whatever you can to extend your playtime energy.

Observation Skills

Knowing how long is long enough, when to back off and let her simmer for a while, and when to push forward and bring her right up to (or over) the edge – these are skills of observation. Watch her during foreplay for signs of arousal. Become intimately familiar with her physical responses and do whatever you can to learn what to expect from her body. If she’ll allow it, record these extended orgasmic experiences on video and enjoy watching them together so you can learn how her expressions reflect her feelings and experiences. You’ll become a master of her orgasm in no time!

Watch out for flushed skin, funny expressions, giggles, deep sighs, moans and groans. If she is getting close to orgasm and you aren’t quite ready to finish up, pull back and focus on less obvious erogenous zones. Many women will find that teasing makes them more likely to experience multiple orgasms, but if your wife tends towards the terminal type, be sure to give her plenty of time to enjoy all the more subtle sensations. Touch her face and her neck, kiss her shoulders, nibble her ears, touch her collarbone and massage her breasts. Some women can experience orgasm just by nipple stimulation alone!

The Reversal

If you are in the mood to test your own limits of orgasmic and ejaculatory control, turn things around and let your lover tease and tantalize you right to the edge! If either of you find it difficult to maintain a high level of arousal for too long at once, try playing back and forth. Bring your lover right to the edge, then back off and lie back. Let her do the same for you, then switch it up again. You can go back and forth like this for hours. Be sure to bring water and some sexy snacks…