So many guys get hot and bothered about anal sex, but women aren’t always on the same page. If your partner is dead set against it, I wouldn’t push for it. There are women who genuinely don’t enjoy it. That being said, there are also a lot of men who aren’t doing it right. A bad experience could be chalked up to inexperience. Even though you shouldn’t try to convince your partner to do something she doesn’t want to do, if she is up for it, there are lots of ways to make sure that it’s a good experience for both of you.
- She should be 100% relaxed and very turned on. Take your time getting there. If you rush it then you’re more likely to for her to get nervous, clench down and then it’s definitely going to hurt her and that’s not enjoyable at all.
- When starting out with anal play, go very, very shallow. All the nerve endings that she will get pleasure from are in the anus. If you slowly insert the tip (finger or penis, with LOTS of lube), that will begin to get her warmed up and you will be able to feel when she starts getting more relaxed.
- Practice multiple stimulation techniques. Your best bet is to probably reach around and stimulate her clitoris at the same time. This will feel amazing and help her to continue to stay relaxed.
- LUBE! I know I already mentioned this in the first part of this article, but just in case you haven’t made it over there yet, this is a tip that can’t be left out. Silicone based lube and lots of it, fellas.
The Positions, Part 2
- The 90 degree angle – With this position you will be lying on your side and she will be lying on her back at a 90 degree angle from your body so her genitals line right up with yours. This will allow her to relax and her anus will naturally open more at this position, making penetration easier. You will have access to touch her clitoris, vulva, and breasts and she can access your balls if she wants.
- The Rocking Horse – You sit cross legged on the bed and lean back, holding yourself up with your arms. She will straddle you and find the best position for entry. The only drawback here is that you will have to use your hands to hold yourself up and that means you won’t be able to touch her, but she can grind her clitoris against your pelvic bone or touch herself and give you quite a show.
- Modified Rocking Horse – For some guys sitting with their legs crossed is not the most comfortable position. If that’s the case with you, try extending your legs forward with modified rocking horse. You won’t need to hold yourself up with your arms with this one so it also frees up your hands to explore her body. Plus the elevated position puts her breasts right in your face and close to your mouth!
- Reverse Cowgirl – This popular position is also great for anal sex. It gives the woman a lot of control over speed and depth and it gives you a sexy eye full. You lie down flat on your back and she straddles you facing toward your feet instead of your face.
- Doggy Style and variations – Doggy style is definitely the go to position when it comes to anal sex. It makes sense given the position of each person, but I need to give you a word of caution. Many of the benefits of the other positions I mentioned is that it gives the woman more control over depth and speed. This is essential in anal sex in order for it not to hurt her. In doggy style the man will have all the control, so you need to remember to go slow and not get too carried away. Communicate with each other.
Try this variation by having her hold her upper body up over a stack of pillows. You will enter from behind and lay your whole body over hers. This provides a lot of sexy skin to skin contact.
Try standing doggy style or using the stairs in your home to position her at just the right angle.
As always, communication is key to any good sexual experience and anal sex is no different. Check in with her to make sure what you’re doing feels okay, if she might want more lube, and if you’re going too fast or hard.
Enjoy yourselves!
Gabrielle Moore
P.S. Don’t forget to check out the first part of this article that gives you some great preparation advice and more sexy positions! Check out my program on the matter – Anal Ecstasy. Here you’ll find all you need to know about the subject.
