There are a lot of reasons that women like anal sex, but it can be easy with something so often seen as taboo to fixate on one particular fantasy, one fetish. Do you have an anal fetish? When you close your eyes and think about the kind of anal sex that you want, is the fantasy always the same? What does it look like?
Now consider this… what if your anal fantasy is getting in the way of making it happen? Could your fixation on getting it your way be preventing it from happening at all?
Your wife’s personal flavor, her desires and ambitions, her wants and needs, her fears and hesitations when it comes to anal will all be part of the way she feels when you come on to her. If she isn’t sure of your motives, or she isn’t into your specific flavor of anal, the fun and games could be over before it has even begun! Try to pinpoint her wants and feelings towards anal play before you go gung ho.
Sweet and Mild
For many women, the “first time” experience of anal sex is appealing because it is a way to experience that “new relationship energy” all over again. Whether it is entirely new for her, or just something you haven’t tried together yet, it gives the relationship a whole new barrier to breach, pun intended. You should treat this experience as if you are laying down with a virgin all over again. Go as superbly slow as possible. Woo her over the course of a few weeks or even months, if it suits you! The more time she has to become accustomed to the sensations of different kinds of anal penetration and become comfortable with stretching to accommodate you, the more likely she is to thoroughly enjoy a fully penetrating experience!
Wet and Wild
Some women get into anal sex specifically because it can be so sensually wet and messy, in a good way. She probably enjoys lube a whole lot and will get right into extended foreplay… but don’t back off too quickly either. She may want to get right down to the “dirty” stuff when she’s warmed up.
For some women, it is the experience of being an object of pleasure and delight, as well as a vision of beauty to be desired, which drives them to enjoy anal play. She may enjoy women-on-top anal positions, which can give you an incredible view and enough time to gather your thoughts and pull off some staggering word play. Do everything in your power to make her feel absolutely gorgeous, while she takes the physical lead and controls your pace and depth for a comfortable ride. Go!
Many women enjoy anal for its simple, sensual aspects. Erotic massage is the perfect lead in for this lovely lady, who may also enjoy having delicate fruits and chocolate licked and nibbled from her skin. Try to engage all of her senses. The overwhelming experience will not only help get her turned on, but can relax her muscles and initiate many different pleasure responses in her body that might not otherwise be active.
Talk it Out
These are of course only a few examples of the many different fantasies women might have about anal sex. If she isn’t quite sure what her fantasy might be, have her explore it. Perhaps the only images she has in her head about anal involve discomfort or pain. Perhaps she associates it with feeling ashamed, degraded or dirty. Don’t try to “convince” her that she wants to try something she doesn’t enjoy… but do explore the roots of her aversion.
Ask her to simply try imagining anal sex as if she were enjoying it. It may not work at first. She may find it difficult, but with time many people can discover that their particular discomfort or reactive disgust stems from a specific emotional event or recurring experience from their past. For couples who have varied fetishes which they may not share, regular visualization can be a life saver for bringing kinky couples closer together! Working together to at least understand, if not adopt your lover’s sexual interests, can drastically increase not only your sexual activity, but your honesty and intimacy. You and your lover both deserve to have her deepest desires heard and understood.