Make the ultimate sex connection

Make the ultimate sex connection

If you’re looking to add a little heat and a lot of intimacy to your sex life – and who isn’t – the ancient practice of Tantric sex might be the answer. Some people think that Tantric sex is cultish or that it’s about making love for hours on end. But it’s actually a simple and accessible way for people to raise their lovemaking energy, make a spiritual connection with their partner, and break down boundaries. Plus, it can give the both of you truly incredible orgasms. What’s not to like? Here’s my step-by-step guide to sex that doesn’t involve pretzel poses or bedroom marathons, but it does ensure a stronger, closer erotic bond.

Step 1: Ask her to join you

Instead of trying to squeeze in a quickie, take the time to ask your partner to embark on this sexual experience with you. Asking each other’s permission before you begin ensures that you’re not taking each other for granted and establishes respect for both your partner and the act. Try saying something like, “I’m really looking forward to making love with you, and feeling closer and more connected.” Feel a little silly? Go ahead and giggle – even Tantric sex can be playful.

Step 2: Set the scene

Take the time to create a sensual setting and mood. You want everything in the room to be pleasing to the eye. Try draping richly colored cloths around your bedroom, lighting incense or candles, and placing items to which you two have an emotional attachment – photos, gifts, an erotic book – around the room. Another mood enhancer? Draw a bath and sink into the tub together (and lather each other up). The point is to make your woman feel like a goddess and to set aside time that you normally wouldn’t so that it’s special.

Step 3: Reach out and touch each other

A full-body massage helps stimulate the seven energy centers, or chakras, throughout your body, so you’re aroused from head to toe. Start massaging your partner’s hands and wrists, then move up the arms and shoulders until you reach the chest. Next, starting from the feet and ankles, work your way up the legs and thighs until you reach the belly. This sequence helps awaken her sexual energy. When you’re done massaging her, have her do the same for you – this puts your energies in tune and helps create a sense of union, not to mention that it feels pretty darn good.

Step 4: Take a breath

Now that you’re relaxed, aroused, and connected, heighten these feelings with some synchronized breathing. Sit facing each other with your knees touching or with her straddling your lap. You can be clothed or naked, whatever feels best for you. Take a minute to gaze silently into each other’s eyes, and then breathe in and out in unison for at least five minutes. Doing this puts you in the same spiritual space and synchronizes your energy. It’s all a part of conscious lovemaking. From there, start alternating inhalations and exhalations. As you breathe in, she breathes out. You’ll create a circle of breath that is very sexually arousing, even though nothing has happened in your genitals.

Step 5: Reach your peak

While superintense orgasms aren’t the main goal of Tantric sex, a big playoff never hurts. Increase the buildup by thinking of sex as a buffet, rather than a three-course meal. In regular sex, you’ll have foreplay, then intercourse, then cuddle. In Tantric sex, you’ll have a little foreplay, then maybe a bit of intercourse, then you might stop to go back to massage, then foreplay again, then feed each other some fruit, then back to intercourse. You reach an energy high multiple times over the course of the journey, each one more intense than the last. By the time you’ve reached the point where you’re ready to release these energies and orgasm, the result can be an intensely magical – and pleasurable – experience.

Hot kisses,

Gabrielle Moore

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