increasing female libido

Who are you in bed?



Who are you in bed?

Have you ever wondered what sexual archetype you identify with, and what it says about your preferences when it comes to getting down and dirty? This is important to know, because thus you will finally discover if you and your partner are compatible. Because the truth is many couples out there are sexually dysfunctional – in a lot of cases, someone has to sacrifice their pleasure for the sake of their partner’s. 

But how important is a sexual personality to one’s overall satisfaction between the sheets? Very, if studies are to be believed. Personality traits are important determinants of our sexuality and sexual health. They help establish an ideal lifetime sexual partner, an individual’s involvement in casual sex, infidelity, sexual orientation, homophobic attitudes, symptoms of sexual dysfunction, sexual risk-taking, sexual harassment, and sexually-aggressive behaviour. 

In fact, studies have identified various sexual preference archetypes—the dominant, the submissive, the repressed, the entitled, and the martyr. I believe that every person shares a bit of all of these sexual preference archetypes but has one that they identify with. But the problem is many men and women don’t know what they want. Reading erotica and speaking with intimate health advisors are ways to discover the sexual options, and if they identify with them. 

And if you want to better understand yourself in bed and thus enrich and improve your performance, check out my program, Bigger and Deeper, which tackles issues that are of interest to any man who wants to be satisfied with his performance. 

If you’re wondering which archetype defines you, our quiz might just help you identify your preferences and find your fit:


Q When it comes to quality time with your partner, do you find yourself… 

  1. Always initiating sex and taking control 
  2. Agreeing with your partner, and doing what you’re told 
  3. Finding ways to trick your partner into sex, even if they’re not in the mood 
  4. Feel like you’re constantly neglected or being taken advantage of 

Q While in the act, do you ensure that… 

  1. You make suggestions, and expect your partner to obey 
  2. You obey your partner, even if you’re uncomfortable 
  3. Your sexual needs are met no matter what 
  4. You ask for what you want but let it go when you’re ignored 

Q When it comes to experimenting… 

  1. You believe sex is fun, the kinkier the better 
  2. You prefer to be bossed around 
  3. You just do what you want because you can 
  4. You’re detached because your opinions don’t matter 

Q Sex for you is… 

  1. Being in control of your own pleasure 
  2. Letting your partner control your orgasm 
  3. Taking what you want, when you want it 
  4. Unenjoyable and boring 

Q An aphrodisiac for you is… 

  1. A little bondage and watching your partner plead for a release 
  2. Relinquishing control, and not knowing what to expect in bed 
  3. Constant reassurance that you’re the best they’ve ever had 
  4. Finally being able to orgasm

Q When it comes to gratification, you are… 

  1. Confident that you can meet your partner’s needs and be satisfied in return 
  2. Excited by the prospect of complete obedience 
  3. Positive that you’ll climax since you take what you want 
  4. Faking to please your partner, and end up finishing yourself off 

Q Would you rather… 

  1. Take your time and savour every moment with your partner 
  2. Let go and give in to the pleasure you’re experiencing 
  3. Get it over with as soon as you climax 
  4. Sleep with multiple partners in the hope of gratification


Mostly As: You identify with the dominant sexual archetype. 

People who prefer the dominant role tend to call the shots during sexual interactions. They won’t only initiate sex, but will also lead the act. A dominant will suggest different positions, guide their partner through the kissing and touching, and be more assertive about what steps they will take to move through the sexual act. However, a person who is dominant in the bedroom may not necessarily be so in life. 

Ideal positions: Doggy style, lowered doggy style, and the V. 

Mostly Bs: You display a preference for the submissive sexual archetype. 

Submissive personalities have a ‘go-with-the-flow’ approach to sex, and are open to their partner’s suggestions. The like being told what to do. However, I believe that people with submissive sexual personalities are truly the dominant ones. People who enjoy a submissive position in sexual encounters are decisive, strong, and sure about who they are, and what they like. They choose to submit, which makes them the ones with the true power in a sexual relationship.

Ideal positions: A submissive archetype works well with the dominant one, and will prefer the same positions. 

Mostly Cs: If you’ve answered mostly C, you belong to the entitled sexual archetype, and are narcissistic in bed. 

Moreover, you tend to manipulate and exploit your partner’s affections, and focus on feeding your sexual appetites. People with this sexual archetype are solely concerned with feeding their own needs because their appetite overshadows any other concern, and have no empathy or interest in a partner’s sexual satisfaction, or sexual experiences—unless if meeting their partner’s needs will benefit their own desires. 

Ideal positions: Cowgirl, reverse cowgirl, and doggy style. 

Mostly Ds: If your response to most questions is D, you are a martyr. 

While you certainly can have satisfactory sex, you tend to hold out for ‘the one’. This doesn’t mean your sexual desires have diminished. It simply means you always find yourself with the wrong partner. Such people tend to meet the same kind of lover, in the hope of meeting the perfect mate one day. They go from partner to partner, feeling increasingly helpless, hopeless, and unsatisfied.

Ideal positions: Missionary, giver of oral sex, and cowgirl.

Hot kisses, 

Gabrielle Moore

P.S. Check out my program – Bigger and Deeper – for more of your erotic questions answered. You’ll learn how to last longer, how to improve your erection and how to make your woman happy.

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