If the term morning sex sounds like an oxymoron, then no offense, but you’re in need of a wake-up call. Don’t worry, though…it’s a fun one.
Most couples habitually have sex at night, because that tends to be when it’s most convenient. But our bodies are actually primed for stronger orgasms right after we wake up. The a.m. brings surges of testosterone to both men and women, increasing libido and heightening genital sensitivity—particularly the strength of his erection. (It’s called morning wood, not morning cork, for a reason.) Not to mention, it should be easier to reach climax in the first place, since Murphy’s Law (anything that can go wrong will go wrong) hasn’t had a chance to set in.
But there are major mental perks to early romps too: Sex is, hands down, a fabulous stress reliever, mood lifter, and relationship enhancer (courtesy of a release of feel-good hormones). So by getting frisky first thing, you set yourself up for a calmer, happier day. Plus, for most, doing the deed increases energy, a recent survey shows, surprisingly. Not to say that nighttime sex is a waste, but you definitely get more, uh, bang for your buck by mixing up your mating schedule.
Of course, we know mornings can be a bit frantic—and, well, seriously unsexy. Here’s how to flip the script for action as hot and stimulating as your trusty cup of coffee.
And for more information on how you can enjoy a boner for the ages, check out this Hard On Method by my friend and leading sex expert Jack Grave. Here, he talks in depth about one thrusting technique in particular, called the Deep Flick, which gives women wild orgasms AND help you last longer.
If you’re always rushing and cranky
The obvious answer is to wake up earlier, but without real motivation, that’s a futile ask. Consider this: If your boss requested an early meeting, you’d make time for it. We often blow off sex because it doesn’t seem like an immediate need for our partner, but making a conscious effort to be intimate is almost more important than the intimacy itself. If that doesn’t get you to rise early, pinpoint major time-sucks (say, choosing an outfit, drying your hair) and do those the night before. Or fold your partner into your routine: “I’m taking a quick shower—care to join?” Whenever time anxiety or crabbiness kills your mojo, remember that it’s almost impossible to feel grouchier after sex.
If you have way different schedules
In an ideal world, you’d compromise so that you both get up and go at each other around the median of your wake-up times (as in, your bedmate rises at five and you at seven, so six would be your magic hour). But if that’s not possible, find opportunities to catch her off guard. Playfulness and surprise are two elements that couples forget to incorporate over time, but they’re also two we secretly long for. They have a reciprocal effect as well—meaning the more you beguile your S.O., the more they’ll want to do the same for you. When she’s getting dressed, pull out her laciest thong and say, “Hey, what about wearing these today. Let me see how they look on you.” Or when they’re checking their email, send them a sexy picture from the other room, with a text like, “Waiting for you.…” Spontaneity makes excitement practically a given.
If you feel less than desirable
Particularly with newer partners, you might feel uneasy before you’ve brushed your teeth, or showered. No shame! Just know that as your biggest critic, your mindset is much more likely to kill the mood than how you look (or smell). You could also experiment with positions that aren’t face-to-face, like spooning or reverse cowgirl. (“Let’s try this new position!” is a great cover.) And maybe keep breath strips by the bed. That’s the only morning symptom worth caring about.
If you have kids
Have you tried locking the door? Probably, and you’re still interrupted—or distracted. We get it. But if your children can be left alone in their bed (not crib) at night, they can likely be left at the table for a few minutes too. So go for a quickie, and amp the excitement by turning it into a challenge. Whisper in your partner’s ear, “The kids are eating breakfast; we have 10 minutes. Meet you in the bathroom.” For younger toddlers, you sorta have to commit to waking up before them. (The good news: It’s temporary.) If parent guilt hits, ignore it. Together time will improve your connection, so you can be better co-parents for the day…and for life.
P.S. Morning wood is amazing because there’s nothing quite like the feeling of being fully hard and able to make your partner moan with pleasure. Check out this program by my friend Jack Grave – it’s called Hard On Method and it teaches you everything you need to know about deep thrusting and lasting longer so that you can give your woman an unforgettable experience… both morning and night!