First time sex bloopers

First time sex bloopers

A romp between the sheets with someone you’ve just met is fun, but what if you encounter awkward situations during the act? I tell you how to deal with them.

You would assume that sex is always “perfect”, with no glitches. However, that’s far from the truth. A few situations are not in one’s control, and bedroom faux pas are more common than you think, especially when you’re with someone new. I tell you what could go wrong and how you could turn it into a lighter moment.

And since we’re on the topic of having sex with a new lady, let me help you get there as well. My friend Mike Wright’s Elixir of Eros program is packed full with information and tips and tricks on how to make any woman be drawn to you and beg you to be taken home for a night of passion. Mike will help you with this part, and below you’ll find my tips on how to make that first night memorable and accident-free. NOTE: This program was NOT created by me.

Gassy glitches

Strange noises (not the ones that turn your significant other on) can catch you unaware; imagine letting out a belch while kissing or hearing her stomach growl almost comically in response to the sweet nothings you’re whispering in her ears. Sounds like quite a scenario, doesn’t it?

What to do: It might seem like a buzz kill in that moment, but it shouldn’t be taken seriously. Yes, it’s embarrassing, but it’s not the end of the world. These are all bodily activities, and no one does it on purpose. Laugh about it, cuddle a bit, and you’ll find it’s perfectly okay.

Animal instinct

The million-dollar question that probably plagues pet owners across the world–is it all right to have your dog watch while you have sex? Experts have concluded dogs and cats consider things like sex normal unlike human beings who think of it as a private act. However, the jury’s still out on this. Your partner and you may feel extremely uncomfortable if you are being watched by your pet when you are in the throes of passion.

What to do: First things first, if you feel so strongly about it, make sure your pet is safe and secure, and doesn’t have access to your room— so bolts in place, please! If your pet does happen to wander in, and it bothers you, swiftly carry it out, and keep it a confined space until you are done. On the downside, the endorphins released during sex may send out signals to your dog that you’re upset or angry, so you may want to be a bit watchful about how your pet reacts to it. If it seems disturbed, aggressive, withdrawn or its behavior changes for the worse immediately after watching you and your partner in the act, ensure you don’t repeat it and antagonise them. In this case, prevention is definitely better than cure.

Safety first

Sometimes, in the middle of heated sex, the condom can slip off–and if you’re lucky, it’s accessible and you can pull it out. However, if the penetration has been deep, and you’ve just pulled out with the condom missing, you are stuck in a tricky situation.

What to do: Firstly, you should both stay calm. If your partner works herself up, her vaginal passage may contract, making it more difficult for you to yank out the condom. She should first try to remove it herself by squatting on the floor, inserting a finger and taking it out gently and gradually. She shouldn’t use any pointed tools like tweezers as there is a possibility of her injuring herself. If she’s still unable to get the condom out, you should seek professional help from a gynaecologist.

While the condom itself is not a problem because you can seek professional help to remove it, the real issue is the fact that you’ve both put yourselves at risk of STDs and unplanned pregnancies. So, to stay safe, get your partner and yourself tested to rule out any of these.

Sex-perimenting

It’s common for couples to try new positions to spruce things up in bed. Ever thought what if your attempt backfires?

What to do: No one is a gold-medal gymnast; perhaps it’s time to cut yourself some slack on the flexibility front. Give a new position time and effort to ease into; don’t expect to get it right initially, even straightforward sex takes time. Don’t push your partner or be pushed into doing something that’s beyond your physical capacity. Baby steps are fine. If you’re unwilling to take time and effort because the spontaneity matters more, stick to positions that you know are reliable, and work for you.

Hot kisses,

Gabrielle Moore

P.S. No two first-time sex stories are the same. But if there’s one thing that’s universally true, it’s that first-time sex is awkward, sweet, embarrassing, messy, nerve-wracking, and hilarious all at once. But how do you make sure you get in bed with that saucy stranger? Well, you follow my friend’s Mike Wright’s program – Elixir of Eros. He’ll show you exactly what you have to do to make women approach you and want to take you home. NOTE: This program was NOT created by me.

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