Some sex tips are for special-occasion sex – for those times when you want to shake things up a little. Whether you feel like your sex life is lagging or just feel like doing something new, the following eight tips are things I think every couple should try at least once in bed. Why? Because you never know, you might just love your newfound knowledge.
Be selfish in bed
Sometimes you need to put your pleasure first, ask for what you want and not worry about whether she’s having as good a time. Yes, it should be a balance, but if you’re always concerned about her, you won’t focus on you and may never discover what you like. The reverse is just as true – you should encourage your partner to put her pleasure first as well. Only when you’re both completely satisfied can you achieve the perfect sexual adventures.
Lube it up
Who knew one small tube could revolutionise your sex life? Just a little bit of quality lube can mean the difference between discomfort and ecstasy. There are plenty of factors that can affect a woman’s natural lubrication – dehydration, antihistamines, the Pill, stress, antidepressants, pregnancy and even breastfeeding; but you don’t have to need it to enjoy it. Adding a lubricant to your usual routine can intensify pleasure, enhance sensitivity, prolong activity, help prevent condoms from splitting and feel sensuous and stimulating.
Ask her to wear something seductive
Wearing a new set of underwear can really help boost a woman’s confidence in the bedroom. It gives her a chance to get into her zone and detach from everyday, normal life. But, just make sure that what she’s wearing is for both of you – if she is feeling itchy and uncomfortable just to please you, it isn’t going to make for memorable sex. If lingerie isn’t her thing, she could try a pair of stilettos or red-hot lipstick, instead. It’s like the sexual equivalent of a business suit.
Target your partner’s PS-spot
Introducing her PS-spot – the area directly opposite the G-spot, inside the vaginal canal. ‘PS’ stands for ‘perineal sponge’, a nerve-rich erectile tissue that swells during arousal and may appreciate a little manual stimulation. If you can be a tad heavy-handed with her clitoris, this is the perfect alternative. One patient told me, “My partner stimulated my PS-spot with his fingers during oral sex; it was a seriously intense experience for both of us.”
Watch porn together
Just as sex toys shouldn’t have to be a solo activity, adult films can be a couples’ thing too. Take the time to find something you both like – you’ll be surprised at how fun this can be.
Practice delayed gratification
It’s easy for things to end up cosy rather than steamy with a long-term partner. Take yourself back to the early days of getting together like teenagers and then going out for the evening before having sex. A delay will only build the suspense.
Dabble in domination and submission
No dungeon required, I promise. Instead of surprising your partner with a pair of handcuffs (though feel free if that’s your thing), start your adventure in domination and submission gently. Run the idea by your partner first and then invest in a good how-to book to get going.
Stop chasing the orgasm
When it’s not happening, the orgasm pressure can start to mount which makes everyone uncomfortable and tense. If it then does, it can feel a bit soulless after being chased so much. Sometimes you just have to accept it may not be your or their nights, and that’s fine – concentrate on just enjoying the ride. You never know, being more relaxed may help you both to be pleasantly surprised at the end of it.
P.S. For more information on how to improve your sex life once and for all, check out my program on the matter Vagina Masterclass, where you will discover the perfect tools for liberating the female orgasm.