“’Sex’ is as important as eating or drinking and we ought to allow the one appetite to be satisfied with as little restraint or false modesty as the other.” -Marquis de Sade
After spending a good deal of yesterday on my social media accounts I was left thinking about the way that we tend to compare our lives to others. Humans have always done it, but now in the age of social media and very little personal privacy every part of our lives end up on display. One can’t help but compare themselves to others. He has a better job, a bigger salary, a fancier car, a better vacation, is having better sex… wait, do we do it with sex and relationships too? ABSOLUTELY. This is probably the thing that we compare the most. That couple looks happier than we are, the touch each other more, “I bet their sex life is amazing,” they’re more in love, etc. etc. etc. It’s impossible to know if any of that is really true, but one thing is for sure, there is always someone who has it better, so stop comparing right now and focus on what you’re lucky enough to have. And I have something extra special for today’s article. I’m going to let you in on some of the sex secrets from the couples who DO have the best sex, the kind you would be jealous of. But you can have it too if you just follow their best tips.
1. Make love to get love – Especially for women, the more they have sex, the more interested in sex they are. The more you have sex, the more connected as a couple you will feel and the more turned on by each other you will feel. This applies to sex and all other forms of intimacy within the couple. Put the effort in. Sometimes one person might not feel like having sex or being intimate, but the other does. Desire doesn’t always have to be the first stage of a sexual encounter. Sometimes you (or she) might start foreplay with little desire, but once you get into it, it’s just as good as ever.
2. Be spontaneous – If there is one thing women hate it’s the same boring old routine. No matter how many times that sex move got her off, the 100th time you do it in a row, she’s bound to be sick of it by then. Surprise her. Surprise her with new tricks and moves in the bedroom. Surprise her with sex at a different time of day. Surprise her with sex in a different part of the house, in a different place altogether. Pull her down an alley, push her up against the wall and kiss her like you did when you first met. What you shouldn’t do is – off to bed, roll over, sex for 10 minutes, kiss, love you, goodnight! Get creative and change it up, men!
3. Do what works – Even though you need to be creative and keep things interesting, you don’t have to feel like you need to try anything that either of you aren’t comfortable with. If in an effort to spice things up you found yourself in a sex club and both of you wanted to bolt the minute you walked in the door, you may have gone too far. Keep things exciting, but remember to do what turns you on, you don’t need to be the kinkiest couple in town, if that’s not your bag.
4. Communicate – Tell her what you like. Ask her what she likes. Tell her how incredibly sexy you think she is. Tell her how good that feels. Tell her what a lucky guy you are. We tend to think that our partners already know how much we love and appreciate them, but you’d be surprised to know that most women in relationships feel underappreciated. You need to make sure your woman knows how much you value here, in the bedroom and out. She will reward you, believe me.
5. Don’t pressure her – You may have read about a hot new thing on Gabrielle Moore and are just dying to try it, but she’s not so keen. Pressuring her into doing it isn’t going to give you the experience you want. In fact, never put pressure on her or guilt her when it comes to your sexual relationship. This creates really negative feelings and that’s the last thing you want her associating with sex. Accept her for who she is.
As you can see, having an amazing sex life isn’t just about having the best moves and techniques. It’s also about paying attention to and cultivating the relationship. You can’t have one without the other. Give your lady some extra attention and loving this week and see how she reacts!
Wet kisses,
Gabrielle Moore