Orgasms during sex can be like rainbows: unpredictable and rare – well at least for many women. Ladies rank dead last in their likeliness to climax during their sexual encounters with a partner. In fact, while 75 percent of dudes say they always finish when getting it on, only 33 percent of women could say the same.
Yeah… I know. So not fair. And this pleasure gap between the sexes has been an issue for as long as women have been faking it (read: a very long time). But there are some explanations. Often, you guys don’t know what you’re doing. A big number of you assume vaginal intercourse alone will get most women off. In reality, however, only 20 to 30 percent of women can regularly hit a high note from penetration alone. The vast majority needs clitoral stimulation.
Add to the problem that some women are failing to have an open dialogue with you about the way they experience pleasure and orgasms. And what are you left with? A sex life in which you get your happy ending – while maybe thinking you’ve rocked her world too – and she lies there feeling unsatisfied.
Luckily, bridging the gap is possible – and you will be happy to help, because I know you want your partner to orgasm. Follow these tips and even the scorecard.
Find her hot zones
When you ask women how they masturbate, a very small percentage solely put something inside their vagina. But when they’re with a man, they think they should orgasm differently. With this in mind, spend some time running an external vibrator all over her body. Remember where she experiences toe-curling sensations so, later, you can focus on those spots.
Slow down foreplay
While you can go from normal to O face in 60 seconds, women’s bodies need more time to build arousal, which involves lubrication of and increased blood flow to her lady parts. When sex lasts longer than 30 minutes – and by sex, I’m counting everything – women are much more likely to orgasm. Pump the brakes by giving her a lengthy back massage, followed by an enticingly slow taking off of her clothes (maybe use your mouth to strip her bare?). Then take your time teasing her.
Ask her what she wants
No one can mind-read, so staying silent is the best mistake your partner can make. By not saying anything, she’s training you to do something that doesn’t work for her. Instead, have her guide you with cues like, “Touch me there”, “Harder”, “Faster” or “Why don’t we try this with me on top?” If no words come to mind, have her move your hands when she wants them and show you how it’s done.
The orgasm trifecta
The majority of women always or usually orgasm when sex is composed of these three moves…. and penetration is taken off the table.
Stop for a steamy make-out on your front porch before you head upstairs. (#SorryNotSorry, neighbors!)
Move the fingers pads of your pointer and middle finger in a windshield-wiper motion over her clitoris.
Think of her clitoris as a clock, and lick the one o’clock spot – a supersensitive part for women.
Double her pleasure, double your fun
These positions, adapted from my video courses, give you a free hand to handle her during the deed.
The very good morning
Have her lie on her stomach, and slide in from behind with your knees bent and arms supporting your weight at her sides. Move one of your hands down to her clitoris for double the feels.
The big V
While she’s on her back, open her legs wide into the air (making a V shape) and grab her ankles while you thrust. Rub her clitoris with one hand or twist her hips up against you.
Steamy slow jam
Have her lie on her side with you behind her, in spoon position. Lift her leg and enter her from behind. Rub her clitoris with your fingers or with a vibe.
P.S. For more steamy secrets of the female orgasm, check out my video program on the subject – Her Secret Hot Spots.