There’s a huge information gap when it comes to the female orgasm – and that’s not because there’s no relevant information on the subject, but because there’s too much of it, and sometimes contradictory.
With this particular conundrum in mind, I set out to discover what, exactly, makes for the most bone-rattling, foundation-shaking female orgasms, and what you can do to encourage their arrival. So here, finally, everything you need to know about helping your lady have stronger, longer orgasms. One warning before we begin: be prepared for surprises, and for seeming contradictions. It turns out the female orgasms are both as single-minded as they sometimes seem, and the same time a lot more complicated. As sensitive as women are to skill and technique, they’re equally powered by mood, setting, and timing. The fun – for her, for you – is in mixing up the following strategies to see what will work tonight. So have at it.
Hold back the goods – tonight and tomorrow
Ask any woman after a particularly long dry spell — abstinence is the world’s most powerful aphrodisiac. Even when you’re not separated by distance, you can contribute to that pent-up, dying-to-make-love state of mind by deploying some sexual teasing tactics during the day. I suggest “accidentally” flashing your big guy at her in the morning, or giving her a lascivious phone call at the office. You can plant a sexual seed that will flower that night into a stronger orgasm.
Intercept her drive to the finish line
In your heart of hearts, you know that the longer the foreplay, the stronger the orgasm, for yourself as well as for your partner. But at the same time, you have this incredibly powerful drive to simply come, come, come! You can’t help it: It’s been hardwired into your sexual circuitry over thousands of years. The trick for you is to set aside this evolutionary imperative so that sex lasts long enough for a truly eventful climax to build. Set the tone for longer, more languorous sex by starting things off with a slow, sensual back rub. Other delaying tactics can be brought into play as the festivities progress. Stopping for an occasional cooling-off period works beautifully, but takes discipline. The woman-on-top position is useful because it helps you restrain your urge to start thrusting.
Torture her (nicely!)
A more extreme version of extending the foreplay is called “edging,” where you get her right up to the yes, edge, and then back off. You stop before you experience climax, and simmer, then repeat that a few times. It builds up the energy so that you have a more, well, explosive and intense orgasm. Of course, let her know if that’s your plan, otherwise she might just think you’re being mean.
Surprise her with a quickie
Arousal is a mysterious and powerful thing, and sometimes the frenzied abandon of a quick and lustful coupling can produce a climax that’s every bit as explosive as a marathon session in the sack. I suspect this has something to do with that centuries-old sexual circuitry I mentioned: Sex without ceremony can tap into deep reservoirs of animal instinct. I personally had one of my strongest orgasms when my partner overpowered me as I innocently came home from work one night — pieces of clothing were scattered between the front door and the bedroom. I’m sure the fact that he was the instigator added fuel to the fire.
Go straight for her most prized possession
It’s not really politically correct to admit this, but the truth is that when orgasm is imminent, there’s only one female erogenous zone, and you know where it is. That doesn’t mean women don’t like to be kissed or caressed, but when it comes to orgasm, you can start and end with the vaginal area. It makes sense, therefore, that when women are out for the most lustful orgasms, their positions of choice tend to be those that provide the most direct clitoral and vaginal stimulation. For pure physicality, rear entry is the way to go. There’s more friction, more depth… You can also try woman on top, especially reverse cowgirl.
P.S. The biggest secret about women’s orgasm though is being in the moment – showing love, acceptance and intimacy. I can talk for hours about technique, but the best way to start is by telling your lady how much you love her, and meaning it. For more information about the female orgasm, check out my program Her Secret Hot Spots.