All of the guys that visit my site and read my articles have one important thing in common: they want to be better lovers and they come to me to find out how to do it. One dilemma a lot of guys have is that they don’t know if the things they are doing are pleasing their partners. Does she like that? Was she writhing around in pleasure or squirming away from me? Could she be faking it? How do I know?
Well, if you have been reading my articles for a while you already know that I am a big advocate of clear and healthy communication, but sometimes it’s hard to have. Even if you want to be able to communicate with your partner about sex, she might not be on board for it. She might be too embarrassed or uncomfortable to talk to you about it. But, not too worry, that doesn’t mean all hope is lost.
Today I’m going to share with you the signs to know if she’s faking those amazing orgasms you think you’re giving here. After all, even if she’s faking it with good intentions (to make you feel good), you want to know if what you’re doing is actually having the desired effect!
You think she doesn’t like/need foreplay – I would be surprised if this was true. If you think your partner either doesn’t like foreplay or doesn’t need it, it just might mean that you haven’t been doing it right or long enough. She might say that she’s not into it so it doesn’t prolong the process if she already knows she’s not going to cum in the end.
Her body changes… During female orgasm the body goes through certain changes. There are some that can be faked (or some women that might experience certain changes differently), like heavy breathing, moaning and the like. But then there are other things a person just can’t fake no matter what they do. One is the change that happens to the clitoris when she is close to orgasm. The clit will fill with blood and swell as a woman is getting more and more turned on. When she is close to orgasm the clitoral head with retract within the body. It’s easier to notice if you’re going down on her, but you should also be able to tell if your stimulating her manually during sex.
Another sure sign of an orgasm is that her vaginal and anal muscles will spasm and contract. You may or may not be able to feel this if you’re inside of her but you can pay attention to see if she seems to be shuddering with these contractions.
Her lips will also swell and redden, she might start to sweat a little, her pupils will dilate, and her heart rate will increase. Also be on the look out for hard nipples.
She jumps right out of bed after – Just like you, women are left a little dazed and confused after an orgasm. If she is popping right out of bed and going into the bathroom, you might have a sign that she didn’t actually cum. However, if she needs a minute or two to recuperate in bed, you probably don’t have anything to worry about.
What to Do About it
So, if you think you might have a faker on your hands, what should you do? First of all, you should never accuse her. You will never be able to know 100% for sure if she was faking unless she tells you, so accusing her will just upset her and cause a fight. Try to understand why she might fake it. Many women feel a lot of pressure to cum because it’s so important to their partners. They enjoy sex immensely, but don’t always have orgasms, but the pressure their partner puts on “finishing” makes her feel guilty about not being able to deliver. Sex should always be about pleasure and good feelings. Try to accept that women don’t need to cum every time in order to enjoy sex. Stop pressuring her to have an orgasm and just focus more on letting her enjoy it, no matter what the end result is.
You can also try to have a conversation with her about it, but you need to be careful. As I mentioned you never want to accuse her of faking, so there are a few other things you can try. Take the focus off orgasms by not saying, I want you to come, but I want you to feel good. Ask what she likes and what you can do to make her feel better. Don’t take it personally when she doesn’t orgasm. Don’t make her orgasm about you!