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What’s your number one sex-related question?

Sex Tips for Couples

What’s your number one sex-related question?

“I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself” – Johnny Carson

You’ve got the anatomy bit nailed, but biology can’t answer the really important sex questions – like where to start when looking for a sex toy or how to make sure your partner orgasms every time. I can: here’s practical advice on everything sex-related.

We go to classes to get fitter, watch TED Talks to get smarter, negotiate our salaries to get richer. Great sex is expected to jus… happen. By magic. Film and porn present sex as simple and effortlessly obtained, with everyone having vast quantities of orgasmic partnered sex. The rest of us wonder where we fit in if we are not experiencing it like that.

We need to become more committed to learning about our pleasure, and abolish the idea that speaking about sex – that asking too many questions about it – is shameful, dirty or taboo.

Hell yes to that! In response, I’ve rounded up a a group of the most burning questions you might have about sex and I’ve answered each and every one of them.

”How do I make my partner orgasm the normal way? That is, during intercourse.”

Let’s lose a word from that sentence: normal. I constantly get men feeling bad if their partners can’t orgasm “the normal way”, which they only see as vaginal penetration. I often hear, “My partner is having clitoral orgasms but I want you to teach me how to also have vaginal orgasms.” Or, “I gave her an orgasm but it was with my finger.” And my response is always this: since when was there a hierarchy of orgasms? When we start giving things a hierarchy that’s just too much pressure. Let’s just call them all orgasms. Plus, P in V isn’t the be-all and end-all. There are so many other ways to make your partner come. If she’s not having vaginal orgasms with your penis inside her, don’t worry. Most women – around 70 per cent – don’t. And because of where the clitoris is situated, it makes perfect sense that it’s harder to attain. Just use your hand or a vibrator during sexual intercourse and you’ll manage to give her a double route to pleasure. And stop thinking that things can only happen one way. When you do that, you’ll enjoy whatever is going on a lot more.

“How on earth to I buy a sex toy?”

It might be a little on the obvious side, but first things first – just walk in to the shop. People get consumed by the terror of being in a sex shop, but the Internet can never depict the size, shape, feel, controls or noise of a toy. I see many toys touted as waterproof, super-loud vibes labelled “whisper quiet”, straight dildos that claim to hit the G-Spot. Get your hands on things – your visceral reaction will tell you a lot. Think about what you want from it. Do you want to insert it in your partner’s vagina, stimulate her clitoris, or both? Do you want something that you can use on your body as well? Do you like pressure pinpointed on one spot or broader? After that, it’s pretty much a question of what features you require. If you’re planning on using it in the bath, you’re going to need something submersible. If you need to be quiet, don’t go for sheer power (there’s also an accompanying noise level). The key ingredients are a range of different vibration intensities, from very low to powerful, with many levels in between.

“How do I get from so-so sex to great sex?”

When it comes to sex, there is no magic number or “right” technique. Actually, when it comes to sex, we’re 50 Shades of Confused. Why? Because we romanticize sex to be multiple-orgasmic, energetic and coordinated. The reality is that sex is often pretty clumsy: inserting, and then withdrawing, sweating, slipping and sliding. People invest more effort into deciding whether to trim their pubic hair or not than in learning to talk about sex. Great sex doesn’t only mean wild chemistry or a wild sex position – it’s putting your piece of mind first, and simply just bringing it up. Yep, you heard it here first, a seriously mind-blowing orgasm is just one conversation away. Too easy. You’ve totally got this.

“It’s my first time trying anal sex with my partner! How do I do it?”

If you’re feeling quite intrigued and are keen to give it a go, the most important thing you have to know is that it doesn’t have to be painful for your partner. The important thing is to help her relax her mind and body before going at it. How to start? A finger brushing around the area will get her used to how it feels. If she enjoys that contact and is ok with trying something deeper, use plenty of lubricant as the anus doesn’t produce it’s own natural wetness (like a vagina).

Hot kisses,

Gabrielle Moore

P.S. Click here to discover more tips of the trade about the best ways to kickstart your sex life! USE PROMO CODE: GABY1217

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7 Comments

7 Comments

  1. Dianne Jordan-Rogers

    April 16, 2016 at 12:21 am

    I get alot of things about women I am female and actually wanna know how to pkease my man

  2. Ben

    April 16, 2016 at 12:47 am

    Concerning the first topic, Vaginal orgasm during penetration, I can say as a man that giving a vaginal orgasm to my partner while penetrating her in missionary position is the most intimate and satisfying sexual experience I have with a woman. Not that there is a universal hierarchy. To each there own preference. But my partner has also told me, since she orgasm from penetration, that she prefers that to clitoral stimulation with my finger. It took a lot of experimenting though before she could orgasm from penetration alone. The first few months she could only come with finger stimulation of her clit. It was worth all the work and experimenting. By now she orgasm through penetration (in missionary) at least 95% of the time. It’s really intimate because we are face to face, I can kiss her, look at her, etc in this position. However, an advice for other guys is to not put pressure on your partner or be impatient. Have fun experimenting and finding out what she likes (the angle, rhythm, and depth of penetration, and the types of foreplay she likes). This works better in long term relationships though. You get to know your partner so well and become an expert in pleasure her specifically.

  3. mike

    April 16, 2016 at 1:28 am

    I can’t cum, I can go all night! I get so close but it just never happens. What is the problem?

  4. lakshman Chandrashekhar

    April 16, 2016 at 9:07 am

    You are simply amazing. Articles are superb. Need more information. Thank you.

  5. rahul

    April 16, 2016 at 9:45 am

    hi
    i love using the techniques and its amazing.i all the time think about sex now

  6. M

    April 18, 2016 at 5:12 pm

    Dear Gaby,

    I’m writing and responding to you after a long long time. Let me start with some honest and heartfelt statements:

    Gaby! You are really The QUEEN OF EROTIC SECRETS!!!!!!!

    You are so effective in enkindling the fire of sexual desire in the centre of the soul, that it becomes very hard for me to distinguish the coresponding emotions from my spiritual experiences.

    I probably seem to be like a philosopher from the East. Maybe I am. I really do not know. I do not know how to distinguish a philosopher from any common man.

    However, let me conclude with a very heartfelt compliment to you :

    You are truly truly equipped with a supreme sense of practical and highly sensuous eroticism.

    Please keep this email as a piece of very private communication.

    Thank you for your intimate emails.

    With love,
    M

  7. Tam Pham

    February 15, 2017 at 11:59 pm

    Thanks Gabby for all your great sex tips.
    I just wonder what you have to say about “Anilingus”

    With Much Love,
    Tam

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