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Make sex more erotic

Sex Tips for Couples

Make sex more erotic

“Sex is the most beautiful thing that can take place between a happily married man and his secretary.” – Barry Humphries

Amp up the electricity in the bedroom by pushing the boundaries. Don’t worry, you’ll want to do this stuff. All couples – even those with amazing sexual chemistry and compatibility – experience a dip in their excitement at some point. But there’s a way to resuscitate that bedroom rush, and it comes down to just three little words: shaky-bridge sex. It’s a term derived from an experiment conducted by two psychologists – Arthur Aron and Donald Dutton – to explore the relationship between danger and sexual allure.

Here’s what Aron and Dutton did: they had an attractive female stand at the center of a shaky bridge, and whenever a solo man crossed the bridge, she asked him to fill out a questionnaire. Then she gave him her phone number and told him, flirtatiously, that he could call her at home if he wanted to talk further. Later, the same woman did the same thing on a nearby bridge that was much sturdier.

As it turned out, the men from the shaky bridge were more likely to call. The reason? Researchers theorized that the men were propelled by the fear and excitement of crossing the shaky bridge. The upshot: when it comes to sexual attraction, a little danger really revs things up. Fortunately, what I’ve learned from my practice is that you don’t have to risk life and limb to amp up your arousal potential. You just have to create your own shaky-bridge sex. How? Follow these titillating tricks.

Get her to think dirty

At the heart of the shaky-bridge study was the idea of excitation transfer. Translation: you tend to associate the exhilaration you feel when you’re in danger with the person you’re with.

So start getting your girl pumped up by doing something unexpected before you even get to the bedroom. For instance, when the two of you are at a drugstore, toss a pack of condoms into the shopping basket to let her know you have sex on your mind. Or if you’re shopping for clothes, pull her into the dressing room and say something outrageous, like “I’d like to have sex with you right here.” The point is to do or say something seductive and surprising; you don’t even have to follow through.

Be creative

Whisper a naughty story in her ear. Think about a sexy taboo situation that you’d never act out… and be prepared to give the details. Just helping her to imagine stepping out of her comfort zone can get her adrenaline racing.

Maybe the story involves letting her watch you pleasure yourself. You can push the erotic envelope even further by introducing some light bondage and tying her hands to the bed. Don’t worry about whether she can easily escape – the idea of being held captive is thrilling enough.

Catch her off guard

Remember that scene in Match Point when Scarlett Johansson and Jonathan Rhys Meyers enter her apartment and she uses his tie to blindfold him and then unbuttons his shirt with his back to her? Make like Scarlett and ambush your woman. Almost all women fantasize about submitting to a strong, passionate man, but they typically feel pressure to let the men hold the reins on what should be done in the bedroom… and they also tend to be a little reluctant about revealing their secret desires.

So give her what she wants without making her ask for it. Push her up against the wall or throw her on the bed and strip off her clothes… but keep yours on. That lets her know that you’re in charge, which heightens the sense of danger.

Then blindfold her. If you don’t have a tie, use a scarf or even her stockings. Not being able to see what you’re about to do to her adds to the thrill. Plus, cutting off one sense (her sight) intensifies the others. So turn her on to a sensual smorgasbord: vary the pressure of your touches, don’t censor your sounds of excitement, let her taste your skin, and keep mixing up your moves so she’s continually on high alert.

Be a voyeur

Place her hand on her vagina, and tell her you want to watch her touch herself. Most women are private about masturbation, yet many are secretly into the idea of doing it in front of a man. It’s the embodiment of submission and vulnerability. Tell her to stare into your eyes as she pleases herself; you want to see the longing. Better yet, grab a video camera and tape the action. If she gets nervous, tell her you’ll destroy the tape when she’s done. But for now, she’s your personal porn star.

Switch up the venues

Uncertainty is at the heart of creating a sexy sense of danger, so keep relocating your sack session. If you start in the bedroom, take a time-out, grab her hand, and tell her to follow you. When she asks where you’re going, tell her to be quiet; she’ll find out. Maybe you’ll lead her into the bathroom for a steamy shower or into the living room to fool around on the floor. With shaky-bridge sex, it’s not the place that’s important; it’s all about an adventurous state of mind… and that follows you wherever you go.

Have a sexy week,

Gabrielle Moore

P.S. To make the sack session more arousing, tempt and tease her entire body all through the sexual act. Make her go wild… literally!

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