“It is not sex that gives you pleasure, but the lover.” – Marge Piercy
Feeling generous? Treat your partner to an expert fingering job tonight and watch her body melt. When you think about all the sexy stuff you can do to a woman, a fingering job probably doesn’t top the list. Chances are, you haven’t even given one in forever and have moved on to more exotic-seeming fare in the boudoir. However, that throwback appeal can be a turn-on for both of you. It reminds you of your first sexual encounters and the anticipation you felt back then. Plus, the fact that she’s not expecting it adds a thrill.
Your hands are also capable of delivering a particular kind of sensation unrivalled by either oral sex or intercourse. The hurdle, however, is that good manual stimulation is the one thing girls can do for themselves. And they do it well. That’s why you need to offer up some fresh, fun benefits that surpass her own skills. Here’s how to throw her disco ball a wild party she won’t forget in a hurry.
Step 1: Create some heat.
Build up anticipation during foreplay by kissing her and running your hands all over her body, avoiding her crotch. After a few minutes, touch her over her pants. The dull sensation of being stroked through the fabric arouses her. Gently squeeze, rub and grind against her. Slowly undo her jeans and caress her labia and clitoris over her underwear. Give her an intense stare to underscore how much you crave her. Now remove her panties – and get her super-wet. Hold one labia with one hand, and lightly slap the other one with your other fingers. This increases blood flow to the area. You can also tap it back and forth between your hands, and softly pinch the skin. Then massage her. Apply lube to your palms, and rub her down there area like you’re lathering lotion onto it. The more aroused she is, the more pressure she can handle.
Step 2: Ramp it up.
Your partner will be steamed up by now, so really get into it. Switching your grip or rhythm every 30 to 60 seconds not only keeps him guessing but also shows you’re enthusiastic – a huge turn-on. However, when she gets closer to orgasm, it’s better to stick with a single technique. Try these moves: squeeze steadily using mild pressure, or squeeze and release rapidly for a vibrating sensation. Insert two lubricated fingers inside her vagina while you use your forefinger to tap steadily on her clitoris. Or wrap four fingers together and stroke up and down. Finally, while stroking her vagina with one hand, use your other hand to rub her anus softly, until the point of insertion. Tease her out by inserting and quickly pulling out the tip of your finger on and on, while rubbing her clitoris up and down and in circles.
Step 3: Work the grand finale.
Now, focus on the clitoris, which has more nerve endings than any other area and loves extra stimulation as she approaches orgasm. Rub your thumb in a tiny figure eight pattern over it, or try the windshield-wiper move: glide your thumb from side to side along the rim where the head of the clitoris begins, then move your thumb up and over the top several times. Once she has almost reached the finish line, consistency is key. Apply firm pressure, and move your hands quickly up and down. Maintain a steady rhythm and stroke. When she comes – this part is crucial – don’t stop until she pulls your hand away. Women experience orgasmic contractions in spurts. To bring her maximum pleasure, you need to keep the stimulation going. She’ll thank you for bringing back the old-school handy – and with a serious bang.
Have a great week,
P.S. Hands-on loving is nice, but whatever you do, don’t practice a de-stressing technique from your new acupuncture class on it.