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Your guide to giving her a better orgasm

“The orgasm is simply when the body does take over”– Betty Dodson

You like sex. It’s hardwired into your brain somewhere between your ability to wee standing up and your fear of commitment. You like it quick, slow, rushed, dirty, drunk and, sometimes, deceitful. You like it. Period.

The thing is, your penis is a fairly user-friendly device- with pepper spray being about the only thing that worries you. So, you sometimes forget that her lady bits work rather differently and you can lose touch with how she’s feeling during sex. Which kind of kisses her orgasm goodbye.

Therefore, since I know you could do with a couple of pointers in the bedroom, while I’m also aware that your girlfriend is too shy to tell you what she’d like, I set out on a mission of pleasure discovery, asking women what they’d want men to do to them when it comes to the ever-so-elusive orgasm.  Here’s a seven steps learning sheath that you’ll need to learn by heart. I mean it.

  1. Get to know the clitoris. If you’ve been reading my books or this blog, you’ve probably figured out where the clitoris is. The problem is you’re likely stimulating just the tip of the iceberg. Imagine the clitoris as an eagle, perched at the top end of the vulva, with the shaft as the bird’s body and its wings spread to straddle both sides. These wings are made of erectile tissue, and pump full of blood when she’s aroused- just like your penis. There’s lots more to stimulate than just the pea-sized tip you’re used to, so start exploring.


  1. All you have to do is ask. Find out what really turns her on, what her fantasies are and what she’s curious about. Women can get embarrassed and don’t want to bruise your ego, but it’s crucial for you to know. Sometimes it’s as important to find out her turn-offs, too. Maybe those footy socks you wear to bed repel her, or that deodorant reminds her of her dad. Her answers might shock you, but they’ll lead to better sex and a stronger relationship.


  1. Talk the TALK. Be a master of verbal intercourse. Don’t just tell her you love her, tell her why. Explain the little everyday she does that make you smile. Tell her that her body is beautiful and that you’ve been thinking about her all day. Whisper into her ear during sex, and talk dirty if you think it is appropriate. If you engage her mind well enough, her body will soon follow.


  1. Make friends with her vibrator. Don’t think of it as a replacement, but rather, another tool for the job at hand. It can work really well when held up against her clitoris while you’re inside her, and if she’s finding it hard to climax, let her use it on herself while this is happening. The coolest thing a guy can do is ask if she can take her vibrator to bed with you.


  1. Have more foreplay. It might be stating the obvious, but it’s still not happening enough. A lot of men get used to the porn ideal that women want it fast, quick and easy- when it’s not the case. Find out her hot spots and take your time. Try kissing her neck, collarbone area, ears and inner thighs. Avoid going directly to the traditional fun zones and the wait really will be worth it.


  1. Stop her faking it. Make it clear that it won’t be an issue if she doesn’t orgasm. Remember, more that 50 percent of women can’t reach The Big O with penetration alone, so don’t take it personally. Touch her with lubed-up fingers and give her lots of good oral sex. Also, don’t ask her every five minutes if she came. Nothing is worse than being on the brink and you choosing that moment to pop back up and asking if it’s going to happen soon.


  1. Keep up the kisses. Not only do women like being kissed more than you, guys, but they place more importance on the way you are kissing them. The lips have heaps of nerve endings that stimulate her desire and keep her aroused. Passionate kisses also raise her blood pressure, get her excited and, ultimately, bring her closer to the promised land. And pay close attention to the central ridge of her upper lip- the ancient Greeks called this the most erogenous zone in the body for a reason. Oh, and remember, shoving your tongue down her throat was ok when you were 14, but so was collecting footy cards, and you’re not doing it anymore, are you?

Have a sweet and sensual week,

Gabrielle Moore

P.S. If you love her, most of these moves will come naturally, so it’s good to focus on the emotional aspects also. Keep communicating!

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Take a look at what is being said about this article.
  1. walter

    It seems that wimen like to hear dirty talk? I subscribed to a dating site and had a lot of responce when I talk dirty to a women they mail me back that my mails make them wet and that they had to finger themselves to orgasm, is it so that wimen like dirty pictures and dirty talk?

  2. rtichard

    i like all gaberelles books ive been tring to find them in the library

  3. Omar

    Thank you Gabrielle, I have read all your postings sent to me and will like to say that you have changed my sex life so much for the better that I cannot live without your emails and advice. I have become so used to learning more and more techniques that no other was able to explain in the pasy years of my life. Thank you so much and keep in touch…

  4. evafaith

    Tanx, I really enjoined this article, more of it pls!

  5. Shari

    I think these points can never be stressed to much. I have to remind my husband every now and then that I need more foreplay. He’s great about it for awhile but then he needs to be reminded again.

    While it’s true that most women can’t orgasm from penetration alone that’s no reason that she shouldn’t have an orgasm every time you make love. Nearly all women can orgasm from orally and/or manually stimulating the clitoris so there is no excuse. I mean how would you feel if you didn’t cum half the time you had sex? Would you be excited to have sex again? Not so much I bet.

    I totally agree with using a vibrator during sex. We have a little one that fits on my finger and I use it on myself while he’s inside me. We both love it.

    The idea of verbal intercourse is great but you have to know what your woman likes. I love when my husband says he loves me and tells me all the reasons why OUTSIDE of the bedroom, when we’re having sex I want him to tell me all the naughty things he plans on doing to me and what he wants me to do to him. However many women are really turned off by sexually explicit talk. You better find out what she likes beforehand.

  6. Nicko

    Gabrielle, you you revived my sex life. Your advice is just too helpful to be ignored. Before I started reading your articles, things never used to work my way when it came to sex. Now things have changed and I have become like a super star in bed.

  7. kajob

    Thanks Garielle for solving my problem so far.

  8. lovely

    ya walter,women really like dirty talk and its a great turn on.but most men are sooo inpatient,all they want is to get it in…how can one tell a partner that rest completely,to rise his body during intercourse witout hurting his feelings?i’ve tried pushing him up gently and his wold stir and say ha…den lay back flat on the chest.

  9. lrydere

    The library thanks, and I’m learning alot more.

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