“There is the pleasurable orgasm, like a rising sales graph, and there is the unpleasurable orgasm, slumping ominously like the Dow Jones in 1929.”- William S. Burroughs
Making sure that your girlfriend or wife has a body-numbing orgasm shouldn’t remain in the realm of the “much imagined, never obtained”. You can help her hit the high note every time, not just on special occasions. In order to achieve the status of master of sex, first you need to be aware of what’s making her orgasm weak or even… non-existent. And then you can work from there.
#1. She fakes it but she doesn’t make it.
The first few times a woman has sex with a new man, she usually puts an act to stroke his ego. When she gets to be more comfortable around him and feels she’s ready to trade in the counterfeit for the real deal, she realizes it’s harder than she would have thought.
Perfect comeback: First of all, don’t blame her for this. Many women resort to faking- especially at the start of a relationship. They feel they have to show off, otherwise you’ll lose your interest. They aren’t comfortable enough to have a real orgasm yet, so they just go and fake one. But, as time goes by, they won’t want to sacrifice the real thing anymore, so they’ll stop the charade and make you work harder for a response. And work harder you must. From the way you kiss her, the time you dedicate to foreplay and your oral techniques, you have to have every trick possible in your sleeve. Better yet, if you communicate really well with your partner, ask her to give you a hands-on how to lesson. You’ll both feel rewarded after this.
#2. She’s mastered her domain alone
The only bellow the belt buzz she gets is the battery operated kind. She’s afraid she’s turning into a vibrator addict and that she soon won’t be able to feel any pleasure from real sex with a real man.
Perfect comeback: Accept the fact that she loves super intense, on-the-spot stimulation, and ask her to take her vibrator to bed with you. Who says she has to use it alone? It’s no different from sexy lingerie or any other sexual accoutrement. Bringing together her favorite toy and you, her real life lover, might be the best decision you’d ever made as a couple, as far as sexual satisfaction is concerned. She’ll thus get the precision of masturbation and the turn-on of intercourse. Example: While you thrust, pass the vibrator against her clitoris. All she’ll say are these three words: Oh my God! Don’t see her little technological buddy as a challenge to your manhood. Learn to maneuver it and you’ll be in charge of her pleasure and the number of deliciously intense orgasms she gets to have.
#3. She keeps her climax to herself
She holds herself back because she’s afraid of what an orgasm might make her do, or say.
Perfect comeback: An all too common reason for the climax cover-up? She’s afraid she won’t live up to your expectations. Hollywood has conned us into thinking we’re supposed to look sexy when we climax, but that’s not reality. Having an orgasm means losing control, and that includes facial expressions and the sounds that come out of our mouths. I had a friend, Mackenzie, 25, who, when she neared orgasm, got red ears and blotches on her chest and neck. She used to be so embarrassed by it that she’d pull away if she was really turned on. If you suspect her of this, talk to her and explain that these exterior signs, on the contrary, are turning you own, since they are an unfakable sign of approval and absolute pleasure. Once she forgets about how she looks and sounds in the sack, you’ll both be able to just go with the orgasmic flow.
#4. She doesn’t feel the earth move
She hears about other women’s bed-shaking climaxes, but all she feels is a little tingle. She’d wish she found the secret of turning her ripple into a tidal wave.
Perfect comeback: Her orgasm is roaring like a… mouse, because she’s probably way too tensed. Try doing it in a position that allows her to keep her head over the bed. Something about tightening and releasing large muscle groups- especially the neck muscles- triggers orgasm. That’s how Bianca, 32, a friend of mine, took sex to a new level. She had been trying different positions with her fiancée, and at some point she ended up hanging upside down off the mattress. She couldn’t believe how intense everything felt. The pleasure built up to one of the biggest orgasms she’d ever had in a matter of seconds.
The most successful trick is though to stop thinking and start feeling. If she worries too much, the blood drains from her pelvis and clitoris and goes to her brain, which lessens the power of her orgasm. Help her relax by slowing the pace down a bit and paying more attention to her needs. If she stops analyzing every move and just enjoys what you’re doing to her, she’ll have the standing-ovation orgasm she craves.
Have a gorgeous week-end,
P.S. The key to all her orgasm problems is not just a better technique from you, her lover, but also a better communication. A problem that is acknowledged is half-solved.