“The only sin passion can commit is to be joyless”- Dorothy Sayers
Sensuality is what distinguishes pure carnal sex from a loving, intimate bonding between two people. Touching, caressing, holding, and kissing are as important to lovemaking as the act of intercourse.
Sensuality pertains to fully experiencing all of our senses, not just sensations in our genitals. Many parts of the body are sensual and can contribute to your enjoyment of sex. Although there is a great enjoyment in the orgasmic experience, you might be missing out on other sources of enjoyment by not giving pleasure to yourself and your partner with other forms of stimulation.
Setting the mood is the backbone of being intimately romantic and creating exciting variety in your love life, and it involves at least three different aspects of your lovemaking.
a) Get ready mentally
This refers to the importance of using your mind and will to fantasize about sex. For example, during a busy day, you should stop and think about sex and allow yourself to feel sexual and ready for action. However, thinking about sex doesn’t mean playing pornographic scenarios in your mind over and over again. You should fantasize about your partner, and set goals about what you’d want sex to be the next time you’ll have it.
b) Be there emotionally
This means creating an atmosphere in which you can be rested, excited, and warmly intimate. Good sex is based on an emotional mood and atmosphere. It involves enjoying adventure, being stress-free, and feeling in love enough to focus on your sexual feelings. Great lovemaking is more about who you are rather than simply what you do.
c) Create the perfect intimate ambiance
This means altering your surroundings. It involves creating an environment that enhances and stimulates sexual arousal and meaningful, exciting interaction. Ideas abound in this domain, all you have to do is choose what best suits you. My advice: create a romantic ambiance by putting to work all your five senses. It’s nothing short of simple!
a) Sight. Experiment to lighting and find ways to add variety. I know you love to see her naked body, but you can enjoy the visual aspect of lovemaking in numerous other ways. Flickering candlelight gives ambiance and a pleasant scent, while leaving the bathroom door cracked may give just enough light to feel less exposed (if she’s not the strongest supporter of sex with the lights on), but visually connected. The partially covered is often more erotically stimulating than the fully exposed. The use of mirrors is also an excellent idea, since I know you’re big funs of watching what you’re doing in bed… while you are doing it! Make the bedroom aesthetically appealing to the eyes. The idea here is that you’re both yourselves and ok with what is happening in the bedroom. Be open and playful. Go slow. Setting the mood is not just something you want to get over with as quick as you can, to move on to the main event. Tease and revel in your sexual feelings that arise from the visual stimulation. And know that we’re talking about visual stimulation, how about you stimulated yourself by dressing her up as a sexy vixen? I bet that would get you in the mood in an instant! Buy her a set of sexy lingerie and have her strut in it in front of you, on the rhythms of your favorite songs.
b) Smell. Scents are an exciting part of creating sensual mood. The mind connects sensations such as the smell of perfume to erotic arousal and experiences. Your girlfriend’s perfume may be paired in your mind with her total self and especially her femininity and sexuality. Just a scent of it and you feel more in love and become quickly aroused. The sense of smell is extremely powerful, so don’t hesitate to use all sorts of candles, incense, and scented lotions as props to add sensual pleasure to the act of making love. Use them to treat your partner with a nice massage, stroking and caressing her body until both of you get hugely turned on.
c) Taste. Taste is not always associated with creating sexual moods, but it is a stimulating form of sexuality. The mouth, tongue, and lips are erogenous zones with many nerve endings and particular sensuality about them. Lingering over a sumptuous mean is a very sexual experience. Candlelight and conversations while having coffee and deserts are great mood setters. In the privacy of your bedroom, feeding each other food and placing favorite tastes in strategic places can be very erotic. Pair this with a good cunnilingus and she’s ready to go. There are also flavored lubricants that can be used in lovemaking and add an interesting twist to your sensual experience.
d) Hearing. Soft music creates marvelous atmosphere! Dare her to a slow-dance in your living room. Better yet, do it in the nude! Pairing music that expresses the love and commitment you feel for each other with your arousal and excitement will make lovemaking more intimate than ever. Also, dare and use dirty talking and uninhibited groans and squeals of pleasure during your sexual session.
e) Touch. Don’t neglect to employ a wide variety of sensual touching experiences. Women hate to be stimulated in the same way. Try gently rubbing an ice cube over sensitive areas while watching closely the way her body responds to it. Use anything you have at hand: satin gloves, a silk scarf, a piece of fur. But nerve endings and tactile senses involve more than just touching with your fingertips. Try lightly blowing hot air over her chest, stomach or genital area. Also, breathing gently into her ear can be profoundly erotic.
Have a seductive week,
P.S. If you want a much simpler definition of sensual sex, the answer is in yourself. Just think about the most awesome, tingling, hot sex you’ve ever had. Think about the way the sheets smelled, the wonderful sensation of her hands caressing your body, the kisses you gave each other, how she moaned when she orgasmed or how you cuddled in silence, after the deed was done. This is sensual sex- sex with the whole body alert, hungry for deeper and deeper feelings and sensations.