“Having eye contact for more than six seconds without looking away or blinking reveals a desire for either sex or murder.”
Condom etiquette: what to say and how to say it. You know you need one. So does she. Here’s how to make sure it happens… before it happens.
Maybe you’ve been flirting with this girl all night and the chemistry is so overwhelming you’re tongue tied, or maybe your hands are all over her body and all you can think about is having mind-blowing sex. But you don’t have a condom. Your mind races: Should I ask her if she has a condom? If so, how do I say it? When do I say it? Should I just go with it and see if she brings it up? Maybe she’ll be ok with not wearing a condom at all. You’re nervous. It’s awkward. You don’t want to turn her off. Well, dude, it’s time to take control of your body and your health. The number of people diagnosed with an STD is rising by the minute. That means you can’t be scared to flip the script anymore. No matter how bad you want it.
You can be sexy and safe – that’s just being smart. When you have unprotected sex, there’s a nagging voice in the back of your mind, so it’s hard to be fully engaged. When you’re protected, you can have fun, let loose. Protection equals pleasure. But if you’re stumped on how to bring up “the talk”, follow my step-by-step guide on tackling the topic in any situation – before you unzip.
If you’re on a 3rd date
What to do: Be proactive. Stash a condom in your wallet and casually give her a peak at dinner.
What to say: “I picked something up today that I think you might like.” Emphasize today, so she knows this is not your regular modus operandi.
If you’re with the girl whom you’ve been lusting after all night
What to do: On the cab ride home, be straightforward and unapologetic. It’s time we don’t allow our culture to place shame or guilt on one’s desire and right to choose sexual pleasure. It’s a personal decision.
What to say: “Do you have one? If not, let’s get one.”
If you’re with your regular playmate
What to do: Use humor. Make a joke about the fact that you don’t want to ruin the mood by grabbing a condom, and say something playful.
What to say: “Promise you’ll still want to do it after we take a 30-second time-out?”
If you’re busy unzipping her skinny jeans
What to do: On a hookup or with a relatively new sex partner, people can fall into a trap of fearing that the other person won’t like them as much if they start placing demands on them. In the end, people are most turned on by those who respect themselves and can make independent decisions. So take the lead and give her the heads up that what you’re about to say might make her feel uncomfortable so she’s not blindsided.
What to say: “I have to bring up something a little awkward.”
If you’re with your girlfriend
What to do: Put the focus on taking your relationship to the next level, and suggest picking out condoms with her. It’s also a good way to talk about your needs in the bedroom.
What to say: “I’m excited to take it to the next level. I thought we could go shopping for condoms together.”
Also, never judge a girl who carries a condom. It’s not a sign that she’s “easy” and you shouldn’t make her feel that she shouldn’t disclose the information for fear of being misunderstood. If a woman carries a condom, it’s a sign that she’s careful and that she means business. She knows what she wants and is smart about her decisions.
Have a sexy week,
P.S. Don’t think that being adventurous in bed means refusing to wear a condom. If you’re looking for ways to keep things fresh, choose different positions or locations, don’t risk your health.