If you’d rather skip straight to the video demonstration… Watch the video here.
No hand positions for the first half of this one. Instead, five sentences, in the order they need to be said, because in my experience the words are the technique and everything else is secondary.
Here is why.
The physical sensation that arrives immediately before female ejaculation is, for most women, indistinguishable from needing to urinate. Not similar to. Indistinguishable. It comes from sustained pressure on the urethral sponge, which sits directly against the urethra, and the nervous system reports it using the only vocabulary it has.
So at the exact moment when the correct action is to let go entirely, her body delivers an urgent instruction to clamp down, backed by every piece of social training she has received since she was three years old. And she clamps.
That is where it stops. Not at technique. There. And no amount of finger work solves a problem that is made of embarrassment.
Sentence One, Said Beforehand: “I put a towel down.”
Five words, said flatly, while you are doing it, without eye contact or ceremony.
What those words remove is the entire logistical anxiety that sits underneath the physical one. She is not only worried about what it will feel like. She is worried about the mattress, the sheets, the explanation, and the cleaning up afterwards in front of you.
Handle it in advance and handle it casually. A towel that appears mid-encounter, urgently, communicates expectation. A towel that was already there communicates that this is normal and nobody is going to make a thing of it.
Sentence Two, Said During: “Whatever happens, happens. I’m not going anywhere.”
Eleven words. These are the ones.
Say them when you feel her start to hold back, which you will feel as a change in her breathing and a slight withdrawal of her hips away from your hand rather than toward it.
What they do is remove the consequence. She is not braced against the sensation, she is braced against your reaction to the sensation. Every woman who has been in this position has run the same calculation: if I let go and something comes out of me, what does his face do.
Answer the question before she has to ask it.
Sentence Three, Said at the Threshold: “Push.”
One word, and it is counterintuitive enough that it has to be said out loud or it will not occur to her.
The instinct at that moment is to clench, because clenching is what you do when you feel like you might urinate. Clenching prevents the whole event.
The correct action is a gentle outward bearing-down, the same muscular direction as pushing rather than holding. It feels wrong. It is the entire mechanism. And she will not do it on instinct, because instinct is telling her the precise opposite, which is why a man who knows to say the word is worth ten men with better hands.
Sentence Four, Said Afterwards: Nothing At All
No commentary. No wow. No triumph, no wiping, no getting up to deal with the bed.
Stay exactly where you are and carry on as though nothing unusual occurred, because from her side something extremely exposing just occurred and the following ten seconds decide whether it ever happens again.
I have watched this go wrong more times than I have watched it go right, and it almost never goes wrong at the technique. It goes wrong in the ten seconds afterwards, when a well-meaning man says something celebratory and turns a physical event into a performance she now has to live up to.
And While We Are Here: Two Different Things Are Being Discussed
A point of accuracy, because the terms get used interchangeably and they should not be.
Female ejaculation proper is a small volume of thick, whitish fluid produced by the Skene’s glands, which sit alongside the urethra and are structurally analogous to the prostate. It contains prostate-specific antigen. It is a teaspoon or two at most.
Squirting is the larger-volume event, and analysis of the fluid indicates it originates substantially from the bladder, though it is not simply urine and its composition changes under arousal. A 2015 French study using ultrasound before, during and after established the bladder emptying and refilling across the event.
The two can occur together and frequently do. I mention it because a woman who has been told she is producing urine, and believes it, will never let go, and the actual biochemistry is on her side.
Inside Iconic Squirters School
- The five sentences, with the timing for each and the tell that tells you when to say the second one.
- The hand position and pressure that produces the sensation in the first place, demonstrated in full.
- Why the pressure must be sustained rather than rhythmic, which is where most men lose it.
- The bearing-down mechanism explained in a way she can act on, rather than a way she can nod at.
- What to do in the ten seconds afterwards, which determines whether there is a next time.
The Words Are Only Half of It
I have given you the language because the language is the part nobody hands you. But there is a specific hand position underneath all of it, and it is not the curling motion you have seen described everywhere. It is flatter, firmer, and considerably more still than you would guess.
That part has to be seen.
Watch the full demonstration here.
With pleasure,
Gabrielle Moore
