“I admit, I have a tremendous sex drive. My boyfriend lives forty miles away.” – Phyllis Diller
It seems commonsense that pornography doesn’t mirror reality, but it can actually affect what you want in bed, what you expect from your partner, and what you demand of yourself when it comes to getting down and dirty. As adult film actress Nina Hartley puts it, “Pornography is a paid, professional performance by actors. It’s a fantasy – it isn’t meant to be a rule book and guide book or a how-to as a general rule.” Porn can be great for spicing up sex, but it can also make you think you’re doing it all wrong. Or that you’re partner is doing it all wrong. So, here’s a naughty reality check…
Size ‘em up
Penises can be large or small (and this depends on whether they’re erect or flaccid – some grow more than others with an erection), thick of thin, straight or curved, circumcised or not. These variations are all normal and perfectly functional and you should by no means compare your package with the shiny and fake polished one you see on the screen.
Circumcised?
Almost all porn stars have been circumcised – but, in real life, only about a third of men are. Regardless of whether you’re cut or uncut, it’s quality over quantity – get creative with positions, toys and techniques and you really can make the most of whatever you are working with.
It’s not like in the movies! A porn star’s average penis when erect – 20cm. A real guy’s average penis when erect – 15cm. Stop comparing (unless you’re winning!).
Furry friends
Most porn star divas don’t look like “real” women, and that’s no surprise: they’re not only chosen for their tiny bodies and massive, er, assets, but they also have a number of unrealistic physical attributes in the nether regions. Pube pros from the seventies and eighties have given way to the pube nos of today. There’s a massive lack of bush in current porn, so more and more women are getting their lady-forest waxed, shaved, plucked and lasered. If there ever was a time that women resembled newborn babies to an almost frightening extent, now’s that time.
HOWEVER – 40% of women don’t remove their pubic hair. I think every women has the right to choose how she wants to present herself and how she desires to look like down there.
Vagina panorama
There’s a big difference in the standardized porn vagina versus the natural diversity in the length and shape of most regular lady bits. Porn magazines have actually been called out for Photoshopping out “unsightly” inner labia on their models! But it really doesn’t matter if your partner is tucked up or hanging low: as long as she accepts her vajizzle, you can have a roaring sex life.
The big O
On to the grand finale of porn: the orgasm. Usually there is a focus on male orgasm as the goal, with the woman’s pleasure being a side effect of his amazing skills. Another visible difference: Real sex usually lasts just 15 to 30 minutes, including foreplay, while porn sex can go for hours, and of course everyone comes multiple times!
The breech with reality is even more obvious when you think about the fact that real women not only have difficulty reaching those much-desired multiple orgasms, but also find it hard orgasming at all (especially during vaginal sex), and half of all women sometimes fake it. While porn stars seem to have some sort of Viagra-like endurance (they just lay there, being pounded allover and from all imaginable – and sometimes unimaginable – positions), 16 to 17 percent of women (but also men – who fear they might be coming to soon, as opposed to their pornographic counterparts) report they felt anxious about their ability to perform.
If you see that your partner is not “bubbling over” like those porno divas, communicate with her about what feels good and what not, slow it down, relax and take matters into your own hands (or use your mouth for that matter!)
Fake O moments – The orgasms women have in porn are not only powerful and frequent, they are also particularly juicy, with plenty of squirting or female ejaculation.
The real O – However, only 40% (less than half!) of all women have ever experienced any kind of squirting during sex. It’s usually infrequent, unplanned and can be a bit of a shock (especially for some ladies, but for men as well!).
Have a sensual week,
Gabrielle Moore
P.S. So next time you are chilling on the couch, watching your favorite porn star, refrain from comparing your partner (or your overall sex life and experience) with what you see on the screen. It’s not beneficial for anybody, especially your self esteem. To discover more advanced tips and techniques about foreplay CLICK HERE NOW!
