“Whether you are kissing, rubbing, licking or fingering her, pinning her down will drive her insane. That feeling of helplessness really turns women on.” – Pauline Reage
One perfectly timed brush of the thigh can take a sexual encounter from pretty good to holy smokes, this is hot! There’s a slew of science that proves how the power of touch can stir sizzle when it comes to hitting the sheets. All it takes is knowing a few key moves. Touching isn’t just sweet; it sets off the release of the bonding hormone oxytocin, the same hormone that also triggers a cascade of physical and emotional reactions, like a lower heart rate, slower breathing, and a surge in feelings associated with love and lust.
Even when sex isn’t the goal, regular touching acts as glue for a couple and the majority of women rated themselves happier in relationships that include kissing and cuddling on the regular. While we touch during sex – obviously – way too many couples don’t maximize the power of touch while they are hooking up or even just hanging out. Here, some touch-tastic ideas that will not only bring you closer as a couple but will also make sex feel extra hot.
Even if you can go from workday to foreplay at the drop of your pants, it pays to take your time doing some necking before you go at it. Run your hands through her hair, kiss her earlobe, rub her back (she won’t be surprised or complain when your hands wander). Gentle touch primes us for a more intense orgasm by building our anticipation for what’s to come. It also gives you time to think about the sexy things you want to do to each other next.
Sex scenes in movies are all touchy and sensual and drawn out… but in real life? Not so much. Be that movie guy! Go all dramatic when you lean in for a kiss. Wrap your arms around her and grab behind her neck for a Hollywood-approved hot kiss. Just going through those motions will make you feel way more passionate.
Make like a human sandwich and lie so you and your partner are both facing down, flat on top of the other, totally naked. Let your bodies meld and your breaths sync for a few minutes. Your partner, being on top, gets to let her limbs go limp and feel your warmth underneath. You, being on the bottom, get that calm, secure feeling you experience with a weighted blanket. Plus, your naked bodies smushed together will probably give you a few other ideas.
Her mouth, her nose (yep, I swear), and what she’s packing in her panties are three of her parts most densely populated with nerve endings that connect to the sensory regions of the brain. Touch around them first, then touch them directly, but not just with your hands – use your lips, tongue, nipples, for new sensations that will give her a little thrill.
Show and tell
Which of your body parts are you most proud of? (I’ll give you a minute to pick just one, you stud!) Settled? Grab her hands and place them there. If you’re feeling good about your pecs – and your partner focuses her attention exactly on that area, running her hands up and down in a rhythmic motion, you’ll feel even greater about your body and what it can do. The result? Better sex, of course!
Take off those damn clothes
Sometimes it feels like too much trouble to pull your shirt all the way off and get stark naked. But do it. When you’re not too lazy to take off all your clothes, it makes sex feel less like we’re checking a box and more like you’re having a really passionate night together. Not to mention there’s more skin-on-skin contact, which means more nerves get stimulated, which means stronger orgasm.
You’ve climaxed; she’s climaxed. Now what? Lots of men and women are super sensitive to touch after orgasm (especially women – and especially there, so proceed gingerly). But don’t just roll away. Spoon or be spooned, gently caress the how-is-it-possible-that-this-is-so-soft underside of her arm or her cute butt or her chest – wherever you naturally rest your hands – with slow, gentle strokes or circles. It feels so good you might just go for round two.
P.S. If after doing all of these touch exercises you’re still feeling like passion is in the air, click here and spend a few breathless minutes reading about more means to achieving the most sensual orgasm of your life.