Tantra sex is the weaving of sexual energy between two lovers for the purpose of creating greater intimacy, ecstasy as well as erotic and spiritual enlightenment. Rather than racing for the finish line or orgasm, Tantra sex is a slow sensual journey of connection between lovers, where becoming orgasmic, rather than reaching climax is the aim.
Tantra is all about the senses, so create a soothing sensual space that will heighten all of your senses together. This could be your bedroom or another space that you prepare beforehand. Remove clutter and distractions, light candles and dim lights, play soft sensual music, light incense, add lots of pillows and even hang sensual fabrics to make your love nest a sexy oasis. You can also prepare a sensual snack of aphrodisiac foods to feed each other before your sexy ritual to follow.
You’ll want to be relaxed and feeling sensual before you begin. So take a sexy shower or hot bath together and cleanse all your daily distractions and worries away. Afterwards, you should dress lightly (and provocatively too!) in any light sensual clothing. Silk robes or a kimono are ideal as they are easy to remove.
Next you may like to give each other a sensual massage using scented massage oil. Many massage oils now come in candle form and are made of soy which you can heat up and are the ultimate in sensuality.
The Sensual Ritual
You will begin in the sexual position called the Yab Yum with the man sitting in lotus position (cross-legged) on the floor or a cushion and the woman sitting on his lap with legs wrapped around behind his back in an embrace. Make sure this position is very comfortable, as you will sit in this position for extended foreplay. Yab Yum is a great position for less vigorous lovemaking as well as clitoral and G-spot stimulation.
Next, you practice a technique called “eye gazing”, gazing silently into each other’s eyes, then beyond the eyes into each other’s soul. Although it may seem awkward and vulnerable to begin with, sustained eye gazing creates deeper intimacy, connection and serene harmony.
Next, bring your attention to your breath and take long, slow breaths deep into the belly and gradually exhale. Try to synchronize your breath to match your partners breathing alternately: as one exhales, the other inhales and so on; to create circular breathing which weaves the sexual energy back and forth between you both. Orgasmic breathing helps move sexual energy through the body and can lead to euphoria and intense orgasms. Continue eye gazing as you practice orgasmic breathing for at least 10 minutes.
Begin to touch each other and become aware of how every part of your body feels. Rather than going straight for the erogenous zones, try other areas like the back of the neck, sides of the torso, and inside of the thighs. Use soft caresses, kisses, fingernails, soft whispers and breathe and appreciate the beauty and sensuality of each other’s body. Eventually, your caresses can wander to more erogenous parts of the body as well.
Rocking Your Pelvis
Start by both rocking your pelvises and squeezing your PC muscle in a rhythmic manner. This charges the erotic energy at your root chakra (genitals) and makes it more intense. Now, begin to vocalize and moan, as this helps cycle the erotic energy up through the body to the throat chakra.
Slow Sex and Prolonged Arousal
When you are both ready, the man will ask if he can enter his lover and she will accept. Again, keep this slow and remember to breathe. He will enter for a few strokes, then pull out and linger near her opening. Continue to rock your hips, squeeze your PC muscle and moan as you as you slowly make love.
Remember, the goal here is not orgasm, but prolonged arousal and to maintain a state of sexual ecstasy for as long as you can. Going slow both builds her anticipation and thus her arousal, while for him, it prolongs ejaculation and gives him stamina to hold back.
The man continues to enter for a few strokes and then withdraws, building up intensity for as long and both partners can last. He can also tease and stroke her, rubbing the head of his penis up and down her vulva including stimulating her clitoris, while varying his pattern, so she doesn’t know what to expect.
Continue this process, slowly, building intimacy, pleasure and prolonged arousal for as long as possible. This eventually allows both the man and his lover to last the same amount of time before orgasm, and for both to achieve extended and more powerful orgasms simultaneously.