What is premature ejaculation?
Some experts refer to it as early ejaculation and others call it premature ejaculation. It has been defined as ejaculating before the person wants to ejaculate. Many people think that this can be clearly defined within a certain time period, but it is actually defined simply as, before or very shortly after sexual penetration with minimal sexual stimulation and before the person wants it to.
Why does it happen?
There are many different reasons why premature ejaculation can occur. Sometimes it happens to a man every once in awhile and other times it’s something that a man deals with every time he has sex. For those that deal with it on a regular basis, it could be a major stressor in their sexual lives, but even those who only deal with PE every once and awhile can become concerned when it happens to them. Some of the causes could be:
- Being with a new partner
- Age – Premature ejaculation does not only happen to young men, but it’s more common in younger men. Some men learn to control their ejaculation time better as they become older and more experienced.
- It has been a long time since the man last ejaculated
- Sexual conditioning – One theory says that young boys sexual condition themselves to cum quickly because when they masturbate they try to cum as fast as possible in order not to be discovered.
- Psychological reasons, such as anxiety, guilt, or depression
- Another theory says that men who experience PE regularly have higher penis sensitivity than most men
What can you do if you struggle with premature ejaculation?
There are various ways to treat PE. If you are interested in one of the more invasive treatments that involve medication, you need to make an appointment to discuss it with your physician.
1. Deep breathing – Believe it or not, something as simple as controlling your breathing can help with PE. Shallow, short breathing actually quickens your heartbeat and can make you ejaculate faster. Practice deep breathing outside of the bedroom first to get used to how it feels. Inhale slowly for 5 seconds, hold that breath in for 3 seconds, then slowly release the breath for another five seconds and finally hold that for 3 seconds before starting the cycle again. See if you can keep up this deep breathing tactic for at least 5 minutes. Once you have it mastered, try using deep breathing during sex.
2. The Squeeze Method – This method is most effective when first used as a solo activity during masturbation. Right when you think you are about to cum, you squeeze your penis at the base between your thumb and forefinger in order to reduce the blood flow and stop ejaculation. Keep in mind that it might take some practicing to learn exactly when you need to apply the squeeze and exactly how it will work best for you. That’s why I recommend trying it by yourself first, so that you can really get to know the technique without any distractions from your partner.
3. The Stop/Start Method – This technique is often used in combination with the squeeze method. In addition to squeezing the base of the penis when you think you are going to cum, you should also completely stop all stimulation and wait for the feeling that you are about to cum to pass. Once the feeling has passed, you can start stimulation again. Again, the best way to practice this method at first is by yourself during masturbation. This will allow you to stop and start (and squeeze) as many times as you need to without worrying about your partner. During masturbation you should keep stopping stimulation several times until you finally allow yourself to finish. The theory is that over time you will teach yourself how to control your ejaculation.
4. Promescent – This is a new topical medication that has just been approved by the FDA. It should be applied to the penis 10 minutes before sexual activity. It works to control ejaculation, but still allows the man to enjoy the sensations during sex. It’s also popular because it doesn’t negatively effect your partner’s sensations.
5. Condoms With Benzocaine – This is another topical medication that can decrease sensitivity. It is best used inside a condom since it will also decrease sensitivity for your partner.
6. Another option is for a man to take a certain type of antidepressant that has been shown to help with PE. With this option, however, it is absolutely necessary to consult with your physician beforehand.