The only thing more satisfying than being on the receiving end of great oral sex is knowing that you did a great job performing it on your partner. To give is to receive, if you will. Every sexual partner has different taste — literally and figuratively — and when you figure out exactly what your partner likes, it can be intensely gratifying.
Having a few go-to tips in your back pocket will make oral sex speed along for those times when you feel like you’ve been under water for hours. No shade, but giving oral sex is work, and it doesn’t make you any less altruistic if you wish it would go by quicker sometimes.
Watching porn can be helpful to research new techniques, but porn is aspirational, so you can’t always copy and paste what you see into your own sex life. So I asked my studs to share their best tips for performing oral that totally work in real life. These innovative strategies might be just the thing to push your partner’s buttons. Feel free to go to town and claim all the bragging rights, you cunning linguist.
Don’t stop
Some people tend to feel extra sensitive after an orgasm, but one patient suggests to keep going after your partner has orgasmed because, “there’s usually more left in the tank,” he says. That’s true for some people, and studies have found that if your moves are slower and less forceful after your partner has climaxed, it might be easier for your lady to have multiple orgasms. Talk to your partner, and see if that works for them.
Don’t rely solely on your tongue
One patient suggests gently sucking on your partner’s clitoris, and using your tongue at the same time. “Suck and hold it in your mouth, then use your tongue; it’s not all tongue-out licking,” he says.
Make eye contact
While you’re going down on your partner, make eye contact with them, suggests a patient: “I love seeing my partner close his eyes and roll them back.” Your woman will love having your entire focus on her.
Vary your speed
One patient suggests varying your speed and pressure while giving oral sex. “I’ve found that alternating between a steady, rhythmic motion and then going fairly slow is effective,” he told me. This tip also gives you a little bit of a break if you’re tired — win-win.
Be enthusiastic
A lot of people get stressed receiving oral sex because they’re worried their partner isn’t enjoying it. If you act enthusiastic as you caress your lady down there, your partner will feel much more relaxed about it and be even more turned on, one patient says.
Stimulate the anus
One patient says she likes it when her partner “puts a finger in my butt.” You can also both try wearing butt plugs during the duration of oral sex.
Finger fancy
Do double-duty and use your hands while you stimulate your partner’s clitoris with your tongue: “Whenever I’m performing oral, I like to do a little fingering (usually two fingers pressed up against the anterior wall of the vagina, aiming for that G-spot) while I lick her clitoris,” one patient says.
Embrace the vibration
Don’t be afraid of breaking out the vibrator! It can be an invaluable tool to the art of oral. The average woman takes 20 minutes to climax from oral sex, so you’re going to be there for a while. There’s no shame in implementing the help of a tried-and-true toy, suggests a patient. “Use something small and easily handled so you can still feel like you’re in control,” he says. “Put the vibrator on the clitoral hood, then spend some time with your tongue in the labia area.”
Hot kisses,
Gabrielle Moore
P.S. For more tips and tricks on how to rock your partner’s world with oral, check out my program on the matter, Oral Rapture.