“The secret of love is seeking variety in your life together, and never letting routine chords dull the melody of your romance.” ~ Unknown
The notion that keeping a romance alive is a labor of love can be a harsh reminder to those of us who have let our courtship dissolve into the hum-drum mechanics of every day life, but even the coldest engine can be purring in no time with a little jump-start!
Breaking free from debilitating routines can seem incredibly difficult, even impossible, but all you need is a little forethought and an open mind. You may worry about rejection – after all, being laughed or scoffed at by the person you love most can be a huge ego-buster – but it is vital to remember that if you are bored, it’s safe to assume that your wife is too. It might take a few tries before she starts to warm up, but flirting and foreplay are just like everything else in life…. practice makes perfect. Take a deep breath, swallow your fear and dive right in!
Let’s Get Physical
I don’t have to tell you that proper hygiene is essential – you’ve been in the game long enough to know that a shower and a shave go a long way, or that bad breath is a mood killer. But do you know which brand of cologne makes your wife swoon? Has that special suit you look so good in been hiding in the back of the closet along with her sexiest dress? Taking the time to dress up isn’t just about looking nice. It not only shows that you are willing to put out the effort to be noticeable, but it marks the time you spend together as special! Whether you’re going to the most expensive restaurant you can afford or taking a picnic in the park, if you want your evening to end with steam between the sheets, you need to start early by laying the scene.
If your advances are often rebuffed, or if you just follow the same old lesson plan, pay attention to the time line. For men, passion often begins and ends in bed, but a woman’s desire tends to require some smoldering. Why spend days or weeks frustrated when you could be laying the foundation for a mind blowing experience? To start the fires burning, blow some life into the coals with well-placed words! Leave your wife a romantic note, send a quick text telling her how much you miss her, or a sexy email that you can’t wait to kiss her. Flowers always get my juices flowing, and you can gain serious bonus points by sending them when she can brag about her amazing husband who gives her flowers ‘just because’.
Make the Move
With romance in the air, the way is wide open for affection! Think back to the beginning, when everything was fresh and new, when you could barely keep your hands off each other. How would your wife react if, instead of a peck on the cheek when you walked out the door in the morning, she was swept off her feet with an exhilarating smooch that left her in a haze of endorphins with an entire day to want more? Be unexpected! Hold her hand walking down the street, caress her face and hair. Touch her with ease, without any sense of urgency. If she suspects that your romance comes with strings attached, the magic will disappear.
Talk It Out
If flirting outside the bedroom doesn’t lead straight to sexual experimentation – you know what, even if it does! – talking about your sexual desires and preferences is vital to any happy relationship. Don’t joke around and try not to sound sarcastic. Just talk about what you want, what intrigues you and ask her to do the same! You may be surprised if you bring up oral sex, toys or roleplay – she might be yearning for the same… or have a few ideas of her own!
Build Up and Cool Down
We all experience the ups and downs of the libido-coaster, but it is important to maintain intimacy and romance even if we aren’t at peak performance. When you reach new heights of pleasure, don’t use it as an excuse for complacency – no one likes a lazy lover. If you continue to touch and talk to your woman as the sexy seductress you want her to become, she can respond with her own set of creative ideas for sparking your fire! Take your time and remember, if you can nurture her receptive desire, sex can be as special and spontaneous as you can imagine.
Be open and honest, enjoy foreplay before the foreplay, make little changes to your routines one at a time. Most importantly, just do it! Don’t put it off one day more. The time to change your love life for the better is right now.