I would not blame you for not knowing what goes through a woman’s mind — we’ve learned to be very secretive about some aspects of our lives, especially when it comes to our sexuality. As you may know, society puts constant pressure on women to be “nice” or “good girls” — so if you’re trying to make your lady give up on her inhibitions, you have to be the first one to tell her that expressing her sexuality will only make her more beautiful and powerful.
But there’s also a strange mechanism that happens when someone says you’re not allowed to do this and that: you actually become more eager to do it. So if you think women only have “soft” or “boring fantasies”, I am here to tell you without hesitation that you are wrong, baby.
When I started to really trust my husband, I told him about one of my most intense bedroom fantasies and — guess what? — he got so turned on that we had to do it right away. So here are a few of the most “fiery” sexual thoughts women have and suggestions on how to make her confess (your sex life will improve considerably, I promise you).
The Master and The Submissive Beauty
Despite what you may think, A LOT of women like to be dominated in the bedroom (Yes, including being cuffed, pulled by the hair and spanked.) It’s a primal instinct, because for a long time — at the beginning of humankind — women were actually forced into having sex with any man who wanted them. There’s nothing sexy about that and thank God we have evolved considerably since then — but the desire of being dominated may still be dormant in your lady’s subconscious. Or she may even be aware of it, but too ashamed to tell you about the submissive role she wants to play.
Be careful, though — not all women will appreciate a harsh approach, so the key here is to know how to make her feel dominated without disrespecting her, which will only make the experience traumatizing. So don’t slap her yet — unless she begs for it.
To know for sure if your woman secretly craves being submissive, start with lighter moves like gently grabbing her wrists and holding them above her head or grabbing her neck while you penetrate her. If her moans begin to intensify — bingo! — your girl is craving for more domination.
Now, this doesn’t mean you can start acting like a savage — always, always start gently and make a slow progression. If you have something more intense in mind, talk to her about it and ask her permission. While they may crave domination, some women don’t like to have their hair pulled, for example. Or maybe one specific area of their body is more sensitive to firm strokes. Always remember to communicate your desires because it’s the best way to encourage her to tell you about hers.
The Older&Experienced Lover
If you are middle-aged or older, you will like this — a lot of young women fantasize about having sex with older men. When I asked them about this, they just say they crave for an older, experienced man to teach them how to make love — because he already knows exactly how he wants to be pleased. Or that they like that sexy sensation of being patronized and called “sweetheart” or even the ego boosting sensation of watching his eyes filled with gratitude and incredulity at his luck for getting to bang a hot young thing like them. Sounds fun, right?
The not so fun part is that you can’t know for sure if she really wants to get it on with you, which may lead to confusion and embarrassing situations. Don’t be so disappointed, though — there is a way of finding out if she actually wants to experience with older men. I recently heard that this program called “Ageless” and created by Julian Foxx has a lot of great feedback from men. It’s pretty controversial, but it may change your sexual life completely. Just know that this programme was NOT created by me.
The Luxury Hotel Escapade
Put the blame on romantic comedies, erotic novels such as Fifty Shades of Grey or just on their exquisite imagination — but there’s NO woman on this planet who hasn’t fantasized at least once about having intense passionate sex in a luxury hotel room. Having sex on a king-sized bed with luxurious silky sheets, chilled champagne and tempting strawberries delivered by room service nearby are particularly intriguing to women. And it’s not just about the luxury factor — what REALLY turns them on is the novelty. The sudden change of scenery. They even see YOU as a new, sexier lover, simply because the circumstances are new and exciting. There’s also something incredibly kinky about hotel sex because it reminds you of a one night stand or even of an affair — so don’t be surprised if she’ll be more adventurous than usual.
Unlike the ones mentioned above, this fantasy is not as taboo, so you can approach the subject whenever you want, especially if you feel like your sex life needs a new spark — trust me, this one will deliver! Both your sexual and emotional connection will grow, so it’s worth a try. Just make sure you don’t make her feel “cheap” when you mention this fantasy. I would suggest you make it clear from the beginning that you want to spoil her like a princess.
There are a lot of other exciting fantasies that go through her mind while she casually looks out the window when sitting in front of her computer at the office (trust me, she’s not just looking out the window). If you want a chance to discover them, talk more openly about your own desires. Empathy and communication can achieve a lot when it comes to new levels of sexual pleasure.
P.S.: Don’t just assume she won’t like your proposition — find better ways of talking about it. And especially if you’re older, it doesn’t mean you suddenly can’t experiment with the intensity of crazy and young sex.