The Big Tease: Desire and Denial



The Big Tease: Desire and Denial

One of the strangest and most precious things about orgasm is how long it can really last. Most of us ascribe only the violent, explosive climax of pleasure with the orgasmic experience, but there are so many more elements to erotic desire and female orgasm.

Learning to be a master of each of these elements is all about becoming the Prince of Tease. Can you handle taking control of the situation, slowing down for a while, and getting to know every nuance of her erotic body. Are you ready?

To Tease: 101

What does it take to be a tease master?

You need a few key traits before you can really take full advantage of her body’s orgasmic potential:

  • patience
  • self-control
  • perseverance
  • observation skills

Get comfy and prep yourself for a long, slow build up she won’t forget.


The first important aspect of being the kind of tease that ladies love is patience. You need to be more patient than your lover! Can you do that? Can you wait for sex not just until she’s ready, but until she is begging for it? I believe in you!

You need to learn to be strong and firm. Your wife may jump right into the usual routine and start working towards pleasuring you. Don’t let her distract you from the tease! Gently remind her that you want to focus on her tonight and really get her worked up. Be assertive but don’t get aggressive unless she specifically asks for it (ie. When she says, “Harder!” that’s a good indication you can talk about upping the intensity). If a little bit of stimulation from her helps keep you aroused, you will also need your…


This is great training for you in orgasmic control and performance. Let her give you some pleasure, but be sure to let her know when she needs to step back so you can hang on to your focus. If you aren’t paying attention to giving her pleasure, you need to take the lead again. If you are going to be in control of her pleasure, you need to be in control of hers too.


Whether your wife is easily orgasmic or could take hours to come, you will need time, energy and serious stamina to really make an impression with the tease. Take your time. Try not to keep looking at the clock, but find some way to ensure you are waiting long enough. Try getting started around sundown and working up to orgasm slowly until it’s fully dark. Vary your position, use toys when you need a break, do whatever you can to extend your playtime energy.

Observation Skills

Knowing how long is long enough, when to back off and let her simmer for a while, and when to push forward and bring her right up to (or over) the edge – these are skills of observation. Watch her during foreplay for signs of arousal. Become intimately familiar with her physical responses and do whatever you can to learn what to expect from her body. If she’ll allow it, record these extended orgasmic experiences on video and enjoy watching them together so you can learn how her expressions reflect her feelings and experiences. You’ll become a master of her orgasm in no time!

Watch out for flushed skin, funny expressions, giggles, deep sighs, moans and groans. If she is getting close to orgasm and you aren’t quite ready to finish up, pull back and focus on less obvious erogenous zones. Many women will find that teasing makes them more likely to experience multiple orgasms, but if your wife tends towards the terminal type, be sure to give her plenty of time to enjoy all the more subtle sensations. Touch her face and her neck, kiss her shoulders, nibble her ears, touch her collarbone and massage her breasts. Some women can experience orgasm just by nipple stimulation alone!

The Reversal

If you are in the mood to test your own limits of orgasmic and ejaculatory control, turn things around and let your lover tease and tantalize you right to the edge! If either of you find it difficult to maintain a high level of arousal for too long at once, try playing back and forth. Bring your lover right to the edge, then back off and lie back. Let her do the same for you, then switch it up again. You can go back and forth like this for hours. Be sure to bring water and some sexy snacks…

Hot kisses,

Gabrielle Moore

P.S. For more steamy secrets of the female orgasm, check out my video program on the subject – Her Secret Hot Spots. 

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