Yes, it’s a thing! We’ve got tips that will elevate your average bedroom sesh into a soul-stirring one.
Gone are the days when sex was an act of reproduction or pleasure. It’s broken free of its restrictive definition of ‘the penetration of a vagina by a penis’ and has evolved into something a lot more intense and complex. We’ve grown into mastering the art of connecting on a deeper level, where love and lust collide, making the bond between two souls much stronger. Confused? Fear not, we’ve got you covered.
So, how do you even begin to achieve this type of passion? Through a little something called tantric sex. Sexual intercourse is no longer an act of body-on-body pleasure or a prerequisite to building a family. It’s much more than that. It’s the most intimate way two bodies and souls can become one, and tantric sex is no different. All it does is make you slow down and relax enough to feel a sense of intense awareness and control. It teaches you to be present in yourself, as well as with your partner in every possible way.
Whether you have been together for six months or six years, never lose sight of the connection. Keep igniting that spark to ensure the intimate energy, that connects you as you are, grows with time. You need to bring down the walls and expand your horizons. Share your vulnerabilities. Let your biggest fears and your biggest insecurities ground you to Earth as one.
Tantric sex can help you achieve this. You might not see the results overnight, but in the long run, your efforts will pay off. If you’re new to tantric sex, what will help you is first to try my Tongue Twister program, which basically teaches you how to slowly “torture” your partner with tongue exercises that truly… burn.
STEP 1 Block out about three to four hours, and make sure any, and all kinds of distractions—work, kids, or family— are completely taken care of. You will need this time for the two of you.
STEP 2 Create a romantic, calm, and relaxing atmosphere. Dim the lights, or switch them off and use candles (bonus points if they’re scented!). Prep a playlist with slow instrumental music and play in the background. You will need: massage oils, towels, pillows, a few snacks and something to drink.
STEP 3 Step into the bath together. Let the warm water caress your skin and calm your body. Look into your partner’s eyes, watch the way her body moves and the way water flows through her hair. Encourage her to do the same to you. Outline her body with your fingertips, but keep in mind not to engage in sexual activities yet. Let a serene feeling settle in you, calming your nerves.
STEP 4 Once out of the bathroom, sit apart from each other (without facing each other). Both of you need to close your eyes and relax. Take slow but steady breaths. Focus on inhaling and exhaling until you feel your mind is at ease and completely free of other thoughts and disturbances. HINT: You won’t be able to master this overnight, but remember, practice makes perfect.
STEP 5 Sit cross-legged, facing each other (or in any other intimate position you prefer). Let your knees and hands touch. Share each other’s energy and emotions. Synchronise your breathing to match your boo’s and let your minds, souls, and bodies connect. HINT: This, too, takes time. So keep at it, until it comes easily to you both.
STEP 6 Have your partner lie down and give her a slow and sensual full-body massage. Keep your mind from wandering and focus on what’s happening now, both within yourself, as well as with your partner. End the massage with a long and intense genital massage. If you feel she’s about to climax, focus her attention elsewhere, prolonging her orgasm as much as possible. Focus on other parts of her body and allow that feeling to spread to the rest of her body. Be sure to communicate and ask her what she likes and what feels good. This is key. HINT: She may (or may not) orgasm, but remember the big O is not your goal here. Rather, it is to be aware of every touch.
STEP 7 After she recovers, ask her to give you the same massage. She should pay attention to your body language and sounds, understanding that your wants and desires may not be similar to what she enjoys. She should maintain intimate contact with you through her hands, kisses, or soft words of love. HINT: Again, your orgasm is not the goal; making you feel good and helping you maintain concentration is.
STEP 8 Once both of you recover from the massages, stay immobile in an intimate position. The recommended position in tantric sex is Yab Yum, believed to be more intimate. Your partner sits on your lap with her legs wrapped around you, and with your genitals connected. Stay still in this position taking in every part of your partner, breathing together and gazing into each other’s eyes until you feel a deep and undeniable connection filled with desire.
STEP 9 Slowly reposition yourself as you prefer without breaking the connection you’ve built throughout the previous steps. Then, make slow, long and passionate love the way you usually would.
STEP 10 Include tantric sex into your love life as much as possible to master the art of truly connecting through your mind, body, and soul as one.
P.S. If you need more inspiration for what to do when it comes to massaging your partner’s genitals, check out my Tongue Twister program. It contains some tongue massages that you’ll most definitely want to have in your erotic repertoire. She’ll scream in delight!