Let me help you take the pain out of pleasure.
We always aim for feel-good sex, but sometimes, the truth is that sex hurts—especially for women. In fact, research finds that some 30 percent of women experience some pain during vaginal intercourse and about 72 percent experience some pain during anal intercourse. Those are pretty substantial figures.
Worried your sex doesn’t feel quite right? Here, let me explain why sex can be painful for women and, most importantly, how to bring pleasure back to the bedroom—and send pain packing.
And since we’re on the topic of bringing more pleasure into the bedroom, check out my program – Bigger and Deeper. No matter what your penis size is, I will teach you how to completely fill your woman’s vagina as if you were twice the size…
Why can sex hurt her?
For vaginal intercourse, often the reasons are aggressive thrusting or sex without a lot of warm-up or build-up—and a lack of sufficient lubrication. (Most women require about 10 to 15 minutes of foreplay). A sex position such as Doggy Style that feels really deep and hits against the cervix or one that doesn’t fit well with your bodies can result in pain, too.
There are also different times of life. Two-thirds of women who are breastfeeding have significant pain during intercourse or vaginal penetration because they have lower levels of estrogen and therefore less vaginal lubrication and less flexible vaginal walls in general.
There are physical reasons sex can be painful, too. Vulvodynia, endometriosis, pelvic floor dysfunction and vaginismus are just some conditions that can make intercourse painful for women.
So how can you make sure she’s not in pain?
When I ask women if they told their partner about their pain, some do but many don’t—and some feel like their partner won’t care so they don’t tell them. Some worry it would be awkward and they don’t want to ruin the mood. You want to be an “askable” partner, where if your partner has any questions, they can come to you and you’ll respond well. Make sure that your partner knows that you always care how sex feels and that you always want to know if something’s not right. If your partner hurts in some way, show that you’re flexible about what your sex life looks like. It doesn’t have to always be intercourse. It could be a broader sex menu with oral sex, sex toys, massage, all kinds of things.
Are there any other ways to turn potentially painful sex into pleasurable sex?
Unless somebody really wants rough sex—and sometimes people do— err on the side of more gentle, nonaggressive sex. If you’re going for harder sex, make sure your partner really wants it for their pleasure, too, not just because they think that it’s what you want. And make sure that you use lubricant.
Keep these lubes around handy so she’ll be moaning in pleasure, not pain.
Thicker water-based lubes
Unlike typical water-based lubes, those that are thicker and provide a slightly creamier texture, making it seem like more of a conditioner for your skin, are better because they are designed with comfort in mind – it’s useful not just for time with your lady, but also if you want a less-rough experience with the palm sisters. Also, choose one that’s formulated to be bio-static – it helps stop the spread of bacteria, yeast infections or fungal spores, which takes safe sex to a new level!
Natural water-based lubes
Are you having problems picking the right water-based lube from the wide variety of options? Choose a natural type, because the formula isn’t made with glycerin, parabens, fragrances, flavors or hormones. Pick one that’s packed with soothing botanic ingredients like aloe vera, chamomile and pectin from fruit – it’s all stuff that women find premium.
P.S. Sex can be a lot of things — great, mediocre, creative, spontaneous — and sometimes it may be painful. To make sure this doesn’t happen to your partner, make sure your communication is smooth and always ask her about her feelings and thoughts after intercourse. And to make sure your sexual abilities defeat expectation and she can’t feel any pain, only immense pleasure, check out my program – Bigger and Deeper – in which I’m giving you some very effective ways to make your penis seem nearly twice as big.