Many women love hot, dirty, kinky, wanton, rip your clothes off, kind of sex.
There, now I’ve said it!
I’m sure you have heard of Fifty Shades of Grey. It is a series of books that have gone mainstream, and that have fired up women’s fantasies and libidos. Or, more accurately, the books have given women permission to explore their fantasies.
You see, women have always been sexual in nature. She likes hot, naughty sex as much as a guy does. But, until the last 5 years or so, women have felt unable to show it.
First, there was that whole history of women being sexually suppressed thing. Then, there was the virtually non-existent sex research in the area of female sexuality and pleasure until recently. And, finally, now that women have become, so-called liberated, they are still unfortunately slut-shamed when they own their sexuality and pleasure. Combine that with sexual abuse, and sometimes sex is not always a safe place for a woman to be.
This article is not about slut-shaming or sexual abuse. I just want you to realize a few reasons why women may not act as wanton in bed as you may want them to. They don’t feel safe to show how they really feel, because being a sexy, wanton little, sex kitten, makes them feel vulnerable.
So, how can you open her up and bring out her inner sex kitten?
Make Her Feel Safe
This is obvious, yet so many lovers carelessly throw away the gift of their sweetheart’s openness by being judgmental. Never judge, criticize, make fun of, sneer at, or put down someone’s openness about sex. This is truly a gift! If you have a lover who feels so safe with you that they will tell you their deepest desires. Cherish it. Don’t ever break their trust.
Communicate and Share Your Fantasies
Talk about your turn-ons, turn-offs and what makes you hot. Both men and women share many of the same fantasies. No doubt the two of you will have something in common that makes you hot. Create your own sexy bucket list together and explore some fun fantasies. Fantasies and role-playing allow her to not be herself, so it is easier to get into the role of a naughty school girl, sex slave or wanton secretary.
Dirty talk during sex is a sure fire way to get everything hotter. The way to do this is to start slow. Maybe at first you can tell her what you want her to do. “Take off your clothes and turn around so I can look at you.” “Ya, that’s good. You look so hot you are making me hard. Come on over here and feel it.” Use a deep voice and talk slow, making sure to be seductive. Tell her she is a naughty girl or a good girl, whichever she prefers. She may like to be called a slut, or a bad girl, but make sure you know this beforehand, as it could also offend her. Use dirty talk to praise her body, “Your ass is so sexy,” or, “You taste so good.” Or, simply describe what you are doing in a dirty way. “I love the feeling of being inside you. Oh, you are so tight and wet!”
Dominate Her in the Bedroom
Despite women becoming more assertive in the workplace, many women still love to be dominated in bed. Most women like to feel feminine, safe and taken care of by a strong, masculine man who is in control.
Be sure to talk about any type of BDSM play like bondage, humiliation, or spanking beforehand and if needed, give her a safe word like “RED”.
Here are some hot dominate ideas to try:
- Push her up against the wall and hold her wrists. Press your body against her and kiss her passionately. Tell her what you are going to do to her in the bedroom as you push your knee in between her thighs and spread her legs.
- Grind your pelvis against her and grope her breasts and ass. Rip open her blouse and bare her breasts. Pull up her skirt and pull her panties aside. Put your finger in her vulva and make sure she is good and wet, before fingering and rubbing her clitoris.
- Hold her down in bed and enter her. Playfully bite her neck and earlobes. Pull her hair if she likes this.
- You can also tie her wrists together, so you can have your hands free for other naughty things, or even gag her with a scarf, if this is something she would like to do.
- Make love to her slow and seductive or have hot rough sex.
Spanking and light bondage are two of the top dominant and submissive types of play that couples enjoy exploring together. Of course, make sure she is into this first.
Bend her over your knee, or get her to bend over a table and stick her butt out for erotic punishment. Tie her hands or tell her not to move. Slowly and seductively, bare her ass, and softly rub it with the palm of your hand. Grope your fingers into the fleshy part of her butt and squeeze her cheeks to get the blood flowing and make her erotically charged.
Start smacking her lightly on the cheeks of her ass. Stay away from the spine and lower back. Smack her on the apple of her cheeks or sweet spot (just above the thighs where her butt flesh begins). Alternate smacks with rubbing and kneading. Open her thighs and spank her pussy lightly and the inside of her thighs.
Make sure to pay attention to her body language. If she is trying to pull away from your hand, you are smacking too hard. If she is pushing up towards you, you are doing it just right. Alternate soft smacks with harder smacks. If she is moaning that is a good sign.
So, there are a few ways to make sex naughty and turn her into a sex kitten. Be careful, however, she may become addicted!